Lav: in the corporate chat there is a chip: in the event that most client machines send to the server a status containing the word "discussion", the antimate automatically turns off.
The engineers appreciate it.

The Dark:
I remember the army.
thickness in your mouth,
Or in my hand.

by Sergey:
This is a wretched compliment, my thick-handed friend.

<Molkov> "Mom, did you also play Morrowind before?" "Don’t say nonsense, Nerevar."

And when a child grows up and begins to ask where the children come from, they will say they found him in prison.

......after "yes" the fifth is not put!
Ded: Yes, but the meaning of the proposition changes. Feel the difference:
Let there be light.(Intonation of ↑)
There will be light.(Intonation of ↓)

The Tourist:
It’s not the first time I’ve read a post about "Dressing in the bedroom..."

What do you have for the bedrooms? I am a girl, 10 years engaged in tourism-alpinism, was on high-altitude climbs, and in caves, and on alloys, and on slopes and in which only bedrooms did not sleep... and "dressed" in the late 90s, and modern "cocons", and in the high-altitude... so even if 2 bedrooms are attached together, it is just impossible to separate someone unnoticed there, of course if a person is not in an alcoholic coma (but this is another story). Getting someone in one bedroom. The mind is incomprehensible) for a joke people were stuck in our bedroom two by two, but not without the help of the third, and breathing them there inside was so self-sufficient... in a tight bedroom even to change yourself - this is the acrobatic etud =)

Finally, reveal to me the mystery of what do you have for bedrooms such "bottomless"?
This is the same thing......
Model "Teenage Fantasy", never seen, coole?

to this:

I understood that I’m older: the jokes about the sexuality of Jeanne Friske are no longer so relevant (((

It’s not you getting old, it’s you getting old.

From the dating site, section "Autobiography":

"What are your goals now":

Answer: In front of

From VKontakte:

I and Gregory Oster read and put advice into practice. I almost never listened to my parents. Life is punished. I am now a budget officer.

In the kitchen, where the father (O) is cooking some snack, the mother (M) comes in.

Q: Can you wash your laundry?
A: Well let it go.
M: And also mine.

I argue with my wife. I tried to shake her, but the answer didn’t wait:
At the end of a period of our quarrels, one of us realizes that he is a WOMAN and must give up.
and yes! This will not be an easy decision for you.

I have two news today.
First of all, I finally got to know who the slump is.
Second, I learned that a meteorite recently attacked Chelyabinsk.

Lorraine: Being me is not as easy as it seems. A fantasy that is worth it. For instance, today, I rushed to postpone the update of the program, and then immediately presented how some version - weak, but bold, trained under the melody of Rocky, makes beaten pixels, pulls bytes, swings. And in the kingdom of trouble, the evil wizard Regressio seizes power and only the smallest version can resist him. Finally, after long training, the wise sense calls for a program with the intonations of the leading boxing battle: "Are you ready?And the system kingdom already knows the answer, the folders are whispered, the antivirus is reverently shut down, the racers rush to tell me the good news of the miracle carrying light and salvation in their code, they display the message: "New version is ready to be installed!"
And I’m like the last senseless swallowing "later" and I go to drink tea. Now my conscience is tormenting.

What do you have for the bedrooms such "bottomless"?
This is the same thing......

They have no bedrooms.
Their imagination is unlimited.

The motto of our company managers:
In any unclear situation, lock yourself in the toilet.

Remember, Zzz painted everything at the end of the notebook?
YYYYYYYYYYYYY
XXX: I took her account to rewrite. She is really dumb.
WOW: What is it?
Three drawings in a row. The first is a funny little dragon with butterfly wings.
The second - this dragon is hugged with a nursery fairies.
Ordinary paintings for girls.
The third is this dragon, this, his mother, the little nursery dragon is bite a feather. Blood, cows and bones are running!
by O_O

xxx: removed the carpet from the balcony and the only thought was not to break, only not to break.

Two friends :
I have almost no hair on my head, and I have no nipples either.
You have a guy. What a joke?
In my brains.
Are they not too?

Money is only evil when it is in others. When it comes to you, money gradually turns into good.

In emigration, Vadya was accidentally: he lived in Moscow, worked as the head of the department in a large software firm, but his wife broke up somewhere. They submitted documents to Canada, and after only two years of waiting, they finally found themselves at the Pierre Elliott Trudeau airport of Montreal.
Working in the IT sphere in Canada at the time was tight, the dotkomovsky crisis burst, so Vadya was preparing to be arranged as a carrier of advertisements, or a carrier to the store. The case was also complicated by the fact that French was required to work - the only official language in Quebec, which Vadya had been studying for six months in Russia, but could not speak it. With English, he was perfect.
Suddenly, on the fourth day of his new life, he received a phone call from the employment agency, where he sent his resume immediately upon arrival. The agency offered a job very similar to the one he was doing in Moscow: the head of a large team of programmers in the Canadian branch of a large American company. And the money was offered a lot, and the lack of French did not embarrass them. In general, Wadi decided to go to an interview, and there will be anything.
At the meeting it turned out that the company has already changed six team leaders in the last six months: none of Vadin's predecessors was able to fix the affairs in the collapsing team. Per that is why it was so difficult to find new candidates for the position among experienced local specialists. The group consisted of 300 people, divided into subgroups, each working on its project and its client - these subgroups practically didn't communicate with each other. The main scourge was the deteriorating quality of the software code: no matter how the managers struggled with this, what methods did not implement, month by month the firm had to return more and more money to customers because of the mistakes made by programmers. The Americans even wanted to close the branch, but his leadership persuaded them to give them three months to fix the situation. In general, although Wade had nothing to lose, his prospects were very vague. I'll stay for three months, and we'll see there, he decided, and signed the contract.
From the first working day it became clear that it would not be easy to establish contact with programmers. They ignored invitations to work meetings, sent emails in response to emails, and sometimes openly camouflaged. And Vadya could do nothing with them: the labor legislation in Quebec is one of the strictest in the world, on the slightest occasion, the employee can file a complaint to a special commission that he is "psychologically pressured" - and then it will hardly appear neither to the boss nor to the entire firm. Wade was seriously warned about this at the very beginning, saying that the case could go to court. And in a good way to agree with the developers did not succeed that Vadya even tried to come up with.
A week after the start of work on the table, Wade laid a report: one of the teams of programmers once again made a mistake, for which the client demanded compensation in hundreds of thousands of dollars. The report even indicated a specific culprit, forgetting to put a clip in the text of the program in one place, which caused a serious damage to the client's database. Wade sat over this report for half a day, thinking about what to do. Finally, he made the decision – and the invitations to the general meeting, tomorrow, at 10 a.m., in the large hall of the company were sent by corporate mail. All attendance is strictly mandatory.
Tomorrow, everyone, or at least most, gathered in this very room. It was like the acting hall of a Soviet school, with rows of chairs and a small stage. On this very scene, at the table, Vadim sat, examining the subordinates sitting down. The same with interest looked at the new boss, guessing what it was he would tell them now.
Finally, when everyone settled, Vadya called the guilty programmer to the scene.
Did your mistake cost us a lot of money? Asked Wade
“Yes,” he replied quite calmly, confident that nothing serious would be done to him.
So, I decided that it would be useful for you to learn a lesson from this story so that you can remember forever the pain a client is experiencing when you make such mistakes. Come closer to.
The programmer approached Wade face to face, smiling. Many of the staff in the hall took their phones in anticipation of the show.
Vadya sharply shrugged his head forward, hitting the programmer in the nose - the blood flowed through the stream. He stood still, not realizing what had happened, and in the morning there was complete silence. Vadya looked at the shattered programmer and asked him:
Did you now realize your mistake?
He said quietly.
You will not be anymore?
No is
– Well, I believe you... – Vadim walked away a little, then suddenly returned.
You did not understand Nietzsche. You’re standing here and thinking that tomorrow you’re going to file a lawsuit against me and the company and you’re going to become a millionaire. And you do not care about your mistakes from the high mountain. You don’t care if we lose money because of them – and somebody might lose their lives someday. So I will continue my lesson.
He shrugged his hand, and three healthy young men in heavy forged shoes rose to the stage. They approached the culprit, the biggest of them hit him with a foot in the stomach. The programmer fell without making a sound. For the next five minutes, the thunderstorms pinched the programmer’s legs lying on the stage, turning his face into a solid mixture. It looked so frightening that no one in the hall even thought of rushing for help, or at least trying to stop the execution.
Eventually, Vadya raised his hand and said, “Enough.” Take this bag away, he pointed to a programmer lying in the blood.
Does anyone have any questions? The hall was silent.
The meeting is over and everyone can go back to their places. And, please, keep your code in mind.
Vadim left the hall through the back door, then quickly descended in the elevator and left the building.

In the evening, his cell phone was called.
Ms. Vadim Smirnoff - In the tube was heard a characteristic accent of Quebecua, poorly speaking English.
You are concerned by the Commission on Safety and Health of Employees. We have received a complaint that you have brutally dealt with your subordinate in front of his colleagues. You should come to us early in the morning to give an explanation. And please note that we have notified the police, so if you do not appear, you will be forced to drive. This is a very serious matter, Ms. Smirnoff.
“I don’t know what you are talking about,” Wade replied. Oh yeah, you probably mean the show that was shown to the staff today?
– Ms. Smirnoff, don’t try to humiliate what you have done. We know reliably that you and your counterparts beat a company employee, and we have video recordings of this incident made by several eyewitnesses.
What do you say, what a beat. It was just a performance made by the actors of the local theater. I agree, they played very reliably - but no one was injured. The victim is allegedly on vacation in Cuba - you can check, he left late yesterday. By the way, the company paid him for this leave, and paid generous concessions for the early termination of the contract, as required by law. And the one who was on the stage today is just an actor grimmed under this employee. The other players are also actors. And what many have taken for blood is, of course, a special fluid used in movies for special effects. As far as I know, all employees attending the show are over 18 years of age, so there can be no age limit. And, of course, no one forced them to watch it, the doors of the hall were open, you can check...

The commission, of course, conducted its investigation against Wadi, but was forced to close him for lack of evidence. At the same time, the company informed the commission of the inadmissibility of disclosure of all details, threatening otherwise to file a lawsuit - and the commission was forced to agree to this.

Well, Wade has since been spoken in the company as a wild Russian, capable of anything - and feared him and hated him at the same time. Gradually there was a movement for the change of the boss, on the basis of which the whole team came together. People from different groups began to communicate with each other - and not only about how to get rid of Wadi as soon as possible, but also about work affairs. And, most importantly, for the next month, the company for the first time did not receive any customer claims for poor quality of software code.

And Vadya worked at the firm until the end of the contract, and then found another job, where he was taken for effective and non-standard methods of personnel management, as expressed by his new boss. During the interview, he for some reason tried to stay at a distance from Wadi, as if he was afraid of something.

Few people know that the "Post of Russia" is the author of such inventions as cheese with mold, vinegar and shrimp.