bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107770
 05.01.2015
Media: to improve the ecosystem Moscow will be inhabited with shrubs and nurses
Did the mosquitoes do it?

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №107769
 05.01.2015
The preamble. When I was a child, I couldn’t watch movies on TV in three places. Village cinema, video salon and local soldier club.
by Fabula. In the club "turn" a Hollywood militant. The audience is a company of soldiers and a patsana on the gallery. A scene where a half-naked sex bomb shoots a pack of 'bad' and asks from the screen -God! What should I do now!? to
The voice from the hall - Recharge the weapons and go to the fire line!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №107768
 05.01.2015
From the Yellowstone volcano discussion forum:

Yyy: Where do the sensors broadcast online?? I have a beer and chips in the store.)
xxx: If it is still robbed, the broadcast will be directly in the window, regardless of where it is located.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №107767
 05.01.2015
C discussion of Tizen OS on Samsung Smart TV:
xxx: And why did the GUI under the tach interface for television?
yyy: you can throw popcorn into the screen and change the clips on the utube

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №107766
 05.01.2015
The plaque. Smoking, as you know, is not allowed. The man-neighbor returns from the tamur all prosecuted. Major, sitting opposite, years 25 and gloss:
You can’t smoke bla bla bla. I do not smoke and have never smoked.
The smoking neighbor: Fuck, I envy you!
In order to quit smoking, you need to...
The smoking neighbor: No. I am no longer jealous.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №107765
 05.01.2015
You don’t know Mommy. They, seeing the sign "With the children can not," even if they themselves did not fall into this cafe, and they were not going to go anywhere, but just went by - they will definitely raise the steam wheel to infringe on the mothers.
Of course, not all children's women are transformed into a "mammuleak", but the owner of the institution will be enough one-on-one per thousand passers, so that the matter does not cost a beloved brain.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №107764
 05.01.2015
And Jeff?
Jeff: Yes Margush
The night is dark and full of horror.
Jeff: Do you think?
Margaret : I know. There was just four bombs under my window.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №107763
 05.01.2015
X: What’s with your hand?
Z: Sometimes I have an intimate relationship with her.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №107762
 05.01.2015
Category "Good memories of the construction team".

We’ve been here for an eternity, and I’ve even become accustomed to all the shit. I am a girl and my rights are violated here. Dinner and shower in 40 minutes, nothing can be stored on the table, bags - in the suitcase or under the bed, which is very uncomfortable. Kolya and Ilya are constantly struggling with me. Back in the squad I learned that I was fat, scary and dumb.
Anastasia in 2014.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107761
 05.01.2015
xxx: I’ve been listening to an extremely beautiful and lyrical instrumentation lately. But for sex I still prefer hard rock)))
YYY: Are you afraid to defile the beautiful flights of the soul with hard porn? XD is
I don’t get into the rhythm.)


[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №107760
 05.01.2015
The Maidan in Hong Kong
...I repent - I broke two barricades in Hong Kong purely to try how robust the stakes there, and sitting in the tents, in the number of people 30-40, limited to screaming, but even a dozen meters did not fit - apparently, in their package of services did not include "sweetly scratch from a foreign man twice as much as me

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №107759
 05.01.2015
In the family of three people, no one was able to remember the day of the week.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №107758
 05.01.2015
A yearly quote:

This is:

Students burn: one stated with the topic of the course "Orc Genocide in the works of D. Tolkien and N. Perumov". I look forward to the May holidays when this net will fall to my feet.

You can share the quotes later, right?! to

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Daddy, quotes in the studio, may have long passed.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №107757
 05.01.2015
A dispute about the 3 km race.
I will run, I am an athlete.
2. and I served in the Russian army, I will run 3 km, jump, float and run.

[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №107756
 05.01.2015

I don’t know my size, and I always measure what I buy.
I advise knowing people to do the same, the opinion about your size from different manufacturers does not coincide.
----------
For me, the most mysterious thing in the world of commerce is my size shirt with sleeves for Auschwitz. I don’t have my fingers in these sleeves, not the biceps.
These are the norms of cutting and sewing today.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №107755
 05.01.2015
It must be admitted that fifty years ago on three channels of Soviet television showed much more interesting programs than now - for sixty.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №107754
 05.01.2015
There are several pavilions near the supermarket. Bread there, vegetables, meat, etc. There is one where pizza is made. And on this pavilion hangs a healthy banner, which depicts two pizzas almost in natural human growth. They are somewhat wise in a foreign way, I don’t remember.

And here one day some hooligans, or maybe it was competitors, under the cover of the night painted on one pizza a fly, and on the other a cockroach. Yes, so skillfully drawn, fucks, that flies with cockroaches look more natural and more beautiful than the pizza itself. The calculation was likely that flies and cockroaches would scare off customers.

The owner initially wanted to replace the banner, but as far as it was going, flies with cockroaches suddenly gained commercial significance and marketing significance. Now visitors, instead of breaking the tongue with wise foreign names, when ordering simply say, "I have one big, with flies, and two small, with a cockroach."
Comfortable for everyone.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №107753
 05.01.2015
They gathered in the forest of OMON, operas from criminal search and area.
Their task was to find and deliver them.
The Omonos returned after half an hour with a bound salmon.
A day later, the opera brought a hunter and a rabbit, each of whom admitted that he was a hunter.
Two weeks later, the districts brought an explanation from a rabbit, a hunter, a fox, a bear and the other inhabitants of the forest that there is no salmon in this forest.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №107752
 05.01.2015
Xx: Family establishments should be prohibited by law. For half an hour now, I’ve been listening behind my head to a kind of child who’s trembling "mama-mama-mama..." at the speed of a machine gun. He even tends this to the way of the song "twinkle-twinkle little star". And now, on the go, moved to hard rock, grouled like Max Cavalier))))
Xx: And the other child in front of me, bored, shakes his head like at a rock concert. The two complement each other.
Yy: :)))) You see every user finds his own))
Xx: For example, on analgin consumer - I, after this

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №107751
 05.01.2015
> and requests to issue citizenship and settle in Uryupinsk?

As a resident of Volgograd, I want to note that Urupinsk is a fairly decent city. Especially when compared to Volgograd itself. It is not foolish to ask for a mouth in Urupinsk - let them settle in Volgograd, and they will compare some San Antonio or Austin and the Russian city-millionaire.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna