bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №135941
 15.11.2016
(from the comments of RU-CHP):
1: - Well you in the fucking then, forgive me, and the major on the rolls-roys are not many)))) and under those that are - surely the roads are blocked))))
2: - There are no rolls, but there are panamers and cayens enough. Recently, the evacuator Kalina fell on the jaguar)))
I’m always confused about the terminology... Is it performance or installation?
2: - At the time of fall performance, and subsequent installation))

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №135940
 15.11.2016
YYY: Do you accidentally have any file or unnecessary folder?
XXX: I can throw it away, but you can get it back.
YYY: No, I need to give it
I may need it later.
I can borrow it.
xxx sends file DSC_0026.JPG
XXX has been received?
YYY: Are you okay?
Yes, I just loved that file.
XXX: I still have a copy.
I am about the plastic file.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx No no no no.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №135939
 15.11.2016
I went into the bedroom of my parents in time.



They clothed the wallpaper, they had to help.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №135938
 15.11.2016
I am in...

I heard this variant:
The goldfish was caught by the jungle, but he refused three wishes, instead asking to fulfill the first wish of the bosman when he comes out of the deck in the morning.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №135937
 15.11.2016
Connecting the homephone. Kids are running around, as usual, they are all interested. A lot of questions, the answers come up by themselves. Well so here. One boy asks:
Are there many apartments?

I answered:
- You will help me offgenically if you run away and count how many!

The five men were a girl.

These bulls were broken to count. I wanted to breathe calmly. But here, that little girl was screaming!
Where are you? Look at how many mailboxes, birds!! to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135936
 15.11.2016
I am surprised only that the desire to say in silence: "andaya, we should wash the dishes" is joyfully and unconditionally attributed to the female sex. I have a brother and father like that. Never clearly formulate wishes, breaths, hints and "no one is listening to me". I’m angry, my mom is angry, we’re not women, right? by Beata.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №135935
 15.11.2016
Believe me, there are a lot of people in the world who actually need the services of our bank.

But without our night call they will not know about it.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №135934
 15.11.2016
The son, being in the second grade, said about the hair grown up after shaving naked: "I'm glad to see, mom, that you finally stepped up, the hair has grown, and what was it??!! Adult woman, mother of second grade, and you walk like a saucer!"

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №135933
 15.11.2016
#Cuckoo

12 years ago, I bought my cat for 250 rubles. If you divide this price by the number of days spent with the cat, then its cost is 5 kopecks per day.

<><><>>
Did you decide not to feed him? A dead cat is no problem.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №135932
 15.11.2016
xxx: I personally checked my hearing when I woke up one night from watching porn. And a sad one, there so sadly stood the maid, as if her leg was broken, and the anesthetic just started to act.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135931
 15.11.2016
From the Guitarist Forum:

I actually hear pretty loud clicks when I touch the strings on the electric guitar. Previously there was no such thing. How to solve the problem?
222: Logically, do not touch the string!
333: The problem with screening and grounding is most likely, some element inside the guitar has gone away (a wire, for example).
111: How to solve the landing problem? I’ll look at the leaked lines today.
444: Electricity invites to make a washing machine socket.
I will probably try myself...
555 to say goodbye.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №135930
 15.11.2016
xxx: So - 15.11.2016 - Ulyukaev was detained on suspicion of extortion. I take bets, gentlemen, in how many days will he be translated into witnesses.))))
Three days! →! to
Yaya: (with a terrible voice) 7 days!!!!! to
SSS: a week will murmure the news, then in a month when they forget everything, they will make a witness
FF: Did you get excited? Preparing for a promotion

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №135929
 15.11.2016
The program can download files in N streams, but cases of N more than one are not supported yet

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №135928
 15.11.2016
Senior courses of the institute, the first serious relationship, the first rented apartment...

In general, the praised male logic fails on simple household issues, as it turned out: no, that you, dear, I do not consider that everything in the household should be done by you, you just need to do it, otherwise it is a mess and uncomfortable, and I do not want to do it.

No, a couple of weeks before him, of course, it came out that if we are only two, then the option is two - either I do, or he does. He is still together (for 15 years now) and he is very busy. I should have seen his face at that moment.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №135927
 15.11.2016
Simple coupe, I am like a cockroach, on the top shelf.
People were, if you look at them, obviously intelligent! They ate and began to eat peanuts.
After forty minutes, after the destruction of the gift of the southern batch, they got the pot! Here my extrasensory feeling felt awkward! The bottle was with tomatoes! I don’t know which alien frog told them to fill 100 grams of tomatoes with half a kilogram of garlic, but it’s a fact! They ate him! The woman refused and again disappeared in the technological holes!
At that moment, completely betrayal, came the night! They all slept like white people. Within forty minutes, we realized that we were in the savannah, the planet of hell! For, by nothing else, the roar of the ass of a lovely grandmother can explain nothing but the roar of the gin, bitten by the marid for the most holy!
Then we smelled war...the smell was terrible! I regretted at that moment that Lovecraft had died, he would have composed an entire collection until he had died of the smell!
Grandpa was silent, he was calm, this gas apparently calmed him.
The battle of the grandmother's stomach with the sting continued until three nights! The people began to roll in the neighboring compartment, apparently the poison leaked through the holes and caused terrible dreams!
At three o’clock at night, I realized that Satan was around and what power he possessed – grandfather exploded, well, I thought so! Ktolhu and Shab Niggurat just cried, although no one can rule out that it was my tears.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №135926
 15.11.2016
Summer and Saturday. I come back from a meeting with my friends in Hermione costume. Later, I ordered a taxi. I did not have to wait long. It would seem that everything has already been decided: the address to go, payment by credit card, communication was expected to be minimal.



Are you studying somewhere? - said the taxi driver, kiwa on my outfit of white shirt, tie and golf.

I have not studied for a long time. This is a cosplay costume.

However, it is very beautiful.

and thanks.



It seemed like the accident was exhausted, but the driver decided to give me another compliment.

You are good, you don’t drink. The windows are not blurred.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №135925
 15.11.2016
The construction of the shuttle in the district of "Strelki" in Saratov is planned for "the period after 2020".
Wauu: And also after a cableway through the Volga, a new bridge and a cosmopolitan on a green island with a snowboarding platform.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №135924
 15.11.2016
With money it is hard to fall asleep, without it it is hard to wake up.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №135923
 15.11.2016
We had medical ethics. Leading a graduate student, she tells a case from practice: In short, a lady with a cat came to us and said, "Snap my cat, a witch has settled in it." And seriously so. Well, we and the trainee poured water into the test tube, said it was holy water, sprayed on the cat (the cat was very dissatisfied). The trainee read Goethe's poems in German (well, Madame German didn't know), then they injected a salt solution into the cat and let go home with Madame. Madam left happy, and the cat looked at everyone as if they were fools.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №135922
 15.11.2016
My mom asked me to check your diary.
Dad, but you have a weak heart.
You are sorry for me, son.

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