I sat in the inlet and did not notice how time passed, my mom is here to come to visit, I jump up and start to quickly wash the floors. My mom comes in and says:"And you just wanted to get clean! What my husband replied:"Before the president comes, the asphalt is also laid)))

In the dining room:
- give a cake "cake" for 11p 40k, please.
It is 14 rubles.
It is 11.40 like that.
Oh yes surely! 12 is 80k.

My friends went to Peter and said:
In the hotel they call in the room, offer "entertainment" in the evening. They agree. Coming "mamma" and fifth of the girls, the choice means. Well he asks the guy what they know, what they do, the jump is worth it. Momka informs about tariffs and services. But to the question "a in the ass?" he got a brilliant answer:
" The young man It is a cultural capital! They don’t get in the ass!"

I could not ignore:
"To this smart man:
"I have in aske anti-spam asks when requesting authorization: how much will be 2+3*4-5
There is another blonde.

Request for Authorization

Only the answers:
15 is
15 is
thirteen
fifty
Fifth of
15 is fucking
Fuck to 15
15 is fucking.
Go on"

What’s funny about that, fucking? You can’t normally set up anti-spam, so don’t mock a girl. The answer was correct."

You are not that girl? 😉 The accountants of Bla...

The clash between us ended when he stopped smelling the food I had cooked.
xxx: and began to smell the one that his mother is cooking -)

Advertising is chased on the radio - "Pay the utility payments on the Russian Post! It’s fast and convenient!" And I thought, obviously false information in advertising is prohibited by law...

The xxx:
You are where? We decided to go with Zzz in the coffee shop!
YYYY :
Glad for you. I suddenly got angina.
The xxx:
Ahahah, and we’ve got the ice cream! Fistachovo with caramel syrup! and :P
The xxx:
And when I cough, I feel the taste of pus in my mouth. It is colored like a caramel syrup.
YYYY :
This is the same >__<

XXX is fucking!
Sorry for my French.

YYY: What is it?

XXX is spaghetti. As usual, it was poured into a pot of peelings.

Recently, dressing a child in the morning to the kindergarten, it creates the impression that I am preparing to go out in the open space.

Conversation in Communion.
Listen, give me your plate, or Denis of mine ate and washed.

When I first looked at the Matrix in the sixth grade and obviously didn’t understand anything, the older brother explained to me that Morpheus was rough because he pierced the toilet with his head.

Winter is like Monday. You will be angry and you will not be angry.

From Habr:
When I was a child, I almost feared my grandmother in the village.
During the summer holidays, he wrapped 30 meters of wires between trees, made a simple contour and grounding, and connected all this to a high volume dynamic. During the day, it was heard so to yourself, if you lean closer - the words could be disassembled, but at night... I reasoned that once the receiver is not powered by the network or the battery, it can not be turned off. As a result, at night the whole house was raised to the ears, because the Germans cried loudly in the room!

XXX: No, I will be the vocalist.
YYY: That is why?
“Because of all of us, I’m the only one who can remember the song.

Masha
Listen, and in the photoshop home can use the allocation of a friend?

JJ
Let’s arrange instead of allocations to say the selection ) or the pipet gets 😉

<xxx> I have a bag weighing at the poop level, with a lock "lightning".
<xxx> I stand in a full bus, touching the lock in my bag to get the wallet and the ball in it with my hand. People are starting to roar.
<xxx> I’m back and see the red guy, and I’m digging my hand into his breadth!

The most honest rules.
They left the unjust as they were.

Have you been to the "Kunz Camera"? What is there? Any kind of wicked?
– No, it wasn’t... But I was BTI, and there really were all sorts of wickedness.

XXX: Let us go!
YYYYYYYYYY
xxx :D
YYY :D
XXX: Strongly Strong

My mother says:
In the school where she works, the FSBshnik came, such as to check the readiness to repel a terrorist attack. Naturally, without warning anyone in advance, he went to school with a yellow bag with a bomb in it, passed past the guard, walked down the floors, went down again and left the bag right next to the guard.
Having found out that the school was completely offended by a potential terrorist attack, the FSBshnik went to arrange a discharge to the leadership.
And while he was walking, the package with the "bomb" saved safely :-R
Now the whole school together with the FSB is looking for an underrating device xD