bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №135901
 14.11.2016
It is strange to be surprised at Trump’s victory, when he was supported by Chuck Norris.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №135900
 14.11.2016
NIKO: I am conducting a sociological survey )) answer a question, only honestly!
Have you ever used the services of a prostitute?
Axon: and if he used, but did not give money - it counts? and ;)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №135899
 14.11.2016
But no, why stress yourself, you can ignore it. It was my fault, I didn’t say it directly. And these men have female logic.

This is not female logic. I’m a woman and I don’t understand why I should do someone’s wishes on my own initiative. There was already experience. My mom just expresses her wishes "should be done". If you do, it means that she wanted, she did not ask, that is to say, she owes nothing to anyone, and you do not help her mother at all (everything that herself does not count). And if you didn’t do it means shit, you don’t help your mother at all and you don’t respond to her requests! Yes, it’s your fault, if you want to ask, ask, and don’t flatter like an idiot.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №135898
 14.11.2016
The LVTH6 tank

Child of India
It was distinguished by a very large crew, which consisted of 7 people: a commander, a guide, a charging...

And four dancers.


[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №135897
 14.11.2016
xxx: I was surprised to find out that the Collector is on TV. Per there are already people watching? Share your impressions!

YYY: What is it?

Zzz: Well, there’s a broadcaster and a base in the main roles.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №135896
 14.11.2016
Today is the best birthday of my life: I’ve eaten at McDonald’s twice.
Petya is 32 years old.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №135895
 14.11.2016
Straga: From the Leningrad station this morning all electric buses were delayed. This was not the case with Obama.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135894
 14.11.2016
Tagged with: "Keep the mark!"

Claymore: "I have dreamed of working at the Posthumous desk since childhood! We were even fed lemons to train the expression of the face!" Something reminds me... some domestic organization...

Outsider: I love it!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №135893
 14.11.2016
I moved from one unit to another on my birthday. Specifically, she got up early, wore a dress dress with a strap and came to work, hanging up with tastes. Half of the sweets were left in the old department, the second I pulled into the new department.



Two hours later I had to go to the new department for papers. Although I tried not to distract people from work, I was still noticed:

and Svetlana! Ruslan said, desperately wearing a spoonful in a fine piece of cream cake. I really feel that we will work.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135892
 14.11.2016
Discussion of the series:
HH: How will it affect afterwards? Will the secret be revealed?
He was killed :(
zzz: Thank you dear man for the spoiler without cat. As the shades of hair in the nostrils of the Chinese emperor discussed, so the cat, and about death without the cat.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №135891
 14.11.2016
Hypermarkets and network shops in a town of 25 thousand people, and still in the ass of the world? No network will go there. And if it goes, it will quickly stifle all these IPs and become a monopolist with even higher prices and low quality.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №135890
 14.11.2016
Comments on Yandex maps:
- The left row, the gazelle hit the logan.
The child has already swallowed.
I am being mined.)
And to me?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №135889
 14.11.2016
The fucking:

Manufacturers think and don’t break the children’s heads.
A 4-year-old daughter can’t understand why dolls are called bratz when they’re actually sisters!

Yes, because brat is translated as “a broken child” and has nothing to do with brothers and sisters.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №135888
 14.11.2016
XXX: Work is a shit
You’re just 5 days a week, you don’t do stupid work.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №135887
 14.11.2016
I will avenge, and my vengeance will be terrible.
YYYYYYYYYYYY?
zzz: By the way, you knew that Mda is the left side of Msta (Novgor. and обл.Is it falling into the Wonder Lake?

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №135886
 14.11.2016
I eat crab sticks.only in taste they are neither fige nor crab, although I did not eat crabs, but I doubt that they taste soap.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №135885
 14.11.2016
A friend told me the story. He is already in his age, accordingly, the story happened in the last century, when he was studying at the institute.

Lectures on Mat. The analysis. Prepod tells something, writes on a board. Then suddenly he dies, and without saying a word, flows out of the audience.

The reason came to light later. It turned out that he was driving with his granddaughter in a tram, taking her to the garden. On the way, he saw his institute and left. And about the granddaughter I remembered only in the middle of the lecture and ran to look for her. She, in turn, did not get confused and went to the right stop. So it all ended safely.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №135884
 14.11.2016
Today at training I watch, a man alone, doing exercise after exercise, almost without a break. in a circle. I stand, I am really surprised by the man's length, and it became interesting, I ask him (I am I, M is a man).

I am what you have, Crossfit?

M - No, it's called you need an hour and 45 minutes to get the little one from another workout.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №135883
 14.11.2016
Me and my girlfriend. She read the book “Fantastic Beasts and Where They Live” and I slept. I woke up and she asked me:

Do you think there are any fantastic creatures in the world?

Without thinking he replied:

Look in the mirror.

I thought there would be a scandal. But she stood up and looked under the corner so that she could see me.

And indeed. Go browse, the snowman.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №135882
 14.11.2016
Sometimes I feel like a witch. There was something huge and striking in the kitchen, and it started to revolve around the lamp. After applying the anti-aircraft missile towel, it was embarrassed to hang on the back on the floor. It turned out to be a frog with horns like a frog. Deported to the fortress.
In a few minutes it will fly again. And even the expedition and his friend brought - while he was thrown out, a new hernia is already circling. Well, or managed to fly back straight away.
He passed the badminton pass for the third time — and lost sight.
And the silence.
The cat is already connected, at least the black box is found. And he sits, therefore, on a towel, grabbed and looks pleasantly with black eyes. Well, not to leave it, or else the chips will have to be shared.
Mareshev was placed outside the window and stunned by the controller from the window, and he never returned. Probably offended.
Searched in Google, as his passport, turned out to be a banal May bug. That is how we met.

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