bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №43952
 03.03.2011
Bata told) They were driving with the men on a watch on the ural (with a kung which); drive long ~ 6 hours. They go, they go, of course. And the man turned one of the cucumbers with milk, and asked questions like, “Have you gone?” he answered proudly, “I have a iron stomach!” The hour passes. the man has a sweat on his forehead, but nothing, he is silent, fastened.. It goes a while, the man can no longer withstand: "TROMOSY!!!". The Ural is a high car, and before you get out, you need to lower the forest. But the man was clearly not before these troubles, he opens the door, jumping, and from a sharp landing, he is brutally looking straight into his pants))) And on the street the fierce frost -35.. And, since there was no water, the poor man had to wash in such a cold with vodka)))))) Then, when they went, he was put in the very end and opened the window to him, so that he did not smell, and from which he was all the way scared) This is how he heard "Iron Man"))

[ + 70 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43951
 03.03.2011
From the forum: My MCH asked to show him my pussy! I brought him my cat. He was very upset for something! What are the reasons?

O_O

[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №43950
 03.03.2011
1 – Do not forget! on flashes to create a file "Return_me.txt" in which we write the address and (optional) the amount of reward.

2 - in connection with the loss of notes we leave the same file on c:\ (for Linux / home)

3 - for MacBooks I think it's useless, they won't return anyway...

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №43949
 03.03.2011
Yesterday I was in Moscow.On the way back I was lucky - in a coupe with me was a beautiful girl. It was an unforgettable night! She was screaming! Almost the whole night!! to
The problem is that she was with her parents and she was 9 months away from the family... ))))

C is mine. Gissen

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №43948
 03.03.2011
Yesterday, I’m running from work... I’m in a hurry
In an hour for a date.
I run home, I look in the eyes of the dog I understand "walk wants".
I take it on my hands (taxa) and out of the apartment, at the first stage I understand that I do not find anywhere anymore, I shut up, and I go all the way, collecting all the stairs and perils. I got it means "finish"... painful to chew... and funny shit... to tears... I take the dog and remember, dirty, with broken socks and bad with tears, whether from smssh or from pain I will go home...
I know I won’t go anywhere any more... both me and the dog))
..and so pleased dad, so to say, supported what...he saw the picture...and says "no.... well, no. It will all go, only not to walk with the dog"....
Ohana

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №43947
 03.03.2011
XXX Go to the cinema!
YYY: I do not want.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
No hunting
xxx: back row, thumbs + chopsticks
YYY: I persuaded

[ + 59 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43946
 03.03.2011
The event took place at the disco. In the room, it is naturally dark, but not so much as not to see anything.
Two girls sat at the table and ordered sushi. The waitress first brought them wrapped white towels and sauce. Then he carries a canvas with the soil itself and sees the picture...
These two beautiful women swallowed into their mouth sauce-wrapped towels and chewed them hard.
Girls: Something sushi you have some tough.

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №43945
 03.03.2011
From the news about the robbery of a bank for 200 million rubles: "The crime favoured literally everything. The bank window grid was signed from the inside. Alarm is turned off. The guards were near the door and did not suspect the crime committed at the other end of the building until the associated cashers were able to free themselves and call for help. The VAZ-2107 robbers managed to park in the only corner that does not fall into the video surveillance zone. The robbery was not even hindered by the fact that the building of the VVD of Vladikavkaz is 100 meters from the bank." (c) tape

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №43944
 03.03.2011
at work inspection, labor inspection... wrote a prescription- "remove from work gen. Director and head of TV in connection with the unpassed instruction on TV" :))
The director returned home, happy.

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43943
 03.03.2011
Girls, they don’t care about your inner world. Learn to cook and cook.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №43942
 03.03.2011
Hi, what are you doing?
I am collecting the telescope.
Q: Is it for you?! to
Are you not a romantic?
Q: What are you fucking?! to
Okay, let’s go another way.
WOW: I’m gathering this shit to keep an eye on the fight that hit us in 2012
OhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhWill you see?

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №43941
 03.03.2011
I will sell the original Pyma crosses immediately!
Yyy: Are the Abibas original?:D

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №43940
 03.03.2011
Dad and daughter are watching the news. It is about the space station "Leonardo". and Dad:
It is named after the ninja turtle.
The six-year-old daughter is surprised.
You are Dad. It is either in honor of Leonardo da Vinci or in honor of Leonardo DiCaprio.

[ + 105 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43939
 03.03.2011
As you all listen, you don’t do anything at work.
Fuck, where are you working? What, fucking, are these companies whose employees do not do any heroes? Because you get money?

No free vacancies?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №43938
 03.03.2011
The poor pay twice, and the ugly does not pay at all.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №43937
 03.03.2011
Meaning of life
When I was eight years old, something shot me in the head and I approached my father with a simple question, “Daddy, what is the meaning of life?”
The Father:
What do you think is the meaning of your life?
Good to learn, to listen to parents... but...
This is all right, but we did not give you birth for the same reason.
He only studied well, listened to us, grew up, became old and died. If so,
There was no need to be born.
The meaning of a man’s life is to do something that did not exist before he was born. Do you understand?
How did it not exist? Before I was born, I was not on earth.
There was only me, and everything else was.
This is what you have to create with your hands and your head throughout your life.
Something, though small, but something that was not before you and then yours.
Life makes sense, you know?

I went into thought, but I didn’t understand it until the end.
My father was silent with me for a while, and suddenly he stumbled upon me and began to give short orders. I realized that my dad had planned some horrible adventure, running around the apartment pulling what he was asking: here is my designer and pieces of foam, a pump hose, a knife, scissors, wooden scissors and even my mom’s nail lacquer.

Two hours later, my dad and I built a strange half-meter carat with propellers and even wrote my name on it.
Half an hour later we were already rushing somewhere on the big, I proudly sat on my shoulder, carefully pressing our "carat".
The cold autumn lake.
The rain rained, the wind swept the yellow leaves through the water.
“Daddy, why did we come here with this thing and why do we need it at all?
“Son, look around: autumn, cold wind, rain, everything here.
It looks exactly like it was hundreds of millions of years before you were born.
But here you were born and with my help, you created something that you didn’t.
It existed nowhere: not only on earth, but in the whole universe. Turn to
Attention: The wind blows and chases the leaves to us through the water. It was so in everything.
time and here you drop this stuff on the water... drop it, drop it, don’t
Be afraid...
I carefully put our caracati in the lake, she suddenly turned out by herself, wrapped with a propeller and boycotted away from us.
The wind!! to
The Father:
You see, this thing is the only thing in the universe that blows on.
The wind, and it floats against it.
I stood open my mouth for a long time and looked into the "not obeying" laws of nature, floating catamaran with my name and it seems - a lot then understood...

Thirty five years have passed since then. Epochs were dying, life was unrealistically changed, there were: the Internet, "gadgets", "widgets" and "devices", but suddenly, my seven-year-old son overwhelmed me with the question: "Dad, what is the meaning of life? »

Apparently waiting for the early spring, when the ice is melting on the lake, we will collect pieces of foam, plates, boulders, tools, mother's nail lacquer, sit with my son on the floor in the middle of the room... and no "devices" will help here.

It’s not easy to be a good father, but you have to...

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №43936
 03.03.2011
The best sex with someone with whom is good and without sex.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №43935
 03.03.2011
vordzer(16:09:54)
Necrophilia is not prohibited by law.
Thoughts (16:09:59)
Yes to?! to
Thoughts (16:10)
Aahahahahahahahahahahahahahah! to
Service Message (16:10:28)
Not on the network.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №43934
 03.03.2011
Trying to watch "the king speaks" in the single-heads translation of the famous disgusting uncle, she got a double pleasure, in the sense that not only the king, but also his wife, his brother, ministers, consuls and the whole row of his majesty.

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №43933
 03.03.2011
The students at the courses today gave:
Treat a girl carefully, like a tree tree.
Cut and take home?

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