bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №107950
 10.01.2015
To all those who argue about the woods that explode in the oven:

All is described in the story of M.M. Zoshchenko "Fanging the thief in the original way", 1934-1935.

All are good.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №107949
 10.01.2015
by ASKA
Ahuli Serebrâ: Why do we constantly say toasts before taking alcohol, if they still have no magic power? At least once it was such that somebody said, “Well, let’s drink for health!” and somebody right away like, “O guys fuck me it seems like the ulcer has just passed.”

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №107948
 10.01.2015
And all because I wheeled a wheelchair, and my two sons were walking and holding their girlfriend on both sides of their hands, and I was going with them and talking about snow and winter. What hurt this woman, I don’t know.

You described the problem yourself. Usually walking moms are either built in two or three wheelchairs. Or, like you, a wheelchair and a chain of three children.
At the same time, of course, the entire sidewalk is blocked and in 90% of cases nobody even tries to give up the road.
In good weather, it doesn’t bother. But in the snow or snowfall, when it is difficult to turn away or filled with getting into dirt, such behavior is outrageous. and honestly.
I haven’t started spitting in the back yet, but who knows what will happen with age :)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №107947
 10.01.2015
[rubric "Tips and Ideas"]

X: Can you tell me how to make a lisuna?? to
Ask in the category "Dating, Love, Relationships"!! Where do the moderators look?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107946
 09.01.2015
Here is this:

here here :
<...> In order to prevent theft of wood, you can feed them, dry them and enjoy the result. The main thing is not to throw such wood into the oven.
It is...
A relative, who served in the army, said: when the neighbors began to steal wood, he started several fields with artillery powder. The robberies soon ceased due to the lack of a stove.
__________________________________
For spells that explode and spread the stove, you can sit if any of the thieves kill or shake.

Let not my wood touch, then it will not rot.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №107945
 09.01.2015
This is "the girl":
------------
I don’t know, I’m a girl with long hair, with all the scraps, lotions, shampoos, air conditioning, and “just getting hot” I’ve never been able to wrap in the bathroom for more than forty minutes. And during that time I still had time to use the shower twice or three times not for the exact purpose * if you understand what I am talking about *.

This is 100% written by a man who has reviewed porn

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №107944
 09.01.2015
So if they are going to make cars for smokers, let them do it for snoring people. Why is it that because of one fall, the whole car must suffer?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №107943
 09.01.2015
XHH: Always stunned by the arrogance of sales consultants in large perfume stores. As if Coco Chanel herself came down from the sky in a T-shirt with a badge, and in the eyes of the question: "Why do you have this paradise fragrance, for 2300 rubles, deadly? Use of soap "

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №107942
 09.01.2015
A monument to the vandals was opened. Vandals are confused.

[ + 20 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №107941
 09.01.2015
Drivers in Russia will soon no longer be able to consider other drivers as representatives of LGBT. They were forbidden to drive.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №107940
 09.01.2015
When I was 5, my grandmother, a doctor, decided to congratulate me and my younger brother on the New Year. She wore a coat, a hat. She painted her beard and beard. The green.
I stopped believing in Santa Claus.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №107939
 09.01.2015
XX: You may, and it will be funny, but as a child I passed through 9 levels of Doom II, before I learned that you can stay in the game.

[ + 36 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №107938
 09.01.2015
Chapter 16235

Students are completely upset! Tickets for the exam are available at the beginning of the semester. To make me so cold. Porro is alive! You learn everything, you read all the lectures and the whole textbook and then there is a chance to pass, because before the exam, you will not learn what is in the tickets. There is only a general program and lectures, which at the best schedule will give answers for half the ticket. And yes, you can't write off, the oral exam, bags and phones are folded when entering the audience on a separate table. I did not hand over.

And here people are upset that they are teaching on tickets and they are not given enough information. and fi :(

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107937
 09.01.2015
She is burning.
The tanks ended diesel, found gasoline... (approximate dialogue, not literally)
- our engines are not suitable (type density is not that)
violet, flooded
Kill the movements!
Add the oil and eat.
Thirty years have passed since the film was made (the niche has not changed).
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

And this was one of the requirements for designing our tanks - the ability to fuel everything that is burning. At the moment, the T-90 tank can also ride on alcohol.

--------
Who will give them!? to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №107936
 09.01.2015
DerArto: I’m 23 years old, but I’ve done a lot for this planet and for humanity as a whole. For example, I didn’t become a rapper, and that’s not for everyone!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №107935
 09.01.2015
<...> The deployment of the idea into a connected statement and its implementation occur simultaneously, in relation to which there are reservations". Deputy Chief of L.V. and coworking.
=========
Lyudmila Vladimirovna, most likely, the electricity swallowed the piss.
And this opus was composed by some sixth - look in the lower left corner, there should be a surname.
Remember the Chinese...
Years ago... Generally speaking, a long time ago there was an official dispatch in China. Graphomans from the editorial office received a letter about this content: we with unprecedented pleasure re-read your brilliant opus three times, and the entire editorial laid tears, because we can not print it. Because if His Majesty the Emperor reads this creation, he will order nothing worse than that to be printed. And since such divine works appear once every thousand years, we will simply be ruined. Sorry a thousand times, but nothing personal.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №107934
 09.01.2015
The Idealist:
If you do what you know well and like, but not for money, but for people to try, then in a year in your hairdresser for a month will be recorded, right.

In a year (and most likely much earlier) the hairdresser will close, because there will be nothing to pay rent and salary to employees. I don’t understand where the belief came from that if a man doesn’t spit on his work, he doesn’t need money. What will he drink for? And to cure? And to rest?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №107933
 09.01.2015
Well, I can paint well with my hands, and I can work in 7 design programs. I love it very much. As long as my husband was feeding, everything was fine. And after the divorce, when I began to ask for money for the job, all who were sucked and previously admired were outraged! It’s not difficult for me, it’s worth nothing, it’s a pleasure! Who pays for pleasure? Few people want to pay. There were no orders. And there was no money, so in terms of doing business it is a utopia.
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I also have a creative profession. Just while she was still a hobby, I took the rule of not painting anything to anyone just because I am not difficult and only for pleasure. And for friendship did not paint, and even as gifts for holidays. Because it is important, first of all, your own attitude to the matter. With creative professions it is always more difficult. It always seems that it is not serious and it is embarrassing to ask for money for it. So if you plan someday, not even right now, to make money with it - you need to immediately position yourself in this way. No one to paint anything on a hole, not to write, not to sew, not to paste. In no case. Unless you want it to be just a fun thing.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №107932
 09.01.2015
I was on the train yesterday. The final stop. People stood up at the exit and someone said:
They say we have already arrived in Morrowind.
Someone else was not confused and supported:
We’ll be released, that’s certain.
I got a good mood after a long journey :-)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №107931
 09.01.2015
Valery Serious: In the village, on the outskirts, they put a tower.Tolly megaphone,I don't know the line.But the local grandmothers, like one, all had a noise in their ears and the pressure rose.They began to curse the neighbor, who allowed this tower to put in his garden!It turned out that the reason for raising the pressure, there was news that he caught the good grandmothers for this!

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