bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №108170
 14.01.2015
Begin the army!
Name at least one Russian leader who served in the army.
Colonel Brezhnev, Colonel Nikolai Romanov and a member of the military councils Khrushchev are not counted. It is not trouble. It is needed for those who pulled the soldier's blade and smelled the powder.
— — —
Suddenly: Brezhnev in 1935-1936 served in the army: a curator and political truck of the tank company in Zabajkalya (Peschanka village 15 km southeast of the city of Chita). He studied at the courses of motorization and mechanization of the Red Army, at the end of which he received his first officer's title - lieutenant.
Khrushchev fought in 1918-1919: first in the Donbass, against Kaledin, then on the Tsaritsynsk front.
We only know them already on more solid positions.

Nevertheless, I sincerely believe that military affairs in the 21st century are a job for professionals, and those who have chosen another job should undergo short courses (for example, a couple of months after 10th grade and repeat another 2-3 times with an interval of 3-4 years) to know how, in case of urgent mobilization, to burn out uniforms, load weapons and proceed to the place of collection. Two-year (now, thank you, one-year) living in a barracks, mocking the barracks and other army fun is a banal budget settlement and waste of time.

[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108169
 14.01.2015
The life hacker:
Girls be clever. I am categorically against kissing with a drunk husband, I don't drink myself, but I let go to meet up with friends without problems. I only go to bed in a circular shirt and I do not allow him to stick to me if he is with a scarring. He was tormented a couple of times, then began to come awake and early. And that’s his choice, by the way. The Profit.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
This is pure water terrorism XD

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №108168
 14.01.2015
And our boss has a picture on the page with a bark and the inscription "I want to drop everything, take the cat and get into the fog."

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №108167
 14.01.2015
Mishana, hello to you! I want to put a new battery in the car alarm, can you help me adjust the time later?
Change the battery at midnight.
It is genius! What only a Russian man will not invent to not read the manual!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №108166
 14.01.2015
We have a neighbor on the ground. All of this is so off-road! On the back of the label: "I sit where wolves are afraid"
It is not a lie. A rare wolf will decide to fuck on the crowded roads in the city center.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №108165
 14.01.2015
Why a non-working woman is called a housewife, and not a working man is called unemployed.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №108164
 14.01.2015
Alexey Lindberg: When the brain of a person meets genta and ikaya together, strange things happen to him... I just yesterday reassembled the couch

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №108163
 14.01.2015
Two boys on the bus are talking to one of them. The man whose girlfriend:
She reminds me of Shrek.
The second:
and Fiona?
No one, the dragon!
So what are you, oak?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №108162
 14.01.2015
Factories standing, 16290
The man! A hobby is what people do in their free time. and standing. so to say, in the factory and in need of a change of activity (well we are arranged so that the best rest when you don't sleep is some other thing that moves blood through the veins and creates new neural chains)
Where did I get so much poison?
Until you are aggressively invoked into the sect - how do you personally treat someone else's cooking, bicycle, photography etc?
Factories are not standing, so don’t argue.
With new happiness to you, tired of other people’s affairs :)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №108161
 14.01.2015
Realkok: News of intercultural communication : in the suburb of Moscow, a girl infected with HIV of three gastarbayters who raped her

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №108160
 14.01.2015
There appeared in our country farm a walk for other people's crops, and the question of how to save what was grown with hard work arose sharply. Well, I had to assemble a simple device of noise effect on the thief.
On the corner of the door in the greenhouse stretched the wires from the twisted pair, and at the end hanged a lamp, not a simple but with broken glass and inserted into the usual petard. At the other end, he hung a crown with a switch in the form of a lingerie plug and a band cut out of a bottle.
The miracle worked simply. The loop was tied to a thin leash across the entrance, when strained, the loop jumped out, the chain closed, the petard burned.
Practice has shown that after an unexpected cotton hunt to tear tomatoes disappears.
P.S It is better to hang 2-3 petards so that it works exactly. The power of the petard also matters.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №108159
 14.01.2015
I watched "Flight from Prison". First season, eighth series. At the beginning of planning the escape, only one guy knew about the escape, now six people. Sixteen more series. I don’t know if they’ll run out of prison at the end.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №108158
 14.01.2015
The quote:
The Ministry of Defense of Ukraine says that there are attempts by provocators to spy mobilized military personnel near military commissariates.
This was announced by the first deputy head of the main department of defense and mobilization planning of the General Staff Vladimir Talalay.
According to him, in the places where the collection and dispatch of military personnel is carried out, groups of so-called military relatives appear, which aggravate the situation and destabilize the situation.
At the same time, together with them, shoulder to shoulder working groups (provocators) who try to spy, giving free alcoholic beverages to military servicemen, and thus bringing them into a state of impossibility to perform tasks.

Best comment from Coral:

I will all come home after drinking, and I will tell my wife immediately that they are provocators. If I can speak. And I will also require to call me not drunk, but in the "state of impossibility to perform tasks" ;D

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №108157
 14.01.2015
This is))

The same problem with the socks, only now I am an adult man, and I was charged with black.

What about these socks, dirty racist?! to

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №108156
 14.01.2015
>hhh: My gastrointestinal TV is 5 years old.

SKcorp.> The gastrointestinal TV is a gastroscope.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №108155
 14.01.2015
Bild: American sociologist Iwon Rossdale, came to the conclusion that full-breasted women are smarter.
The Twins. Especially the one who looked at it.
+++++++++++++

Believe me, young stretched dwarfs will attract much more attention than your cherries. And if we talk about mature women, then your main argument about pulling the collective houses to torpedoes and your holy confidence that you are not threatened, breaks into a harsh reality. Those who have given birth and fed the cherries can be so bored that you can't look without tears. Worse than the ears of a spaniel can only be pockets from a shirt.
==== is
Oh, how cool and unobtrusive are the services of plastic surgeons! Have fun with the fire!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №108154
 14.01.2015
Medications that are prohibited from driving for obvious reasons

= = = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is
Name of drugs where can I find out? Google does not know.

— — —

And what exactly do you need, from impotence or for breast growth? I hope, anyway, the first) But in any case - consult your doctor first) I read (first link to Google):

Viagra is
Side Actions :
Headache, blood flow to the face, dizziness, dyspepsia, nasal congestion, visual impairment (change of color of objects (blue/green), increased perception of light, impaired clarity of vision).

Yes, you can’t drive with such sideways. They sit down, because. I need to take it for an hour - "what do I have there with her, an hour in the car in front of the house?" and "just until I get there". Here you are preparing a person for amputation, because his leg is similar to a crochet and evenly distributed throughout the salon, and he does not understand everything - "what is wrong?";

You are not even able to google, that is, talk about the instructions to read and think about the consequences. And then I have to write all kinds of cultural shit in your medical card, and not an honest "dollboy". And well, if I - in the card, not a colleague - the certificate of your death to fill. When people understand that another pill is serious. Do not regret other people’s lives, regret your own.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №108153
 14.01.2015
Remember the forgotten truth:
Breasts are different, breasts are different. And for women to water each other’s shit because of who thinks they are the best is nonsense at all. As they grew up, so they will be useful. And a man, of course, will find any. For those who find it hard to find, there is no cabbage in the breasts.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №108152
 14.01.2015
I want to go to the Philippines... They even have cities called beautiful... Manila is a manic!

YYY : Hm In Lenoblast there is a village called Pearl, do you want?

XXX: The chat doesn’t manipulate the ninja.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №108151
 14.01.2015
The car manager wanted to start the case.
But it didn’t happen (
c) the record

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna