bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №60753
 29.02.2012
l0sb: Starlight is distorted as you approach the black hole horizon. First, they get red as photons try to overcome the black hole’s strongest gravitational field that stretches the wavelength of light. But since you fall almost at the speed of light, this effect is compensated by the Doppler effect, returning it blue. From the center of the black hole, the entire universe looks like a bright ring around.
Hen41k: my grandmother in the colloquial home so the TV on4aecca

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №60752
 29.02.2012
Can you take a shot and send me a photo? and :)
I can not.
Why is?! to
I don’t have a carpet at home.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №60751
 29.02.2012
Xhhh - saw, not so long ago on the discovery began to roll up the current advertisement?
WOW – what exactly?
XHH - real offenders - from Monday, March 5th.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №60750
 29.02.2012
I went. I looked in the mirror. He said "I am a brutal alpha samurai". Three clever toy lambs on a T-shirt looked at me as if they were their own.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №60749
 29.02.2012
For others, mild brain shock contributes to increased intelligence.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №60748
 29.02.2012
On the TV show "Big Policy with Yevgeny Kiselyov" (Ukraine), the studio, in full seriousness, discussed the new schemes of Sergei Mavrodi together with him in direct broadcast. Dmitry Golubov, founder and leader of the "Internet of the Party of Ukraine". He asks him.
Q: Are you such a lonely computer Robin Hood in the fight against the world’s evil in the person of Sergei Mavrodi?
G is no. Many people from different countries help me, because they know who Mavrodi is.
Q: What about Ukrainian politicians?
So far only advice.
Q: Why just advice?
G: I do not know. I want to address all Ukrainian politicians and say that if you do not stop this man, he will steal all the money that you should steal from us!

Applause of the hall.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №60747
 29.02.2012
“Pasha, how many women did you have before me?
Today or at all?

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №60746
 29.02.2012
When I become an old woman, I will troll the youth. I’ll go out at 6 o’clock in the morning, take the public transport and go to the end, and then back!

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №60745
 29.02.2012
You broke everything...
"I fell in love.... cared for a girl with all possible cute "nishties". He turned around just to like her. And here is her final answer: "You are too perfect!!! And I am simple, you know, simple".
Question: Do I not understand something in life? Or am I an idiot?(Response "Yes" is not accepted :-))"

Don’t go crazy! Just she doesn’t like you purely outwardly, but she didn’t want to give up the threads, so she’d mocked you for so long, and you’re too good – it’s just revenge.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №60744
 29.02.2012
From the online game forum:

XXX: So the situation is like this, I and my broom made a lock between the houses.
List Plise, what are the games for the network??? If possible with a description.

YYY: There is one, interesting and funny!!! to

"Who has whose computer will drag" is called.
In short, take the network cable and pull, wins the one - who has 2 comp will stay on hand!

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №60743
 29.02.2012
One day my unhappy pet was injured. The doctor ordered to lubricate the wound with a gel, and on the neck of the cat to wear a "vronka". She initially behaved as usual when she was dressed in a collar: first passive resistance (falling on the side), then a reproachable look, then attempts to remove herself. The attempts were interrupted, so that the cousin sat sadly in his "voronke" and breathed. She also liked to show us how uncomfortable she was and what evildoers we were – showing how difficult it was for her to walk, building a pleasant mouthpiece, stumbling on crutches. He stumbles and stands, and looks insulted. Then I realized that we would not stop tormenting her, and started moving in the collar. The funniest thing was to watch her eat in this collar: by bending her head down, she completely covers the bowl with the collar and squeezes food in this "head shelter".)

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №60742
 29.02.2012
Why did you buy coffee?
Tomorrow at 5 a.m. I will want two things: coffee and killing.
Yyy: and if I can’t kill, I’ll drink coffee.

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №60741
 29.02.2012
I stand somewhere in the kiosk, I wait for my turn, a guy in a military shirt buys cigarettes, and without leaving the window unfolds a package, and I will not understand everything he bought or not, well, I ask:
Are you everything?
He is me:
So exactly! ?! to
Then it turns, pauses and...
I am a job!

[ + 49 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №60740
 29.02.2012
The 3.5 year old son (C) is watching the cartoon, the next is just beginning:
C: Mom, about whom is it?
I: About the grey neck.
C: About whom?
I am (unfortunately) about the cloth that broke the wing.
Q: Who was broken?

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №60739
 29.02.2012
Picture: "I came to the guy for a rehearsal - pretended to like"
The comment:
So I got married. :D

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №60738
 29.02.2012
The story was remembered when in his youth in the early 1990s he worked at the bread mixer. The workers plundered bread for livestock food, and the director fought in vain with this phenomenon in every way.
And here somehow - at midnight, at the end of the evening shift, the aunts slapped the bags with puddles (a dozen fresh puddles enter the bag if they are splashed), and here suddenly the police bowl passing by includes flashes, a sirene for a few seconds, and then in the matyugalnik on the whole street announces: "City, don't P#ZDITE BLOOD!"

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №60737
 29.02.2012
It was cold and we arrived at our IT department. Our Sisadmin printed empty leaves and heated their hands :D

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №60736
 29.02.2012
The news says that scientists have excavated in the eternal frost a seed that has been laying for 31 thousand years, and it has grown and bloomed!
YYY: Didn’t you find the white there?

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №60735
 29.02.2012
This is what he is, Android, mysterious. I began to figure out what process me so much battery eats. It turned out to be an indicator of battery charge.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №60734
 29.02.2012
I am tired, I want love.
When I wanted love, you wanted to play Mortal Kombat.

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