The whole depth of life can only be understood by descending to its very bottom.

My life developed in such a way that for many years the homeland militia did not touch my Russian passport with its vigilant gaze, and the rest was a pofig.
I then lived abroad, then I flew there on direct flights, completely forgetting where my Russian passport dusted – I was paid and so on.
But one day I was convinced to return from the United States to Vladivostok through
Moscow, and I took this passport with me. It was a terrible time when residential houses were torn apart in Moscow, and in Sheremetyevo-2 under the guise of taxi drivers, continuous copters were being held up. The bandits harder captured the prospective victims with an experienced eye at the exit of the plane.
I was the perfect victim – I was flying alone with a large collection of pale-green portraits of George Washington in my pocket.
I had no doubt that on my open intellectual face this sum would be printed with the biggest letters.

Having considered the situation, I decided to cut under the proletariat.
Even in Houston, I bought contact lenses that I could not tolerate before, I dressed in everything black and dull, including a rubbed leather cap, and two days before the flight I stopped shaving. Day of transfer to
Atlanta and at night at JFK completed my entrance into the image – instead of an unspinal thoughtful intelligent on the plane’s staircase descended a browned pepper with no traces of even middle education on the face. No taxi driver looked at me – apparently, they admitted to me. I passed through this steep arms crowd like a neutrinos and arrived on a micrico in the
Sheraton 1 without any problems. Problems began when landing on the Vladivostok flight.

The bride from where the police took in such a number took me under white hands into a separate room and asked me to present a passport.
When looking at his title page, the police began to rust, without words, pointing to me with the finger, then to the photo in the passport, then to the mirror. “I had to stick a picture for 25 years,” I thought.

From school photography, I was touchingly looked at by a naive, light-eyed, never kissed glasses-excellent man, from whose eyes all Russian literature shone in contrast with world science. And from the mirror, I was crushed to death, burning under the Texas sun, thickly grown with a black scarf, a completely Chechen face in a black hat. Under the strong lenses in the room the pupils expanded and seemed coal-black, the eyes sparkly shone - I was late for the flight.
They were the eyes of a man who has seen everything in his life, but will never give up his bomb.

Quite soon I became clear that this flight I do not get to Vladik - my city has already slept, the time for inspections and disassembly will come later.
I had nowhere to hurry. The hell makes me joke not in time in a stressful situation. I wandered wide and curved straight into the face of the native militia, revealing a long row of wolf-like white teeth with steel and gold crowns on the periphery, and unexpectedly pronounced with the Caucasian throat accent that had just come from:

“It doesn’t look like, right?”

Holidays in Turkey.
The Germans get up at five in the morning to put their towels on the lounges, then go to sleep, rest, walk.
Russians usually get up at three o’clock in the day, go to the loungers and think, “What a cool service in Turkey – loungers with German towels!”

News title: Man accuses a cat of downloading child pornography

I am sitting and writing a proga on the assembler (I am writing 5 hours) and suddenly the blood from my nose flowed, and I was scared to think that the mosquito began to flow out.

I worked as a disc dealer for a month.
Here are the top 5 most ridiculous purchasing questions:

What is this erotic movie about?
Does this disk work?
Can I buy this disc?
Will my computer pull this game?
Is it a license? (Compilation 14v1 for 19 rubles)

The status of the girl: I saw today a guy who has a bag like me...I probably don’t understand something.

[18:27:12] <unytik> We still had a very fairy character in one of the parties
[18:27:28] <unique> he broke the time machine, returned to the past and fucking his mother became his father
[18:27:52] <unique> after which he was born, grew up, changed gender and returned to the past, there found himself who was to fuck his mother, and fuck him
[18:27:59] <unity> and gave birth to himself from himself
[18:28:11] <VarLog> :·D
[18:28:59] <unique> my mother sometimes asked: "Your friends are not addicts?" And I remembered such cases and didn’t even know what to answer.

There are a couple of "illuminated":
Tell me, do you believe in God?
I am :
Asking a man about faith is as unclear as asking a man about a morning chair. Here you, young man, how did you go down in the morning - hard, liquid, or rolls?
They were teleported.

XXX: No, I have a strong prejudice to Samsung
I had three Samsung smartphones, none lasted for more than a year.
WOW: Well I don’t know. I have been smelling for five years, despite bullying and humiliation.
Fuck, they are masochists. We should be humiliated and insulted.

My younger brother burned the day. He writes in aska:
B: Today in the bathroom almost died of fear, - I sit, I struggle... and here in the toilet it started to blink... I look, and there the mouse is swimming! Oh, I’m in panic, let’s scream and wash it.
I’m on fire ?))
B: You are funny.
The mouse may not be able to get away.)
After this breakdown)
Pick up - you pop up and here shit, water, scream, ass... and you are washed up)))
Injury to a mouse

After the concert of aria 25 years in the closet as usual confusion one wardrobe maker passes the number to another with the words now will fit such a hairy...

st. The lieutenant of the Zaytsev militia, A.N.G. Velija, proved that in the ranks of the Gibdd there are not only pidos, but also bisexuals, bringing a wife to the corporate.

Did you call Diane?
YYY: No
XXX: What did he say?

Details of the news:
In Ukraine takes place the action "Take a candle"
In Kiev for a night burned 5 cars.

Has anyone understood the essence of action? O_O

Li: and why my boyfriend is not a vampire (
Mari: Oh wow...
And why I don’t have a girlfriend in me.

I’m standing in the shop looking for a hat, I doubt. Here an elderly saleswoman approaches, and so approvingly - "O, cow, cow!". I even coughed at first, I think the old lady in anonymous slang rolls. Then I remembered that I was in Japan for the second day. and silence.

c) Lyolka

XXX: He’s so dumb that if you give him a tape of Mobius, he’ll go through it to the end!

Cherry: At first you cracked me.
But then you got the ticks! :)

And my girlfriend and I broke up after 11 months of dating so as not to give a birthday gift. Am I a troll?
You are dumb