An American delegation arrived in Samara. They are carried around the city, showing industrial facilities. passing by the factory "ELECTROCHIT" (production of sandwich panels, etc.)The guide:
-This is a factory "ELECTROCHRITE", producing sandwich...
He is still silent because the Americans have begun to roast wildly.
In short, they returned to the United States, full of confidence that the Russians have a factory that produces sandwiches.

We are talking about mice.

xxx: I did not believe before, for example, that a rat could swim through the sewage and get out of a closed toilet.
YYY: Why did you say this now?

Article on Divorce. One plaintiff wrote the reason for the divorce literally: “It prevents me from leading an immoral way of life.”

On the Red Square near the Spasskaya gate, police patrols detained a suspicious man who wandered near the entrance to the Kremlin.
The man told them he was rushing to meet with Dmitry Medvedev to ask for the hands and hearts of the president’s daughter.
Bahtiyar, a 35-year-old gastarbayter from Dagestan, did not know that the head of state was raising his son.

The heroism of one person is always the result of the negligence of another.

Three years ago I got on a car stop in Turkey in the night to a small town, the name of which I do not remember. I stand, shudder, I can’t understand where I am and what I am. The meters at twenty are five and they push my hands hard. I’ve been accustomed if in the east a man depicts himself as a mill, 90 percent is a taxi driver. Therefore, in order not to be deceived, I cried out from a distance, "A pair of yucks," which means, "All the babble has been eaten by the evil butcher." But when I gave in to their warnings, supported by something like machines, and came closer, I realized that they were police officers.
After checking for all the documents, they asked what shit I was doing in their city. They asked, of course, in Turkish, because it was very quickly discovered that they did not know English, and in Russian they only know two words: "chka" and "sparta", which meant respectively.
“CSKA” and “Spartak”. Not only did they, with a crowd of five people, turn out to be football fans and for a long time tick some sports newspapers in my nose, they also tried to catch my car in my direction to continue my journey. When it became clear that all the cars were going wrong, the faces of the boys suddenly shrugged and one of them removed the machine machine and, knocking at me from behind them, demanded that I sit in the police car. I could not write this phrase, but it seemed, for understandable reasons, there was nowhere. They had to submit to brutal violence. We went somewhere, then came somewhere and I, with my hands back, got out of the car.
I was taken to the service, then there was such a dialogue (with surgical translation, because we did not understand each other out loud):

How do you say your name?
by Evgeny
- Oh, Eugene, here is the toilet, here is the shower, here we have the couch, now
We’ll bring you some coffee, relax, we joke.

And the whole crowd of amusements with machine guns amused. In fact, four hours after that, all who were there, and this in addition to those five also patrol, from time to time returning from the circumvention, local gendarmes, came as in the zoo, look at the Russian stopper and each brought something to eat with him. The conversation was on my fingers, the only constructive thing I remembered for all the time spent there was the phrase "Kurnikova, Oh!!!"

In the morning, I was put in the car again by other people, who handed me over on a shift, took me to the bus station, bought me breakfast, a bus ticket to the next city, said that all these benefits are given to me by the Turkish police, waved my hand and I went.

I don’t even want to think that we would be in a similar situation.

D.A. Medvedev announced as the candidate for the Oscar in nomination
Best male role of second plan.

From the Dream Forum:

Today all night I ran from the maniac, ran and laughed, because I had never seen a maniac with a pile in my life before.

As our preacher said:
Nothing so frees the fools of the forum as the decision of diffour when registering =)

She: Didn't you have a girl who knows how to tie a branch of a cherry blade with her tongue in a knot?? to
He: Honestly, I don’t know I didn’t squeeze them in the mouth.

From the forum, the topic of "sex with the eyes of carapuses...":
Oh well fun. You do not get bored with them. Especially in a one-room apartment. My youngest also is three years old. One evening we sent them to the bathroom to play, and they decided to use it... and at the very height of the bathroom a small cry was heard: "Daddy! We laughed to tears!"

The same group members blurred the celebration in honor of the successful defense of diplomas.
On the table are champagne and mandarins.
In the group of four people, only one drinks alcohol (he pulled champagne) and only one is not allergic to citrus (she pulled mandarins).
Wow, you’ve gotten to know each other in six years of studying together.
XHH: For six and a half.
Then came the priests, and they all ate and drank.

Tell me something sad about love.
gay porn

Ashka: Listen somehow it all sounds so tempting, but a piece of eroticism in the form of a torso didn’t show me, horny?
Master_lsk: Okay, I’ll send a photo, but I’m asking for the alaverda then!
I guess I’ve drowned coffee. Is it how? Without clothes?
Master_lsk: and what, I’ll be in the clothes, right?
Ashka: So it’s not fair to hide nothing in your clothes, but I have something!
Master_lsk: and what do you hide there, you think, the milk glands are a bit enlarged
Master_lsk: if my nose is bigger than yours, I don’t wear the shirt.)

A: Do you drive me in a helicopter?
B: Come and drive
A: You can’t fly?
B is no. And you can. So let’s take a helicopter.)

I love the circle.
I love the black.
I also love corsets.
WOW: and socks
WOW : :)
Vauu: bright makeup, socks, corset with bonds
Shoes on the heels.
This is my topic ?
WOW: What do you say?
Why are we silent?
The weather...Hand Fucking

Such children, such children.
Today on the street heard a dialogue of grandmother (b) and granddaughter (c):

A: No, I do not want that.
B: Understand one simple thing, girls like boys and boys like girls. If they like each other, they get married.
I want to marry my cat!!! to

O_O

After viewing "Avatar 3D" a light is lit in the room and a quiet voice is heard from behind:
The fucking! They shoot all kinds of stuff... people don’t want to look at them afterwards...

Now on the TV was a local underwear store advertisement.
It’s called "Trouble". by OMFG

All literate people are equally literate. Every analphabet is analphabet in his own way.