bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 90 - ] Comment quote №42952
 10.02.2011
Childhood is when you have a thousand toys at home, but your favorite activity is still to spin the meat-cutting machine. (C is the primary)

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №42951
 10.02.2011
DI HALT: Dmitry Medvedev got fucked up with the glugs of switching time from winter to summer in Apple iOS and solved the problem radically.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №42950
 10.02.2011
Katerina: I think the employer should be drawn again about the payment?
Kirill: I have to.
KIRIL: Or they finally swallowed.
Kirill: Tell them so.
Kirill is polite.
KIRIL: Well, you’re totally out there. thank you.
Katerina: Yes to you
Kirill: What is it? Thanks, a polite word ?
Katerina Volobuyeva: No, seriously, what would he write like that?
Kirill: Well, say, I like our fruitful collaboration...Bla-Bla. You have shown yourself as a good and responsible employer. and bla bla bla. But lately there is a strange situation with payment...Bla-Bla-Bla. Is there any mistake? and bla bla bla. Focus me on payment terms. and bla bla bla. You are finally swallowed. thank you.
Katerina: well you :)
I’m not used to writing such long letters.
Kirill: I can reduce it.
I like responsible but. Time is strange, focus on it. and Ohueli. thank you.
Thank you – add it. We are polite people ?

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №42949
 10.02.2011
It’s like knowing how to cook soup.
She: this is not in the sense of comparison, but the same duty of a woman)))
I know how to cook soup.
He: Oh, if I were a woman, I would be perfect.
I'm afraid to ask O_O

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №42948
 10.02.2011
XXX is
How did you give blood?
YYYY
No, it has collapsed

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №42947
 10.02.2011
The Japanese are funny! We lost the bridge with our flag. Let's roll on the rolls of clothes, with which our technicians wash absolutely everything, print the Japanese flag. A Japanese is prepared to go to some office in our rache, and there he is given a godfather with a shirt-Japanese flag and whispers:
Here is the man! Take your feet!
Wipe the dirt around him with this cloth and still make the Japanese flag feet wipe out. They are samurai and so on. I think everyone will have eczema.

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №42946
 10.02.2011
Q: Did you tell me that I’m going to learn English in the United States?
YYY: Yes, what is wrong?
xxh: I went) with English so-so, but I developed the art of pantomime to cloudy heights)))

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №42945
 10.02.2011
I am self-suicided, I am guilty, I am killing myself, fucking, what kind of self-suicide I am.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №42944
 10.02.2011
Buy yourself something acetic.
And the villas?

[ + 99 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42943
 10.02.2011
Comrades, and now I'll write you the most fairy fuck from your math homework! I am in silent shock! I will call the teacher, I swear.
14 children learned to swim. Three of them still don’t know how to swim, and two... Bubble Crush... have already drowned (!!!). How many children have already learned to swim and have not yet drowned?

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №42942
 10.02.2011
My son is doing lessons, and my wife and I are sitting next to him, reading each of our own and listening with one ear to what he is reading there.
(important note: son in 2nd grade, Roman figures have not yet been explained to them, but the text about Peter I has already been given.)
So, he reads the following:
"... Russian Emperor Peter the Stick..."
I laughed under the table.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №42941
 10.02.2011
The xxx :
The sun, not the hanger. We need to get you infected with optimism!!!! to
YYY :
Preferably sexually

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №42940
 09.02.2011
It seems to me that if on packages of cigarettes such as "glamour" or "kiss" to write "smoking KILLS small cute cats, the effect will be stronger than from ordinary inscriptions ;)

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №42939
 09.02.2011
to a screw wrapped with a pillow

I had the castle broken in the toilet when I was inside.
So I broke the lock with my eyelid.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №42938
 09.02.2011
XXX: I wonder, but who is he in the horoscope sign?
The Light, the Zodiac
Q: Which month is this?

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №42937
 09.02.2011
Xentrea: Yesterday was the crown.
We sit in a couple, people are few.
We have a "sweet couple" - a boy-major and a boy-side-size.
They got the teaching, he placed them in different places in the class.
and asks the boy-major - "And why don't you write anything, how will you answer on the next couple?"
The boy enters.
In a minute he gives out - "And I’ll take Max!
The Mahatma pause.
Prev "So straight and take"

We cried, we cried and we broke a couple :)))

[ + 77 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42936
 09.02.2011
She shaved her one-year-old daughter’s nails and accidentally slightly cut her skin on her finger. The morning was quite tiny, but the blood, for some reason, did not stop and everything coated and coated. Since it is strange to call an ambulance because of a cut finger, I decided to call my uncle (he is a biochemist) and ask for advice. Since he lives in a neighboring house, he even offered to come in person and help in this terrible trouble.
In this way, I witnessed a stunning picture: a biochemist, a candidate of biological sciences, self-sacrificed to help, began to whisper the wound!
P.S And the funniest thing is that it helped! :)

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №42935
 09.02.2011
I have a morning today!
At first I slept a little, then it turned out that the menstrual periods began. Then, finally, she prepared breakfast and carried it into the room on the nose. And it was necessary to put him by the table, turning at the same time on the floor of the open (!) clamps! The tea has shed! And the butter, of course, fell oil down! The condensed painting flows from the wallpaper and the closet, I go to the bathroom for a cloth - and a batch! The lights burned out!! What a coincidence!! While I was looking for the cloth, the dog slipped his mouth into the cloth of the cloth while I washed it, the cat sat on the edge of the cloth and with a satisfied mouth grabbed her!!! He can’t eat milk and sweets. I am protecting! I am also late! In short, in conclusion, already on the way to work in the bus there was a fight between the driver and the passenger... Today is not Monday?! to

[ + 66 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42934
 09.02.2011
Shade> What insects eat cockroaches? To settle a pair or another and no one cockroach in a week.
fenix> And then you ask the question - which insects eat the insects that eat the cockroaches???? to

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №42933
 09.02.2011
I quit smoking, now I don't know how much to sit in the toilet

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna