bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №59173
 26.01.2012
xxxxxxxxxxx:
Exam in General Biology.
A guy sits down, tells his ticket, a topic that is related to genes.
Prepod asks what is "Mul" (horse + donkey)
Parnishi answered the whole audience: "Mul, this is a male mulat"

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №59172
 26.01.2012
You are not in my taste.
And you try...

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №59171
 26.01.2012

Dmitry
I woke up in the morning, started going to work and searched for the keys to the car for an hour.

lady
Shouldn’t you get to work?

Dmitry
Happened

Dmitry
I do not have a car.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №59170
 26.01.2012
Yesterday I drank beer with Munich sausages, almost like on vacation))
You have a dry law.
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №59169
 26.01.2012
An embargo on oil supplies from Iran has been imposed. About 68% are in Greece, Italy and Spain.

The anecdote. The most economically weak countries are also offered to pay for foreign political benefits.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №59168
 26.01.2012
Only when he learned that the crocodiles had no bladder, he understood why the crocodile Gene walked in a hat, shirt, tie, jacket, but - without pants.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №59167
 26.01.2012
I just finished in the 7th ward.
YYY: And how then?
Unusual, but you can live.
xxx: in general, like everywhere, the question is the same:"where is this fucking thing"

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №59166
 26.01.2012
The xxx:
I will cut off a piece of wallpaper. The tape strip will symbolize the film tape, and the broken piece - the emptiness that is present in modern cinema, I will tear the wallpaper for 2 hours, all the time shooting on the phone camera. No arthouse will work.

YYYY :
Shit will work.
Pick up a clitoris in pop paint and scratch on the wallpaper with salps
This is Art House.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №59165
 26.01.2012
<NPOQFK> fucking if God exists
<NPOCPFC> the engineer of intelligence who invented the attachment of the cooler to 478 sockets is now fucking in hell

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №59164
 26.01.2012
by Morihel:
From the worker. A client calls and holds my brain for a long time. Because he turned on the erotic channel late in the evening, and there was a *dramatic break* of gay porn! Well, accordingly, it demands that this channel be removed, evil and propaganda, horror! I gently explain that one channel cannot be removed from the package, but all adult channels are blocked. You can simply not remove the block and it will not show.
No, take it away.
- Okay, if you want, you can change the standard unlock code to some of your own, and then none of your households will be able to accidentally watch this channel.
No, take it away!
And then a genius phrase.
Girl, you do not understand! I will know that he is there!

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №59163
 25.01.2012
The xxx:
p.s Previously, I thought that diamonds were only on women's rings, and men were wearing the same thing, so I got upset.
YYYY :
Of course they wear, this is an offgenic glass cut.

[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59162
 25.01.2012
VT: in our office sits a man - shareholder, one of the 5 richest people in the world
I told him to make tea.
VT: How do I make him fucking tea?
VT: from what? ?
VT: from the packed tea Princess Nouri?
Arinbjorn: Noah
Arinbjorn: Tell me what this tea was brought by a virgin laurel, who was fed with golden flies in Tibet for 30 months by blind hands-free monks-homosexuals

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №59161
 25.01.2012
XXX: Read the joke, yesterday at work happened!
xxx: Approaches my partner with my parents and complains "Alexandrovna, and Yura called me a bad word!"
What is "What is???and "
Tagged with: "Children"
Man on the nerves "And what??? Is that a terrible word??? Stop running out"
The child "...learning"
The man "?? to

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №59160
 25.01.2012
Is ice cream better than sausages?
Smoking is even better than sausages!

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59159
 25.01.2012
Never ever! Never, after finishing watching porn on the notebook, do not close the cover and do not turn it into sleep mode! Who knows when, and most importantly, to what audience you will open it next time!! to

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №59158
 25.01.2012
I felt a double feeling today when I was driving with a taxi driver listening to a soundtrack for GTA 3. On the one hand, I wanted to get a shotgun and steal a couple of cars, on the other hand, I was afraid that the driver was about to go to the meeting and the trailer would be thrown into the truck...

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №59157
 25.01.2012
A frosty winter day, the office on the basement floor, came apparently from the municipality, to smash the caterpillar. After a 10-minute ride in the glass flooded the icebergs, imitating a bombing. A colleague next to the button from the external blinds, without breaking away from work, pressed it and in the office slightly began to darken, loud sounds rolled around the room. A loud voice, full of panic: “All the energy on the shields!!! Everyone is ready for a hyper race!! Bring us out of here, we will not last long.”

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №59156
 25.01.2012
I have a very good wife. If by night I kill everyone in the apartment, wash dishes, prepare meals for tomorrow, wash, do lessons with children, then she allows, after falling asleep, to quietly watch porn on the Internet.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №59155
 25.01.2012
Yesterday the footage on the television killed...there was some joke about detectives...that is, the scene. The grandmother and the man argue, the grandmother is psychotic and runs out on the street, there she is hit by a car on the road.it means the body is in the blood on the car's cap, then the man begins to shout: "Julia, Julia, what happened to you? andquot;
and bleak. I don’t know what happened, I got poisoned with cake.

[ + 50 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59154
 25.01.2012
SES: Here’s it, pops, now we know how to create holograms. The Japanese learned to transmit tactile sensations through the Internet, smells. If in the future the holograms are made of something more dense, then we will be able to create the effect of a full human presence in a place where it really is not!
Elakva: I’m watching you’re not leaving your ideas of creating interactive prostitution.
Yes, how would it be)

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