bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №92892
 22.01.2014
In the news: "Snowden gave a encrypted interview to the magazine New Yorker"

Wizard: And why did you think it was encrypted? Maybe he’s just a shit?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №92891
 22.01.2014
- As a child, they did with their girlfriends "secretaries" - beautiful fantasies, bushins were placed in a hole and covered with glass. They believed that in many years, they would become real jewelry. Once in the institute with a friend walked in that courtyard, remembered the secretaries, decided to look for them. Incredibly, we found one! And in it was a worm...Life is pain :(

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №92890
 22.01.2014
I looked out the window and saw a guy walking in the backyards. I think I’ll do a good deed, I’ll open the window and I’ll shout, ‘Take off the backyards!’ and he’s answering me, ‘Let’s go you naked!’ When I looked at it, I realized that these were bright blue shoes.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №92889
 22.01.2014
I sit in the bathroom, the acoustic is good. I hear the conversation of the neighbors from the upper floor. Female voice: "Have you already caught all the cucumbers?". It was terrible to live.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №92888
 22.01.2014
From the Fire:

There is a cat. The cat weighs 10 kilograms.
There is a bed. The bed has a high soft back with a width of 10-15 centimeters.
And there are owners of cats who sleep on this bed.

At night, the cat jumps on the back of the bed and walks on it. The cat has a night shift. But since the cat in the past life was a cow and some features transferred to the present incarnation, on the fourth or fifth walk it loses balance and crumbles down.
If I'm lucky, the cat falls by. If I’m not lucky, ten kilograms of cat land on my head, and for some reason it’s always my ass.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №92887
 22.01.2014
Remember, there was a song in the plasma lab?
Something about the plasma...
1: Oh you...

And we don’t dream of the thunder of a plasmatron,
Not plasma ice blue.
We dream of a simple bunch of ions.
A simple permanent curve.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №92886
 22.01.2014
I remember studying at school, it was long ago. When I got sick, I was at home. Doing anything other than tapping on the TV while lying in bed was impossible. The channels were not broadcast well. The daily broadcast was a jealous depression. Here is happiness! A foreign film is coming. The plot is as follows: a man must be served in a bowl, in the hospital he is taken to a special office for such cases. But he can not teenage, because it prevents him from concentrating on the deer who watches him from the painting. The man looks at the deer, the deer at the man and the erection disappears. With a man. So many years have passed and I have never known the title of the film. and cannot be found. I am very worried about what ended there. I couldn’t check. Tell me the name.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №92885
 22.01.2014
A colleague in the office calls a partner company. We have been working with this company for a long time, there are so-called "your Koreans". Next P - partner, O - office:

Q: Good afternoon, company "*****"
A: Denis and hello. How to Succeed? 7
p: * with notes of confusion" ahem, all well...
Oh, you, you don’t know me, you don’t know me.
P: A, the cattle is now on vacation, it’s his partner.
Dennis, is it also Dennis?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №92884
 22.01.2014
We have a small company for 20 people, according to this toilet one for all the type of room. Room Big, beautiful, but here the toilet paper the designer decided to hang 10 cm from the tank behind the back of the sitting. This is the question that the designer's hands grow out of his ass, or the boss so hints on us...

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №92883
 22.01.2014
Judging by the latest trends and reforms in the field of education, soon on the question: "What kind of education do you have?" you can only answer "malignant" or "good-quality".

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №92882
 22.01.2014
The last truck advertisement.

xxx: Filmed an advertisement - broke two VanDams.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №92881
 22.01.2014
Q: Did you come to the menta [in connection with the upcoming Olympic fire]?
See also: AHA And to you too?
Oh yeah yeah yeah. They came, asked who lived and left.
WOW: And we had it. I am standing in a dress that covers me. The decoult would barely hide the liver if I had it.
WOW is coming. I ask for his papers.
Judging from where he got them, I was the first. The first person who asked Xavi.
Oh, and I am evil. I watched it for a long time and said "not like".
He took off his hat."What is it?"
I am on the photo - on him, on the photo - on him. No, I am saying. not look like.
Then we looked at his photo together.
I am smiling ?

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №92880
 22.01.2014
Adult, it is when, in response to the weak shock coming from the window of a dark room, you begin not in fear to look for the right assembly and the holy cross to protect against the dark forces, but with horror, far exceeding all the fears of childhood, you carry there with only one thought: "Do these attacks from the fifth again flood me??" and

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №92879
 22.01.2014
HHH
What about your Iron Horse? Have you lived today without problems?

WOWU
Yesterday, the opel comrade decided that instead of a sedan, I would rather have a hatchback.

WOWU
I corrected it without hesitation.

[ + 16 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №92878
 22.01.2014
I bought you a book. Give me 93 rubles
Anna: 99 francs
Olive: Yes
Olya: 99 francs for 93 rubles
Olya: Offigenic course

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №92877
 22.01.2014
Program for automation of document circulation, offices, contracts.Demo version 18+

I haven’t had the evil system of blackjack and prostitutes for a long time))))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №92876
 22.01.2014
xxx: I heard the devil knows when, now I remember - I don't know the name, those words xDD but I want to
The melody in the head rotates :) more precisely even a fragment
xxx: Listen to any hit of Sophia Rotaru - a week later you will sing "huta-huta-ryayajaankaaa"
yyy: it sounded like "Listen to any hit group Earthmen" :)
Why You Are a Tale: Earth in the Illuminator, Earth in the Illuminator
Tagged with: Travaaa!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №92875
 22.01.2014
I just have handwriting but I promise to fix it.
Try it in the sex shop. You will be cut off with your hands.
Zzz: The hands will be broken and put out for sale... And then who needs you without hands?
AAA: on the car

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №92874
 22.01.2014
My grandfather was called Jacob Krukov. Seriously, so they called it. And he had bright yellow-orange eyes like a tiger. In my opinion, these data would be enough to become the coolest rock musician – name and appearance are perfect. And now on the stage Krukov Yakov!" - and he, therefore, comes out, shining with his tiger eyes. My grandfather was not a rock musician. He chose the career of a village shepherd.

by kosmonozhka

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №92873
 22.01.2014
This is:
Can you tell me this is a normal view for a person working as a system administrator? I have never lived with such...

Go to school, idiot, go to school!!! And the Russian language, to teach, not to walk by men!

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