bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №60253
 17.02.2012
The daughter has a large soft sheep that tells stories.
Imagine in the silence of the night from the corner a quiet stealing voice "Hello baby. Be comfortable with..."

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №60252
 17.02.2012
There are now in the room:
Vladilin, X-boy, ridiculous_catE, pider-man:D, ZaebalaZima
...
The user entered the room.

The boys are deceived! I need your help again!!! to
User X-Men has left the room
The user has left the room.
*Pider-man:D has left the room
*The user of ZaebalaZima left the room
The Hole: ((
The Lord, can you help?
I am a bot!

[ + 43 - ] [9 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №60251
 17.02.2012
XXX: What is the joke? Here was a fluid student, the 5-year-olds seemed to be adults and serious people.
Xxx: now behind the shoulders of 2 universities, a candidate of science, I head a large company, under the supervision of 1,000 people, wife, three children.... But to this day in the ass of childhood ))) Either with friends we fool like idiots, or I sit in the evenings I play x-boxing with my son... Where is she, adult life??... I do not understand anything...

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №60250
 17.02.2012
I’ll never, I’ll never forget what kind of nonsense I had to call somebody on behalf of the boss. Apparently he was ashamed to call... I didn’t understand why he didn’t do it himself at the time.

WOW: I sometimes trick=) but rarely, when it’s a very dumb task... I call, and while the boss doesn’t see, I drop and continue to stand with the telephone. And so a couple of times. At first, nobody took, and the shares were busy! I am not happy with my hand. Can you call me? 😉

XHH: High communication skills

Wow, I wrote this in my resume 😉 😉

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №60249
 17.02.2012
Wassermann: The progressive public at the time very violently protested against compulsory psychiatric care – as a result of which the existing system of such assistance has been almost completely destroyed, which, as can be seen by the naked eye, has very badly affected the state of the most progressive public.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №60248
 17.02.2012
Tarsius Sapiens: I loved Indian cinema as a child. "I have the same mole on my left ass as on my right! My sisters are my sisters!"
Hitter: =)))))))))))))))
HITCHER: Why are the two buttocks dancing?

[ + 41 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №60247
 17.02.2012
I sent a questionnaire to the passport through the portal of state services. Not only is it that as a result, you still have to stand in line to give the receipt and show the passport, so instead of immediately registering the questionnaire electronically, print it out and drive it through a scanner that recognizes this questionnaire! All this happens in one office. Innovation is fucking.

[ + 33 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №60246
 17.02.2012
Conversation with a 17-year-old husband:
“This is what your son will say to you when he grows up, ‘I want to go to ballet, your fencing in the ass!’”
And I will take the sword and answer, “I gave you birth, I will kill you, protect yourself.” Let’s see what his ballet will do.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №60245
 17.02.2012
When I was 6 years old, my mom found my note to Santa: “I want everything.” Years go by, the same desire.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №60244
 17.02.2012
In Bukvoode on Nevsky. I approach the saleswoman, I ask: You have Sokolov "School for Fools" Publishing "Alphabet". She cried out to the whole room, “Girls, we have an alphabet for fools, for school.” A man needs.

[ + 51 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №60243
 17.02.2012
From the CentOS website:
Who is pleased to win
Shame on our team.

xxxxxxxxxxx:
I went to Linux.
I have my native wine!

WOW :
No wind, in the p*du macOS
Where is my good old two?

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №60242
 17.02.2012
ttt: They took a scooter in a rental in Spain. The renter looks at my driving license, there is only category B. It says that the scooter needs category A.
ttt: I turned the certificate backwards, where all categories are explained.
ttt: He believed I had all the categories and gave me a scooter!)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №60241
 17.02.2012
Fuck, and only at work I understood how busy it is to smash the condensate on the cookie, bending it from side to side.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №60240
 17.02.2012
XXX: There is a defile in the wedding dress
YYY: in wedding sweaters
YYY: With the hearts
ZZZ: Wedding sweaters
Zzz: I now know what the Sisadmin wedding looks like
yyy: sweaters, dance under skyrim, beer with marakuya
zzz: and pasta on the table
YYY: Rings of a Pair
Yyy: Pelmen and Draniques
zzz: and instead bitter "For the alliance!"
xxx for root!
In the name of the Order!
XXX: A competition to gather the network for speed. Collection and disassembly of note
XXX: Launch of the scarf under the Ubuntu
YYY: Half Life on Speed
ZZZ: Championship in XC
XXX: The bridegroom instead of the bandage, removes the bride's shirt
zzz: search for the stolen bride by jeeps navigator
yyy: search for a bride in google))
And the bride does not throw a bouquet of flowers, but a set of loops.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №60239
 17.02.2012
at work.
I am a credit agent on Ipad.
C is hello.
and hello. What is your "soap" personal?
Pause and palm!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №60238
 17.02.2012
The fifth law of Newton. The body received by fucking does not get rid of.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №60237
 17.02.2012
Y: What do you want for dinner?
X to eat)
Y: more specifically
X: Eat a lot
A lot of grass, well.
X:nain nain their catapuliren their vil nicht cheesecake das ist terrible their vil meat!!! to

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №60236
 17.02.2012
Does your phone have a touch screen and on the street -20?
You do not need to remove gloves to remove the phone. Use the nose.

Comfortable and fun around.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №60235
 17.02.2012
Before you open the door, don’t forget to remove your tail.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №60234
 17.02.2012
One day my mother felt a sharp pain in her eye. Having found out that she had a vessel in the eye, she went to the clinic to be examined and written a drop.
I got a ticket and sat in the hallway to wait. The pain was terrible, but even through the pain, holding her hand in the face, she saw the plaque on the door with her second eye and wondered, "Doctor Tsell. When did Zidane re-qualify? After all, all his life, for forty years he has been working in this clinic as an otolaryngologist.
When she went into the office and sat down, the doctor opened her card, wrote a number, looked at her gently and asked, "Well, what are we complaining about?" Mom: “My eye hurts” Doctor: “I understand. Open your mouth.”
Mother shrugged, but opened her mouth and even said, “A-a-a!” Tselel took the extender and said, “Let’s see what’s going on in the nose.” Mother: “I have a pain in my eyes.” The doctor said, “I’ll just look.” He looked at his nose and said, “Now let’s check the ears.” My mother’s nerves gave up. She said, “My eye hurts!” “Yes, my ears are okay.” There was a note on my mother’s card: “Receipt from Laura. There is no complaint.” After this, the doctor stood up, took his mother's hand, took him straight to the oculist's office, sat down and said to him, "Take her without a turn. Once again she sat down. Our idiots from the registry gave her the score wrong."
For me, this story is a story of people like Dr. Tselel, who day after day, day after day, just do their job and on whom everything in this life holds.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna