bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №108370
 20.01.2015
>> I live in a big city, in a bedroom.

It was not immediately apparent that it was not a tourist equipment at all.


[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №108369
 20.01.2015
The serpent there hinted on Newton in the spirit of "a wise man knocked an apple on a mole - he and discovered the law of world gravitation", and Martyshka accused the law and the wise man in the end that she was filled with coconut coconut. Even there someone argued how the law "closed back".
— — —
In the cartoon built a very logical chain of judgments, based on true original theses and insufficient education. Once "opened", then "closed" is also possible. What anyway? This is definitely a reversible process within the framework in which the characters of the Multa were familiar with this word. To see them there in Africa are not strongly vaporized with the formation of all kinds of martyrs. In Russia, they are already on the Internet.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №108368
 20.01.2015
In addition, the refugees (believe me, none of them agree with Yatsenyuk) take the Russian language exam. Guess how many Russians would not give him up.

All Russians pass an echamen in Russian at the end of school.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №108367
 20.01.2015
1:... the song is named "Popeye" and contains non-normative vocabulary.
It would be surprising if she did not contain this vocabulary with such a name.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №108366
 20.01.2015
The female logic. The female compassion. Today in the office.
Give me a puppy.
I don’t need a poppy.
and singing. The Poet. Two r
The cat will eat.
The cat will eat.

[ + 38 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108365
 19.01.2015
The Author:
Tram stop late in the evening. At the stop glamorous some guy and herla, three meters from the stop stands a cloudy bearded guy of a biker type. The beard smokes. The glamorous type decides to whisper on this topic, the type of mess and shame.
Browning: There is no such law. Go to Nash.
Glamour: There is such a law! You do not have the right to public blabla!
OK, there is such a law. Go to Nash.
_____
Yes, in our country it was always in honor, and sending someone to you is a reason for admiration and joyful approval...

[ + 32 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108364
 19.01.2015
The Advertisement.
Ukraine is sold in a state of emergency. Without Crimea, without Donbass, without heating (there is no gas, there is no coal), electrical wiring in poor condition (the nuclear power plant is on the brink of a stop), the floors are opened (the shale gas was sought), the roof was demolished a year ago. Refunded 42 million A person (a temporary license, part has already expired, the rest will not last too long).
can be destroyed.
Proposals to send to poroshenko(dog)ua


[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №108363
 19.01.2015
I read the joke:
I asked Yandex "Where is my favorite?"
Two hundred porn sites gave me a window.
decided to try.
"Check your internet connection" Yandex told me. There, and there is a breakdown.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №108362
 19.01.2015
In the United States, a zombie hunter injured a black policeman.

In the house of the shooter authorities found several guns and equipment for the case of the zombie apocalypse, and on the door of the shooter hanged a sign "Certified Zombie Hunter".

It is certified!!! ))))

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №108361
 19.01.2015
With GickTimes:

Sometimes it seems to me that marketing is an absolute evil, and it should be banned altogether, like the slave trade. Or, at least, strictly limit it to a purely passive role - market research, etc. And any manipulation of price, packaging, “actions”, “discount” equate to robbery and rape.

I don’t understand why you’re so upset with slave trade that you equate it to marketing?

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №108360
 19.01.2015
It is also noted that Russians, speaking to each other in Russian, threaten the Latvian language and express disrespect for Latvians.

Now it is clear why Pushkin wrote in Russian! He hated the Latvians.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №108359
 19.01.2015
From comments to the article "Angara’ on the “Sea Start”":

XXX: So I already presented the news. Somali pirates have seized the platform “Sea Start” and do not know what to do with it in connection with this Somalia is now a space power. He threatens to capture the ISS.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №108358
 19.01.2015
TATKA: Okay, I was doing two washers together in the washing machine. So one of them swallowed the other.
AleK's: Cannibalism though!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №108357
 19.01.2015
xxx: "If your program worked from the first time, contact the system programmer - he will fix the compiler error."
xxx: Generally speaking, SjASM for Z80 does not compile structures without labels.
XXX: But it’s for everyone. I have a compilation now.
YYY: Did you fix the compiler because it doesn’t compile what you want? It is beautiful!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №108356
 19.01.2015
The great take criticism as an instruction, the poor as an insult.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №108355
 19.01.2015
The geologist Andrei and the chicken Raba.

Geologist Andrew came to our village for a visit. To a father with a mother, as it relies on a good son on vacation. Close the roof, cut the wood, fix the chicken, walk with the girls, let’s say, on the senovale... However, for the last apologize – it broke out. The girls have nothing to do with it. Girls are a different issue, it’s about parents. Andrei is old, but weak. My father is still somewhere with the girls.

What such thing. All the girls get in hand. And I wanted about Andrew, about his parents - an old man with an old lady and about the chicken Raba. and milk.

Andryucha in his geological party this summer found a samurai. and heavy. It is similar to a chicken egg. They even thought at first that this trouble was of human origin. That in ancient times, that is, even before the revolution, the carpenter had accumulated gold, with an unknown purpose put out the egg, and then lost it. Maybe hidden and forgotten.

But after examining the egg under a microscope, and checking with other instruments, they decided that this nature was surprised. This is the case with gold.

And then Andrew went on a small violation, as the boss. He agreed with his own that he would take this egg with him, go to his parents, and then take it to Moscow and hand it over to the chief academician of samorodki, with whom he studied. To record this discovery and write a dissertation. You can also go to the academy. After the dissertation, the matter is clear.

And here the chicken fixes Andrew, and around the golden egg the thoughts of harm turn. I think I’ll joke about my parents. I'll make them a real chicken rooster in real life. I thought and decided. Little decided, and the self-made pulled out of his pocket and ran straight to his father and mother. stupid, it is not a clever thing.

He walked into the cellar, as if he was struck. Look, he says, dear parents, that your chickens have just gone away. Eggs on the table. Almost the oak table has not broken, the burden is healing. One and a half kilograms of eggs pull and Andrewhin's fist and three more. He is healthy with his father. Species is such.

Of course the parents got worse. My father took his glasses out of the box. I looked at her mother. And what it stretches out, he knows that Andrew's mother can still put a thread in the needle without any glasses. have looked.

“Yes, Dad,” said Mom, “is strange. I have never seen that. I haven’t seen it, I haven’t even heard it in the fairy tales.

- That is, mother, - supports her father, hiding the glasses in the box, - a nonsense. Andrusha, you need to go to the Academy of Sciences in Moscow. Everyone should know about such an event. And without delay.

“Yes, I’m just going, and Andrew doesn’t lie at all, to the chief academic in gold metals.

Why the metal, Andrew? - You are surprised by the father, - you need to go to the chief cock academy.

Is there a cock here, Dad? And Andrew is surprised.

Everyone has heard that eggs are golden. This is a story about the chicken. But that cockroaches carry eggs is, you know, an unusual thing. My mother and I bought the broiler for this summer. The cockroaches are alone. The cockroaches there, Andrusha, Pe-tu-hi So you, the parent continues, go to the academy. Just finish the roof, cover the roof and ride once you need to.

And he said to Andrew the helmet. and right. Don’t joke about your parents. Where do you see the cockroaches, right? At least gold eggs for a kilogram and a half. I am a storyteller too.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №108354
 19.01.2015
No matter how bullish the bull is, there is a stamp on the bank!! to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №108353
 19.01.2015
to this:
I thought how funny it would be if, by analogy with meters and feet, there was a difference in this too. There would be bear forces in Russia, horse forces in the United States, elephants in India, and camels in Egypt, and slaves in ancient Egypt.

And in the Vatican, probably by analogy, all would be measured by the Heavenly Forces.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №108352
 19.01.2015
The owners of the British TV channel Channel 4 are outraged: the number of homosexuals among employees does not exceed two percent, while the national average is three times higher. Now they require the TV channel in the next five years to increase the number of non-traditionally oriented to the level of 6%:

xxxxxxxxxxx:
It seems, I guess, how on this TV channel will now be punished guilty employees...

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108351
 19.01.2015
xxx: My husband loves to re-watch the film, remembering his childhood. There is about ants-killer, sharks, asses, snakes, spiders-killers. Looking at the new about the tornado of sharks-killers and zombies-bobs-killers. But the latter he doesn’t like very much – says "no soul"...
Zzz: Well, it’s all coming together... zombies...they have no soul, yes.

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