bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №155942
 08.03.2021
And the maniac sat down with Putin and went out with Putin. Putin has even surpassed the maniac.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №155941
 07.03.2021
One of my friends decided to take account of his life. It appears at the beginning of November. And he told me today how he tried to implement it and changed his mind. His name is Anton. I haven’t seen him for six months. The story is short and sad. When the damned virus began to fucking our poor economy into all the cracks, his modest business in Peter broke up. Projects did not agree, potential customers jumped one after another, and already existing ones froze and did not pay for contracts. And all this humiliation hit Antoh at once, gradually driving him into a state of apathy, and then plunging him into a heavy autumn depression. They say if you look at the fire for a long time and do nothing, you will be expelled from the Emergency Service. Each week, Antosha watched his affair sink and did not do the exact nichuya for his own salvation. Thirty-year-old unloaded by the family, a non-drinking man, decided not to turn to anyone for help, but simply to get rid of life in the arms of the grey Neva. At eight o’clock Antonha walked from Ladoga to the bridge of Alexander Nevsky, taking the time to think about the road. To think of a good nihui did not work out, and the autumn Peter's Sky in no way contributes to optimism. In short, he reached the middle of the bridge and crossed the fence to do everything quickly and without thinking. Nihua quickly failed, for five minutes he stopped, and then a sharp sound of a braking car was heard behind his back. Antonha turned around and saw a toyota, from which a large body-built man jumped to him, shouting, "do not think, fool." The man turned out to be quick and strong enough to pull out and take the deceased Antonh to the car.

“Sell, dumb, fast,” he commanded and forcefully struck the suicide in the car.

After the bridge in the car was warm and comfortable. The driver was quietly driving along the coastline, and Antosha melted from the thought that human love and elementary co-participation had still remained in the people, and guessed what the mysterious savior would offer him until they arrived at the Grenadier Bridge.

The car stopped and the man finally spoke.

In short, if you want to fuck up, jump here, let the Petrograd department be responsible for you. I’ll see you again on that bridge, I’ll eat off, so that my mother won’t know. I understood? Go to Nashville.

In short, after this incident, Antocha gathered forces and thoughts, and things seemed to go to the mountain. It turned out that customers were pleased to deal with a person who was energetic and self-owned, rather than a depressed man.

[ + 28 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №155940
 07.03.2021
The foolish peoples, covering up their foolishness, fight with their neighbors.
Absolutely stupid nations are fighting all over the world.

[ + 33 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №155939
 07.03.2021
Karma

Petersky, the institute companion, often dragged me to the country. We helped his grandfather in the farm. Some rotten boards were ripped away from the house, and in their place others, just as rotten, were grabbed. Grandfather – Pavel Alekseevich, strictly controlled the process, screaming at us and we tried. My grandfather fed us well. Salo, home eggs, a bottomless barrel of fermented cabbage. For the hungry nineties, it is not bad at all.
One winter evening, my grandfather was lying on a tap, and my friend and I were throwing wood into the stove and my grandfather spoke:

I was summoned at the very end of the forty-first, brought to Leningrad, there accelerated training, such as the course of a young fighter before the front.
So, I made friends there with one guy, he himself from under Vologda, named Sasha Stepanov. I remembered the name all my life.
Service in the school we were not brought, lords, as I remember, until I don't believe that he was alive. It was even harder than it was on the front. We were feeding worse dogs, apparently stealing a lot. We didn’t complain, the Leningrad civilians lived even worse.
During the day class on combat training, at night in the warehouse the boxes were tapped, or the mountains of bricks after the bombings were dismantled.
I didn’t sleep every night. Many people were sick, almost everyone. I suffered pneumonia on my legs. Some died of hunger. Apparently, a healthy guy, blood with milk, and you look, in some two months, it's all. So what did you think? If you are almost not fed at all, but only to give hard work, and even in the barracks sometimes the water freezes, you knock your teeth in your sleep.
There was no hospital for us. I recovered – well, no – sorry.
We had a rotting boss, now I can’t remember the name. I once knew. After a slight injury, he reached us, had time to fight. He was a bad man, a bad man. We were all very afraid of him.
Imagine a company of about 150 people and almost every morning one of us didn’t wake up.
The senior approached, saw that the student died and ordered him to be thrown into the yard.
That is, naturally, they opened a window in the barracks and dropped the poor man from the second floor right into the yard. So fast that you do not drag the stairs and circles around the building. People get used to everything, we were not surprised by anything.
And here one day my friend Stepanov Sasha was seriously ill, Maybe a cold, maybe from hunger, and most likely, all at once. He was getting worse and worse every day, and was afraid to confess to the senior, could easily be shot, as a sabotage and deserter. There were cases. I helped him as I could, even from my bread.
In the morning, the chief cries: Race up!
Everyone jumped, and Stepanov lies, silent, can’t even move, but he breathes hard.
The senior saw, approached, bended and commanded us: - Open the window, take, take out!
Well, then he was picked up, pulled, and I grabbed Stepanov in the shirt, I don't let it go, I pulled back, I began to beg the senior, say how-so, Stepanov is still breathing, alive yet. Maybe wait until he dies first. The senior was angry, of course, hit me in the chest, began to scream about the failure to execute the order in wartime. I was lucky, only with a broken rib. Sasha Stepanova was thrown into the yard. Yet another living. None of us did anything more to the senior. Even though I was dropped...
How sorry I was for the guy, still in nightmares. not let go.

Grandfather silenced and began to sneak in the dark. One minute later, he continued unexpectedly:

But that is not the whole story yet.
Fifty years, I don’t remember, ten years after the war. I lived at the time in my village near Tossno, I’m digging in the garden, there are two men: one younger, the other older, 60 years old.
They say goodbye, they say, are you like that? Yes, I say, I. The older one shows me a photo and asks – who is he?
I looked and immediately found out, I answer – this is my combat companion, Stepanov Alexander.
The older one says, “All right, Pavel Alekseevich is Sasha, my son, and this is his older brother. We have never been able to get from the military committee how he died and where he was buried? They say that in the training unit, and how and what, it is not known. Some archives have disappeared. There was only one letter from him, and here it is. Here Sasha writes that he has a friend — it’s you.

I could, of course, “tell them” that their son and brother fell to the death of the brave defenders... but I couldn’t. Who am I to hide the truth from them? He also told me about the boss as well.
We drank all night for the memory of the soul of Alexander. The guests stayed with me, and after light, said goodbye and left.

Maybe two years later, maybe it was the 60th. Again, the father of Alexander Stepanov came to me, at that time he was alone, greeted and began without preface: - Pavel Alekseevich, I could not write to you about this, but you also have the right to know it. Here, specifically, I came to tell you: - Everything you told us then, the chief confirmed. Confirmed and repented before death.

Grandfather was still breathing in the dark, then told us to close the inflatable in the oven and go to bed.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №155938
 07.03.2021
All Pfizer vaccinated are asked to approach the 5G peak and stand for five minutes to download updates against the new strain of the coronavirus.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №155937
 06.03.2021
Xxx: Teenagers with blues columns? pffff

And you were lying in the chamber after surgery with two vivid and sociable, but deaf old women over 70 with memory failures and old nokia on a loud connection?

The same thing!



Yyy: Fuck, I was lying with such a “builder of communism” a month in the summer. Former Party Officer. He hasn’t slept since 5 in the morning. And he could talk all day about how they had led everyone, and now it’s all shit. For 18 hours a day, this radio "Country Hour" worked. Requests, excuses and threats did not work.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №155936
 06.03.2021
Love all ages are submissive, what can't be said about sex

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №155935
 06.03.2021
"Widespreadly known in narrow circles" (B. Slutsky)
I live in Costa Rica, I work in the shooting field. I went to the beach this weekend. There a Russian family holds a hotel, they stayed there. Before dawn, he took a camera, promised to return by daytime and went along the ocean.
The beach stretches 6 kilometers along the way, I photographed landscapes, various slides and sleepy pelicans. Silence, people of no one, shit! Halfway, a river falls into the sea. I calmly forced her, the depth did not reach the belt.
He swam, swam, and went on. At the end of the beach, the border of the reserve, the place of turtles, the entrance is crowded. Okay, and so well.
Bradu back, the sun is already roasting, time for 10 p.m. Here is the sentence. Oh, only it flows back, from the sea, and has become three times deeper!!! The tide is yours.
I had to swim only six meters, but I was afraid to wet the camera. We had to rush back to the reserve, a guard was seen through the grove. Was there an eagle (or a forest) in the guard? He greeted me as a native, named me by name, poured water...
...the environmental protection is armed, a couple of years ago the guys came to pop up to us on the shooting field. I don’t speak Latin, I remember, Costa Rica is a small country.
Well, I complained, he left sympathetically, remembered the high tide this year, called somewhere. A police car arrived. Snoop, gave up to the cops?
But the policemen cheered me on the back, asked about Raul’s health and where to go.
We rushed to the gate with a flash, five minutes of farewell, inviting each other to come again. The owners of the hotel were very tense - the police did not look at them when they were born. When the situation clarified, the hostess nervously whispered:
You are Python! I said, I’ll be by the hour, and here’s not fifteen.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №155934
 06.03.2021
How to catch a tiger in a cage?
Nothing at all. Tigers are only in the strip.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №155933
 05.03.2021
What a quiet dog. I cut my leg a week ago. Everyone in the blood, neighbors in shock. We have to wait another week to get out of the back and continue the execution.



YYY: If you see blood, you cut it wrong.



XXX is my blood.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №155932
 05.03.2021
A boy came to me in the hospital, aged 5-7. I started to look through my shoulder into the phone, to see what I was doing there. I don’t like when people look at me on the phone, so I turned away carefully. He started twisting his head, as if hinting, “Well, show me, right?”

His mother came, and he immediately came to her:

“Mom, he doesn’t let me look at the phone!

Mother :

Show him what you’re sorry for.

I am :

I have blood, murder and weapons here, do you not fear that a child will hurt the psyche?

The boy is happy:

I’m not afraid, I’ve played these games before.

I am :

You look at what he plays, there is blood and violence!

Mother turns to her son and is very angry and terrible:

Is it Maxim? What are you playing like that? Where is your blood and violence? Show me your games!

They go under the boy’s scream.

Excuse me, Maxime, I didn’t have to look at it.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №155931
 05.03.2021
A familiar therapist told me.

He was on the bus to work and was only thinking about how to buy a cake with kefir in the store.

And here’s his stop, he tries to get out, but he’s beaten down by the grandmother, who jumped sharply from the seat and pushing everyone away and all flew to the exit. Such a force will probably envy the tractor, dragging a 152mm haubice during the war.

My colleague, after recovering, goes out and goes to the store and then to a reception at the clinic.

And now guess who was his first to the reception with complaints and stones about how the body hurts and she barely reached the clinic.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №155930
 05.03.2021
On March 3, it was exactly 160 years ago that the bonding law in Russia was abolished for the first time.

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №155929
 05.03.2021
and Taxi. At the same time, he took the girl from the bus station. The luggage is an impressive size suitcase. I asked for help to load. and helped. We go. The girl says:
I have to get there in 15 minutes.
I: I can’t get a hundred percent. One hour, not less.
D: – Better you have time, otherwise I’ll make your fucking counterfeit rid of you.
All attempts to urge the chicken to adequacy were unsuccessful.
She calls and complains:
"I am here your driver when the luggage was loaded, all the crystal in the suitcase broke. Let’s make a complaint.
I mean, lying is not good.
D: I warned you.
I stopped. I open the luggage box and throw the suitcase away with the words, “Now everything is fair.” I sit and leave.
Is that what she wanted to?

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №155928
 05.03.2021
I am often accused that I live for my own pleasure. Sorry, but for whose pleasure should I live?! to

[ + 42 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №155927
 04.03.2021
xxx: you 6th mother a little over 30, father in power, he bought a month ago Zhygul-shoku, neighbors envy.

You roll on the veranda, you read “20,000 lieues under the water.” Then your root goes to the female with a scream: "Go quickly, I pulled a moth of capronny from my grandfather's garage!" You run on the swamp, cut fresh ribbons and make peeled bowls. Instead of arrows, the stems of the shrimp go, instead of the tips - small nails, which you pulled out of the shredder.

You and Zhenka run to the lawn in the woods, set up improvised targets and shoot from newly crafted bows, feeling like "robindups". In the afternoon, you run around the houses. The grandmother baked potatoes, smoothed with fresh milk, bought in the market. You catch a plate made of a cover from some straw canister, go out on the doorstep, sit on the sloppy stairs (grandfather didn’t have time to finish, he was lost by cancer). You look into the blue sky, eat the burning purple with a chicken foot.

Fuck how well.

[ + 12 - ] Comment quote №155926
 04.03.2021
Power and people always step together, just in different directions.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №155925
 04.03.2021
I live in Budapest and went to a Russian grocery store. Dialogue with the seller.
Are you Russian or Ukrainian?
I am a Jew.
P. Then you will like this cheese (showing Adigean cheese)
Why do you think I’ll like him?
A 30% discount on it.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №155924
 04.03.2021
The State Duma is considering a law that in the event of Putin's death, the entire state apparatus of officials, as well as the deputies of the State Duma from "United Russia" will be provided with a benefit for the loss of a feeder.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №155923
 03.03.2021
xxx: We got to work with a bagger, light with green eyes. When asked if he was clean, he replied that he was washing in the morning.

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