What do you usually say to your graduates when you meet them?
Teacher: potato fries and big cola

My friend: my dog once brought cigarettes from the street and folded to my grandmother in the kitchen. And I got the puzzles that I smoked and I already smoked at home.

The case was in the 90s.
At that time I worked in the fleet as a motorcyclist. In the spring, everyone was driven out to work on weekends to paint barges and boats. Because the work was not paid? In particular, no one wanted to work, and once, no one went out to work fifteen. On Monday, all of the "walkers" called the chief mechanic into the office and arranged for everyone the "flight selection" with the phrase with which he began the "planner" I will remember all my life:
On Saturday morning, I go to work, the chief accountant goes to work, the chief dispatcher goes to work, the caravan captain goes to work, the head of the warehouse goes to work, the chief guard goes to work, we look, and work for someone!!!!!!!!!and "

Last night I went for milk.
What is milk 6%?
This is "My" is...
I am yours?
In response, the seller first turned red, then wandered and eventually offered to buy milk of another brand =)

XXX: My poor mother.
Yes, no one regrets me.
YYY: Everybody hates me
Everybody thinks I’m muddy.
Yyy: and a cunning selfish
YYY: I am like that.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

There is no substitute for real human communication on Skype.

The girl in the garden burned. To the question of the educator "Nastia, why does Polina cry?", she replied: "she accidentally hit my pantyhose..." O_o

by Vova Štepsel:
Where did you get such a shit picture?
The Red Tank:
What a shit?! to
by Vova Štepsel:
I don’t know, of course, but on that panel that stands in your office, I personally see... a black woman sucking off a horse.
The Red Tank:
The question is who is shit. Personally, I see a twisted stylized image of Bob Marley with a swing.

Lena: my husband when I was pregnant I wore shoes and boots.)))
Denis: And you stood up, shrugged your head and shouted, “I’m not going anywhere!”

I just watched another series. All as usual, paphos, wedding, revenge... But when an unknown guy approached the girl and said, “Hello, I am Prince Alexy, an oligarch from Belarus,” I couldn’t look further.

If silence were gold, all fish would be gold.

Confident reception
Once we sat down with my friend, the old Gabeshnik Yuri Tarasovich, and discussed modern mints. Which is better: the old Soviet or the data we feel?
I pushed my line:
- Tarasych, menta - always menta, what then, what now. the ass
Free from the chair will not be removed, but for the grandmothers - will be removed to anyone...
They are fat so that no one will pay for their morning exercise.
And everyone always tries to encrypt somehow not humanly, not words in simplicity: one day I interviewed the catcher on an accident, the accident is serious, but unthinkable: the jeep went for a "meeting" in the forehead of the "gigula".
The guilty was at least henna, and the driver Jiguliy was taken by an ambulance with a fracture of the leg.
All of.
Here’s what he said to us in the camera:
Vehicle driving on this road,
violated the GDPR under the direct control of the driver; and
As a result, he failed to handle the last...
Here, as you can see, there is a second participant in the accident in the person of the vehicle, which also took place in this incident.
As a result of the incident, none of the participants were injured, except for the driver of this affected vehicle. He was immediately sent to the appropriate institution for medical purposes.
Targaryen :
- Yes, it is, but before there were real criminals, not those who
I paid money to buy a job like I do now.
After all, the horror of modern police is not that they don’t want to work, but that they can’t.
Here is a simple example from my friend's practice: in the nineties he worked as an investigator in a small provincial town of Russian depths.
Late in the evening, a sailor’s wife was called by a husband, who was somewhere in the ocean. At that time, there were practically no mobile or satellite phones, and the sailors called home through the special coastal service on radio waves, and the "callboy" had already called her wife on the phone and connected her to a radio conversation with the ship.
So here, the husband called, we talked about this, went to business:
“Masha, now listen to me very carefully: tomorrow morning to you.
I have to go my friend motorist Slavik. I said to him, Kübyshev 10, and
How you’re called, short, I don’t think it’s going to get lost.
He will bring a big doll from me in a box until I hide it until my birthday. Don’t show me, I’ll come for a gift.
Masha, you have to give him 5,000 backs. Do you remember where they lie?
The Wife:
Well I remember.
The Mariner:
- This Slavik chases cars from the bundes and promised to push me.
Tested “beha” - as for itself, almost new. Kiss the oil.
Don’t let me go tomorrow, Slowake.

In the morning, Slavik arrived, handed a huge overseas doll, took 5 pieces of money, ate lunch and went safely to the bundes.

One hour later a smiling man called the door, handed a large doll and said he was a motorist Slavik.
The woman put the guest to lunch and slowly called the police from the neighbor.
The dress that came very ruined the man's mood, but it quickly became clear that his name was Slavik and according to the document he is the most real motorist...
The man knocked the door and also went to the bundes.

Do you know what a modern detective would say about this case?
First, he would try not to accept the statement, insulting the seafarer's wife for lightheartedness: say, you voluntarily handed the fraudster money, and where is the proof that you had them at all? They didn’t ask for papers, it was their fault. I still have the honor. Call me if anything.
and all.
In the most miserable case, if the victim still insisted, and she had connections, the criminal case would be initiated, but immediately suspended with the honest formulation: "In connection with the impossibility to establish the culprit..."

Yes or not?
I am :
- Yes, it is so, but what, Tarasych, you want to say that then - in
Are you looking for it seriously? I am not very myself.
How can this wind be found in the field? The fingerprints, then
are...
Targaryen :
- Congratulations, you would have become a great modern mint, they too
“I don’t know,” because they hadn’t ever been sitting at lectures.
criminals, they needed to earn money to account for
Criminalistic...

And my friend investigator of the old Soviet sample, without wasting time on unnecessary conversations, recorded in the notebook the testimony of the woman and went to think. have thought. It turned out that intercept the telephone conversation could only be on the radio, but to capture a radio signal from a distant ocean on the ordinary Chinese magnetolk will not work.
He went to the local radio amateur society, consulted, rewrote the surnames of suitable people according to the description, bypassed the district, employees.
ZEC, asked: who on the roofs or balconies stretched longer radio antennas?
He collected seventy photographs of the suspects on the passport tables and showed them to the seafarer's wife. In a word, my companion had to be quite like his legs from the very morning until late evening, and this is not counting the call of a dozen toy stores, but by the evening of the same day, the first one, the first one.
“Slavik,” already in vain tried to fall asleep in a small local, but provincial cozy SIZO.

On March 1, I will go out and scream: mints are goats!! to
- I do not advise - there will be no mints, but the goats, they are goats and will remain...

I walk with my beloved girl. We gently kiss, she immediately after the kiss looks at me with such eyes and a cat's smile and gently says:
You are such a cute kitten when you kiss, kind, defenseless, right on the eggs.

Short term psychotherapy:
I am standing in a dumb, waiting for a familiar doctor. She goes through the corridor. She is pursued by the sick and begins to complain unreasonably about something. Directly scratched. The psychiatrist turns out and says: I don’t want to live anymore!!!! to

In Finland, young people with internet addiction are granted a postponement from the army.

Oh how...

<xxx> Hello to you! How is it? Have you not married yet?
<yyy> What a marriage! University has to be completed. I want to do a career. A world of unknown possibilities.
<xxx> Do you know the name?
<yyy> I don’t know what it is :(

XXX is
By the way, how to distinguish a real shepherd who will sell good honey from a scammer who will steam "sugar"
YYYY
The cheater's face is clever and clever, and the real pet is swollen and swollen!

I talk to a girl on the phone. Boring communication turns into sex on the phone and in the most interesting place she says: "And here..." the call ends. After a half-minute SMS from an unknown number "And here is the stake! The money is over!"

I sit in the kitchen with my dad and eat lunch. The pigeons gathered on the window. His father was tired of it and he grabbed the towel and waved them by the window. The reaction is zero. Then comes the epic moment.
The father grabbed the knife and ran to the window and shouted:
I have a knife!! See you? The knife!! to

I could not eat for a long time.)