I love instructions written for idiots. In them you can eat something that even my perverted imagination would not have imagined.

From the instructions to the photoshop: printing video files is not possible.

Yesterday I took out a prostitute and forced her to cook borst! I don’t even know what this type of perversion is called :)))

All the men are creatures, pedors, poddolies and shells!
This is because your breasts are small.

From a popular service:
Why, when I go to Japanese websites, I have some unclear signs in addition to hieroglyphs?
WOW—Does hieroglyphs mean, for you, these are understandable signs?

Watch the jump from the trampoline:
If the wind blows in the face of the athlete, it is very bad.
of course. This means that the athlete is flying his back forward.

I’m angry that when people don’t have anything to answer, they send a smile.
YYYY : )

Dear God, are you married?
No, I haven’t lost my mind yet.

XHH: This was a case in Germany. I sit in the tram with my best friend and talk in Russian. Podvoh came to us when after saying, “As a couple we are in harmony with him – premenstrual syndrome, then I have, then he has...” a half-car of Azerbaijani appearance rained loudly.
And after half an hour innocently licked,...

I only smoke after sex :)
YYY: Did you give up something?

XXX: Misha has an epic father! I call him in the morning at home, his father takes his phone. I say :
Is it possible to miss?
Yes, wait, he’s in the bathroom.
XXX: Then the sound of the tube laying on the table. And they said to the whole apartment: "Micha, chore fuck, there is a girl at the phone!"

Recently (before the New Year), one co-worker carefully transcribed all contacts from a smartphone to a phone book (paper). Everybody cried...
Now, after all the holidays, he is considered a very wise man.

We have a lot of perversions in the camp. Everyone in DC++ is constantly uploading child pornography.
How do you know? You are not Admin Haba.
Well, I can see the names of the files that are being downloaded from my comp!

Life is not a zebra of black and white stripes, but a chess board. It all depends on your course.
I am a black elephant.

The drilling of Lake East in Antarctica.

Everywhere, we have to come up and inherit!
YYY: What this comment confirms...

xxx: Buyer OOO "RUSSBLANKPISDAT"
XXX: I can leave it here.
Let the bugs break 😉

In the 1980s, in our factory clinic, where we went to take a hospital for various diseases, at the entrance, in the most prominent place, a stretch hanged, where it was written in large letters: "Work is the greatest healer of all diseases" (Nikolai Ostrovsky).
Especially impressive believed and instead of the hospital went back to work.

Who is not in the subject: this writer died at 30 with little as a result of active work for the benefit of the Soviet power.

The car of Michael. Ru: "AutoVAZ employees will be obliged to drive only on Lada cars". This is the heavenly punishment!!! to

Chocolate drug addicts are recruited.

I brought the girl to the restaurant for dinner. Thro the hall a torpedo is worn by a strong low waitress with a haircut under Elvis, a scarring on his cheek and broken fists. The worst thing is not that he oral Baskuncha! FUS RO DAH! If you can find or not find the tea. It was scary when, when asked by a client about the cold soup, he cried out: "Vengeance of the Leopold cat!" and when the manager was asked - in the appropriate posture: "Justly."

Do not go to the chocolate shop.

From Kshk:
“Mom asked if this was the movie ‘The Fifth Element’ in which Bruce Willis saves the world. How should I answer her...?
Simply put, this definition is not an identifying characteristic.

Comments on the cake recipe "Napoleon"

XXX: It is very calorie! Why do you do this, the figure will be ruined!
Conscience, is it you? Go to HBO! I eat a cake!! to