Wife and aunt went to relatives
xxxh: a week lived with the cat soul to soul, everything was okay, ran healthy
Yesterday I brought my wife and aunt.
The cat went out into the hallway, looked at them, returned to the room and, sorry, blinked.
Symbolic: symbolic, symbolic

I imagine how Navalny, Parthenov, Akunin, Udaltsov and Shevchuk communicate on Skype in an audio conference. Talk so friendly. And then Navalny suddenly says: "Eh, it’s all enough! Go to a rally. I will do it."

From Habr:

There is a city legend that Einstein, when he was gathering for a conference in the United States (living in Europe), sent an announcement of his lecture — proof of Ferm's theorem. And when he arrived, of course, changed the name of the report to corresponding to reality. He did this so that if his plane crashed over the Atlantic, the whole world thought he could prove this theorem.

After receiving the January salary, it seemed that the management thought I should fall asleep and suck my leg(((

From the Auto Forum:

Bonus: Good morning, you need advice on choosing a car, for a beginner - a working unpretentious car, on average, you can drive 2,500 thousand km a month, in good condition, the budget is up to 60 rubles. Which brand, model will advise suitable for these parameters.

Format: 2107 and icon

I don’t understand why you’re shaking?
...
Strel: Imagine what you became a guy for a day to do then?
It would be nice to get rid of any girl.
Strel: and you’t get it :)
Rossa: Then it would be good.

This morning the thermometer knocked on the window and asked to go home.

What did you buy in the store?
YYY: bought meat, berry onions, seeds, beef, cheese. Madly sweet mandarins, apples
XXX: what, the sausage is really bad, right?

The programmer: try it.
Test: No, it does not work
Programming: What are you doing?
Nothing, I am going home.

Slavik... let’s bet on the hennessy box that the prostitutes in Kiev for Euro 2012 will learn English faster than the garbage from your administration.

xxx: how can you see the software code of the window, namely, 15 lines are needed
YYY: Crazy – kill yourself at the table
xxx: here’s what I explain 😉
YYY: to whom?
XXX: Yes, there is one stunned she just promised to pay for the machine
15th line of vinyl?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
YYY: The
XXX is very hard 😉

My 2-year-old daughter handed out a pearl today) I am going to leave in the morning, wearing strings and walking still undressed. She says, “Mommy, why are you naked?” You have a job shirt, right? I defended myself! I say - who will hear and think - and who does the child's mother work if she has working and non-working cowards??))

XXX: She is the favorite in the evening dress, and in the morning without makeup in the bigud stretched coat
Why do you stretch your clothes?

Refusal to issue a loan (Rayfaisen)

tk. You do not have a city fixed phone, we can not be sure of your payment ability, so we do not approve your loan.

And this is the presence of equipment worth more than 1 million rpm, land plot. Proper home + stable confirmed income

Answer: Dear employees of the bank, fucking in the courtyard of the 21st century, what a fucking fucking phone, you that, in case I decide to fuck up with money, you will look for me on the telephone wire like a thread...

I sit and cry hysterically. 😉

The ghost of the animal will look at you grabbing his body and will not feel anything good about you. And this anger will increase your negative karma even more

YYY: They are nothing compared to the tortion hatred of headless wheat collies and broken young seeds in the test.

Life must be lived where it will not hurt.

Record in the school diary
It is known that becoming the world champion in chess, Mikhail Tal continued to work in one of the Riga schools... a modest teacher of literature.
At one of his lessons a funny story happened: he noticed that during a lesson on a chess board located on the window, two students slowly played a game. White had all the chances to put mat in four moves, but not only missed this chance, but also fell under a devastating attack.
Teacher Tal demanded a journal of the violator of discipline, where he made a strict inscription for information of the parents: "I did not find mat in four moves in the lesson of literature!“”

If you write sparkles on thousands of notes, then the teacher's attempt to take the sparkles from the student is already extortion.

Sasha's dialogue on the phone, I hear clearly the current of his replicas:
No need to press.
Do not press.
No need, I said.
Take off your hands!! (to the side of the blade)

I work in a company for the sale of mining and drilling equipment. The head of fire: his phone is ringing, and the number is internally, i.e. You can only call "your". He picked up the telephone and said, “The Embassy of Kenya. Oh, sorry... and they put the phone on.