2007 was a distant year. I did not fill up as a child. And since I was lazy from birth, I didn't even consider the issue of clutches and fitness, because after work, there's generally reluctance to go somewhere. The weekend is holy. And this is how in the spring I watch on local TV show a happy retired man who whispers during the report that he lost weight even cleaning the yard. Here it is, the thought crumbled. I am a guy raised in the Soviet past and knowing myself understood that you need to go to the courts. Because if you get to work, then work and not eat.



And it should be noted that I was then working in the public office as an ordinary office worker from 9 to 18 o’clock and therefore could devote to my twin fitness either in the morning (early), or closer to the evening. Would it seem like a courtyard? Search for the ad and go ahead. Where are the gardens needed? Of course in the UK. I directed my footsteps there. I called, came in and started discussing the working conditions with the master (woman). She talks about the salary, where to store the inventory, etc. I asked: and you can not wear the Buratino jacket, because I will clean early and therefore there is no point in wearing it. I was rejected (I thought I would somehow deal with this Device). When discussing the salary asked: Is it with or without the NDFL? Here was the first ringing from her side.

She asks, “Are you going to work as a gardener?”

I answer: Of course I am.

Well finished the conversation and we go out to show me where to clean, and then if I do not refuse, then write a job application. At that time, I had a first-generation RAV-4. I naturally, in order not to hit the legs, suggest to walk to a seat in the car.

She asks me again: Are you going to work as a gardener?

Of course I! Who is more. I was refused. When I called and asked where to apply, they told me that from 9 to 10 o’clock I should be in their office. Questions arise to the courtyard. So I didn’t understand what questions could be to the courtyard? Either cleaned out or not.



Then there were two more attempts to do and also with adventures. Oh yeah yes. The month was May. I had to go to Ash (at the time) to send a message to friends to acquaintances with a request to arrange a yard in the mud. Ask a word for me. From June to October I lost 14 kg. The schedule was like that. At 4-00 I got up (in summer it is easy), at 5 -00 already with a meth in my hands. The plot was for two bets, but killed one I. By 8:00 I had time to remove everything and place it, went down to the basement, there was a room, took a shower, changed clothes and went on to the main job. When cleaning the territory the first time the sweat lily like a cage. I often thought about giving up, but the pride of work did not allow it.

So as an option for weight loss is very even suitable.

At the end of the 1990s in one of the border troops in the North Caucasus.

The morning. The divorce. We think of a new, newly appointed chief of the squad, a stunned uncle with a classic Odessa accent, I have only heard of it in the movies before.

Stay awake, fellow coworkers!

Welcome to Comrade Colonel!

By the command of Okgug, I was appointed chief of this poghanotgjad. My name is Colonel Shusteg Izmail Magkovich. In order not to have any quirks about my nationality, I officially declare to you: I am a Belarus by nationality!



The whole squad in 3000 gloves)))

My family loves to sleep. Specifically, we simply do not have any problems with sleeping. Insomnia is not about us.

For example, the grandfather, being a student, fell asleep in the bus near the window and slept from 11 to 15 o’clock, surprisingly how the conductor did not notice.

He slept at the table above the book, slept while waiting for me from dancing. He fell asleep behind the wheel and he and his mother were in a car accident, quite serious.

I inherited this wonderful, strong dream (particularly appreciated by living with my husband in the studio and having different biorhythms. He may even walk on my head, I'm pissed).

But one day he made me an unimportant service.

I am 8 years old, my parents went to visit me, left me and promised to be 22. 00 to be home.

At eight o’clock, I came back from the yard, washed and sat down to read.

It’s summer and it’s still light, so I didn’t want to sleep.

But after an hour, I, tired of running fast on the street, wanted to sleep. And the castle we had was such that it was very difficult to close with the key from the inside, I lacked the strength, so I closed on the lock and had to wait for my parents.

But the dream won and at nine I was already asleep.

Following my mother’s words.

We come at ten, we knock, we call, we do not open. The key does not pass. is closed. I am already in panic. The home does not answer, there is no cell phone yet.

Half an hour later, my uncle and aunt arrived.

The option is to break the door, which is impossible because it is iron and very dense, and there is no tool needed.

The second option is even better – knock on the neighbors from below and ask to climb through them to the balcony.

The second option was applied, the uncle lander in a minute came down, took the door to the balcony and found me sleeping on the couch. I did not even wake up.

He says, at first I thought I was dead, because a knocked door fell with a thunder like this, the dead would rise.

He opened to his parents, they woke me up, made sure that I was okay and didn’t even cheat.

I didn’t get out of a princess on a peanut.

I go on the road and my mother asks my son:

Will you go to school tomorrow?

– No

Why is?

Life hurts

What if it doesn’t hurt?

Tomorrow it will hurt.

I have a boyfriend a few years younger than me.

We met him when I was 18, he was about 15.

How we met...

He approached me, a poor first-class student, asking for money to travel. And I was small and stupid and really thought what he needed, and gave the last - it was necessary to help people.

And then I began to meet him regularly in the city with a periodicity of half a year, sometimes a year.

Every time he asked for money.

I studied in one universe, then in another, then changed jobs, wages, went for free bread, married, and many more things done... and this fool is still walking and shooting the little stuff.

In the first few years, I just replied that I would not give money, and I remember him very well, and I know who he is.

Then I roared over him.

And, I almost forgot the main thing - all this time I often changed the appearance - then hairy, then bald, then with a beard, then without, then informal in cowboy boots and coats, then a rapper in wide pants, then a militarist, then a marching man, or just a dirty jerk from work. And all that time he couldn’t remember me.)

After getting tired of roasting, he just started sending him a naher.

Then one day he went back to me again, he was sent again... and it would have ended well, but in a couple of minutes we met again – he was stealing some grandmother, and she was already getting the wallet with her copies. I passed by and said to her, “Woman, don’t give him anything, he’s professional, I’ve seen him on the streets for 10 years. She woke up, hid her wallet and went on. And I went to myself.

Somebody is knocking on my shoulder behind me.

I turn, this body is worth it. Suffice enough.

And I, according to Picabushnik, weighed less than a hundred at school the last time.

And that idiot is starting to hit me. Mole, why did you do that? You don’t give money, and you’re still making money. What made it easier, what hindered?

And here, I am standing in front of him and cuddling... because I understand that I now have something to answer him, and somehow explain that he, a healthy man, cuddles money from me, the same man, and I just have to give him a part of my earned money, and he doesn’t want to do anything. And even the old grandmother must give him part of her pension. And I know that I will not explain it all to him. And such anger dispeled me... that I took and caaaak fucked him in the eye.

And I must say that I have always been an educated boy from an intelligent family, and I have always had a hard time hitting the first person in the face. Then it flew straight from the soul. And so well it became, easily, as if wings grew up and a stone from the soul.

Since then, our relationship has moved to a new level.

Every time he met, the guy started getting a puzzle.

Over time, he even remembered me and began to recognize me. The truth after the puzzle and the question: “When you remember me, you will remember me.” Then he got tired of fucking him... he just started forcing him to run around the team. First in the pins, then I learned myself.

The last time they saw me a few years ago... I was sitting in the car, he walked to me through the window with a standard miserable story, cuddled, stupidly smiled, “Oh... it’s you again... well, I ran, right?”

We have not seen since then.

I would like to believe that he is finally fine and he is no longer begging.

But most likely they just killed somewhere, for debts - he was forever mistaken at the halls of slot machines and there he planted everything he collected.

XXX: I sold the couch almost the same. Healthy corner sofa, all out of all kinds of fluids. I bet at all for 500 rubles only to pull them out of the entrance and take them away. No one call, in the end, the neighbor took for 10k :) with the amount he named himself

Maybe he is a fetish?

zzz: Just the neighbor with this sofa has a lot of pleasant memories. Part of divorces and neighbors.

The Ukrainians are such a proud people that even defeats they do not tolerate, but are obsessed with.

I work in the mine. They worked the shift, left, threw the dirty stuff and went forward into the shower. Bathing supplies are stored in a separate room, with each cvoi. We go in, pick up, swim, change clothes and put it back until the next shift.

The partner began to notice that the towel over the course of the day is still wet and the expensive shampoo is noticeably empty. The decision was simple: I bought five bubbles of greens, poured them into a shampoo and went on a weekend.

One day at work, colleagues talk about one of the bosses (far from poor). He goes into the shower, pouches shampoo from the soul and washes, green water flows from it. It continued around, I saw the egos who were at work that day. Without washing off the green, the chief of the bycttpo dressed up and literally fled the territory of the mine. He did not take any other belongings, but he remained Shrek.

It seems to me that to appoint a childless lady, who said, among other things, that “corruption in Russia is the purest myth,” to the post of deputy prime minister on social policy is the same as instructing Mutko to write an English language textbook for MGIMO students.

and Taxi.

Today, the girl initially refused to pay, and then threatened me with her boyfriend. I took her to one of our colleges. She is a student. On the way, she painted and weaved in her eye with a rodent stick (as she is called). She cried to me and then called her lover:

- Yura, meet me, here is not suitable for driving.

We come in, Yuri is there. Student, fashionable hairstyle, narrow pants with heels, weighing about 60 kg. With his hands, Jura tries to make himself a little wider, but the posture is more like a man who has worn watermelons with his ankles all his life:

Go on, go on, we will talk.

My passenger goes away, and I look at Yura and pretend not to break him in case he runs on me.

The man said goodbye to his wife and said to me:

Listen, man, what is your name? Yuri says in a very calm tone.

ExCoonMan

Tell me what happened to you?

I tell you. The boy silenced a little, looking at the side, and then said:

How much does the trip cost?

and 240.

Jura counts and draws my hand:

Without insults?

Without any insults.

I hold Yuri’s hand and leave.

A smart boy.

I read stories about bad neighbors. Finally, I’m ready to talk about my own.

I live in an ordinary new building in the bedroom area. And we have a chat at home, not even one, but two - on important issues and a fluid. I was very afraid to join them, expecting to see a complete inadequacy there, but now I boast of this chat before everyone who complains about their neighbors.

A recent story: a postman was fired at our post office and his workplace was not closed, which, in particular, also hit our house. It was discovered by chance in the same chat. And the next morning, a good neighbor went to the post office, took all the tickets for our house and laid them out on the entrances, and there, local activists, laid them out on the boxes.



Regularly in the chat home throw messages such as "red kia 999 - forgot to turn off the dimensions" or "found the keys in the playground". At any time of the day you can write to the chat and get help. So, one late evening in front of the plane, my phone began to behave inappropriately, I decided to take my old one with me, but the SIM card did not fit there. And at midnight my good neighbor borrowed me a switch.

You can always find out the contacts of a neighbor who has broken a pipe or a dog laughing loudly. We are pleased to discuss not only the rising tariffs and parking rules, but also the decoding of the Voynich manuscript.

Dear neighbors, if you suddenly read this, know - I am proud of you and happy to live with you under the same large roof!

My most stupid mistake in working as a nurse is to ask a heroin addict with a five-year experience: “Are you not afraid of injections? “”

P.S. For me, this is the standard phrase in this manipulation, because it was a case of fainting and hysteria.

What is written by a cat cannot be washed away afterwards.

One American went with friends on vacation in Hawaii to dive with aqualange and was taken to the hospital with a giant mole on his penis. The patient had serious breathing problems, vomiting, also heavily swollen face and lowered blood pressure.
The guy, recovering, said: "A friend was filming a diving on the camera, I decided to stick and pulled my penis into the shell, but the molluscum stuck him and did not let go. It was not painful and even pleasant. After a while I felt bad and only with the help of a partner was able to get out to the shore."
The allergy developed a little later, so the body responded to the digestive enzymes of the giant mole, which may have been trying to digest the penis.
Moral: Don’t go anywhere!

The ancient Greeks invented orgies, and the Romans guessed to invite women to them.

Grandmothers always worry about their grandchildren. But sometimes it goes to the absurd.

When I was 11, I had the honor of going to a chess competition in another city. One day, they were taken to play with a girl named Katya. The game ended in my favor, we shrugged each other’s hands and Katya left the room. I quickly set up the chess, noted the result and also went to the exit.

But the chief judge stopped and began a strange dialogue:

Ammwintersky, have you ever threatened Katie?

In the sense?

Katie’s grandmother said you threatened her with a knife under the table.

Am... a shock. Just imagine an 11-year-old girl in a strange city, without her parents, accused of threatening another child. There was no camera at the time, and my under-chess brain began to broadcast, “I’m a child, and that woman is an adult. They will believe me, but I will not.” When I was a child, I thought that adults were always right. Previous PostPrevious A Prostitute. It burned a week later.

It is good that Katya herself came and confirmed that there were no threats. My grandmother was just worried about her granddaughter. For her disqualification, Katy was barely disqualified. And I understood one thing for myself – how terrible a grandmother is when she is not yours.

The Metro. Three teenagers under the age of 16 for nothing to do began to open the door of the car while moving.

One of the most powerful, let’s say. He could not stand in place. The hormones strain his brain as much as they can. He was the inventor. The second is influenced. He helped open the door. The third was just watching. So, when the composition started to brake in the tunnel because of the activist’s joke, none of the passengers present interfered. But when they opened the door for the second time, it was wider and the driver asked to leave the door alone. I exploded. Because the first guy expressed the "funny" idea of sucking in the open door.

I understand (read: I hope and believe) that he was just joking. Then he said, “You fools! Get out of the door!”

None of the passengers paid attention to them.

The active guy pointed out his attitude to my words as a "psychic" woman. The door did not touch anymore. The second guy calmed down, and the first could not restrain himself and just started running on the wagon.

I went to the playground with the kids yesterday. The weather is nice, the mood is good. While my jumps and slides, I looked around the site territory and somehow the mood became smooth. A lot of rubbish. Apparently, someone sat well the day before, because on the site in different corners were: a box of cake, juice packages, five bottles of "Baltic" and other small garbage. I collected it all and threw it into the urn. But as she walked for garbage throughout the site, she heard at her address from the mother who was walking there with the child: "Mental something. He looks at the urn.

I stayed alone on the pitch. Two other mothers left.

I am psychic, I am in order. And they normally walked on the playground among the garbage.

I do not understand that. I don’t understand the people who run on children’s playgrounds. At least they would have cleaned up after them. But not.

And various psychic then clean them, so that they are not in the garbage themselves.

The Cultural Capital. The cultural people.

We had a difficult relationship with money. Sometimes we argue, but soon I start missing them.

Non-working pensioners are required to obtain an explanation on income.
But where does the mayor have a personal plane why the tax is clear and understandable...

The court rejected the petition of the investigation for the arrest of Deputy of the State Duma Belousov, suspected of receiving bribery in the amount of about 3.5 billion rubles. In court, the deputy stated that he did not take that money."
Arishukov: It could be so!? to