In the media like publications about doctors-"hackers" type to me one "known" told me that doctors extortion money from him. Real history: A case in a traumatological department. A woman comes in with a bouquet of flowers, approaches the doctor and says:

Happy Birthday Doctor!

I have my birthday in three months.

They began to find out, it turned out that in the male room patients wanted to drink, and there was no money! So they came up telling their wives to bring 3 rubles for a gift to the doctor. And if it wasn’t the woman with flowers, then all relatives and loved ones would consider the doctor a “pickupper.”

I received another SMS with advertising for a taxi service. I said, “You’re not tired of doing this stuff?” He replied, “I’m tired, but I want to eat.” I am so sorry for them (

I donated blood from a vein today. I came to the opening. There is no one, beauty. I sat down at the table, stretched out my hand and waited for my papers to be cleared, my eyes clinged. The process began: my hand was compressed into my fist, I was burned, the needle within me. Unfortunately, there is no blood. The lab worker jokingly called me greedy and that I’m sorry even to fill the table. And so it will be, ohhhh, but... there is no effect. After a minute's stay and unsuccessful excavation, the lab worker decided that another vein was needed. And at that moment I turned to her and whispered in a half-tree: "So can they burn off?" Then I heard something like “Oh, thank you.” The fire was removed, the process went, 7:15 at the time. and good morning :)

xxx: On the radio just: "Inkassator disappeared with four million rubles..."
Yyy: It is obviously a shock that there is such a sum of money. Therefore, all the falls with slopes from the head fled.

...or you are a Barbie doll smashed, crushed and on wild spikes, or a wreck in a bag of potatoes, unwashed and unchessed.
Not the average option, right?

Just people who have enough mind for the average option in such clashes do not participate.

In the course of the fourth, my neighbor in the community was planning to marry a promising young man. True, the reasoning about his life was very specific and sometimes stumbling, and the manner of behavior is strange, but she wrote it to him such an unusual sense of humor.

In general, it turns out he has no sense of humor, he is just crazy. Natural, in a medical sense, with disability and bulky attacks a couple of times a year. It was discovered almost by chance at the threshold of the Zagsa.

In general, the story is long, but to men who are said to be with a sense of humor, I treat with suspicion. Sorry, dear people, thank you for all this smoke.

I worked in an epic brick factory.
In the morning I went to the mode of extreme laziness, and decided to go to work for a taxi.
I ordered, a young man came, took me. We go down the trail, normally, under 80 km.
And here, right in front of us, some fool begins to slow down sharply. It takes it, in general, capitally. He first turns 180 through his right shoulder, dying at this point for a second. Then it starts to spin further, it rolls, say, to 300, and from this position it moves sharply to the right and back, knocking his ass into the side of the car to the right of us. We walk around it just a little swinging to the left, and we move on. And all this almost without slowing down the speed.
We sit with a guide on the side, and he says, “What a day!”
And I will echo him: “What a wonderful day!”"
Mad Max is on the side and jealous. Real rage on the roads of Moscow.

I work in the mountains. hospital admin, the usual call to the printer. He went to settle, the head of the hospital and the investigator talked about the patient's death on the eve, then the dialogue:

The Leader:

The patient went unconscious, an hour after hospitalization, the patient died. Tests confirmed that the patient died of ethanol poisoning.

The detective with a thoughtful look rubbing his beard:

Did he get poisoned? Let’s look... let’s look...

The gift of speech disappeared not only from the leader, but also from me.

Better late than never.
Dear Father Christmas. Please take away from the humorous resource all the nasty fools turning it into a forum and give them to the grandfather Satan.
My Uncle Fedor.

Baby, what else do you have there? In my classmates, I have already won all of my...

I recently took my cat for castration. Everything went well, the veterinarian took the senseless animal out of the operating room (still under anesthesia) and sat down in the reception room to fill the journal.

Ask: What is the name of your cat?

Fidel Castro is now Castro.

I hadn’t expected such a roar...

He called me unique and unique. He said, “You’re a bitch that doesn’t happen.”

- The cat on the roasted goose was very excited, we ate. She still licked her hands for a long time after the oesthrine, but I didn't give her the oesthrine - I was afraid that it would be harmful to her.

Yes, it is very harmful for the cat! The cat’s mouth is shaken.

We are even better:

In our organization, Sisadmin is an important one - he looks at everyone from above, walks on the pavilion, screams at users like a droph. He was on vacation and I wanted to replace him. He has a job, I will tell you, not to lie down. In two weeks changed the dead keyboard and the router once restarted. Well, in the server mouse capture from mice freed. That’s all his job! As a lawyer, I did it. Where did the admin have so many ponts?

In our organization, the lawyer is such an important one - he looks at everyone from above, walks on the pavilion, speaks to no one. She went on vacation, and I called to replace her. She’s at work, I’ll tell you, not lying down. In two weeks took from the reception room 4 letters and 10 times by telephone answered that, according to the provisions on the claim work, the period for consideration of the claim is 30 days. There were flowers in the office. That’s all her job! I, Sysadmin, and I did it! Where does the lawyer get so many points?

I was looking for poetry for my daughter. The pony she loves. So Yandex in the search line for "poems about pony..." helpfully wrote: "...mania between a man and a woman".

How about a parachute jump? What feelings? The adrenaline?
Well, when I get SMS from the bank for a loan, I’m worried.

A: I did solve the problem of approximation of distortion))))
A: The Spray
A: but for the time being curved/cossy, and it cannot be described in the article
B: Spline in mathematics as an isolant in technicians))) Look steep, but it works. somehow...

I need more boredom:
A bit of boredom:
In our organization, Sisadmin is an important one - he looks at everyone from above, walks on the pavilion, screams at users like a droph. He was on vacation and I wanted to replace him. He has a job, I will tell you, not to lie down. In two weeks changed the dead keyboard and the router once restarted. Well, in the server mouse capture from mice freed. That’s all his job! As a lawyer, I did it. Where did the admin have so many ponts?

The fact that he now has such a job suggests that he had to get well at the beginning, when establishing a stable network.

Something I doubt that the administrator, transferred the work to an employee who has no idea about his work... Maybe he just asked the flowers to water while he is away?
Check question: have you given at least one admin password from at least one server?

My girlfriend has a cold and a nose. During the sex she said, “Tdush me!” Like the Swan of Winnie Pooh. I couldn’t go any further, I was roaring all night :D

Yesterday, when the alarm sounded, instead of the usual thoughts about work and the upcoming day, the phrase clearly sounded in my head: "The guys prepared so much, the dream was rehearsed, if I wake up now and don't look at it, it will be somehow ignorant." Convinced of this impeccable argument, he turned off the alarm and turned to the other side to examine the dream.