One man installed a special system to prevent his dog from escaping the site: a fence with sensors and a necklace. The essence of the device is that when approaching the fence, the collar begins to feed. If the dog runs out of the boundaries, it will be hit by a weak current discharge.

Every morning the dog approaches the fence, the collar begins to feed, the dog waits for the sound in the collar, the battery does not sit down and runs away.

XXX: I was called from the rooster. Good day! Comfortable to talk?

And I said, stay on the line, your call is very important to me, and I put a call to hold up... They gave up in three minutes.

No more calls, Tufo Tufo.

When there are 33 boys and 23 girls, this is the perfect combination. My husband and I now have 34, and she has 22. I recently decided to arrange dinner at a restaurant. Crabs, wine and pasta Alfredo. Then they walked around the city, complained to each other, so they reached the subway and went home.

Sex was unforgettable, magical! 10 years ago, when we first met.



YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I drink tea with my wife. She has a romantic mood.

Do you want me to be my wife again? Wedding is better than the first time.

Okay, but you have to get divorced then.

We sit still.

I recently broke up with a girlfriend. 7 years of relationship and I just forgot how to frame the virgins. The cherry on the cake was fat. And today I caught myself in the thought that with my appearance, every step looks and feels crazy and crazy. The appearance decides, no matter how sad it is.



Yyy: There are even more grooves and the podcats will be beautiful, like bowling.

In ignorance it is easier to live, but it is harder to survive.

Our cat guarded a mouse for two nights and finally caught it. Proud and satisfied, he came to his mother’s room, jumped up on the bed and offered her a meal. She, trying not to envy, refuses, “No, no, boy, thank you, eat yourself!” The cat looked at her, then went to the kitchen, placed the mouse on his wardrobe and eaten.

When Frederick the Great inspected the Berlin prison, all the prisoners swore to be innocent, and only one confessed to sitting for the robbery. What will you do here? Friedrich ordered that this robber be immediately thrown out of prison, so that he would not have a bad influence on the decent people gathered here.

I was asked by a Turkish man in Germany. The further dialogue:

Are you Russian?

and yes.

I also have a Russian friend at work.

And this Turk worked as a sanitary in the hospital.

Yes, I am polently surprised (in Germany more than 2 million Russians, some of them probably work in hospitals).

Yes, you know, such a good guy, very polite, always willing to help if anything.

They silenced. After the pause, the Turk resumed the dialogue:

Don’t you know what the term “frog” means?

Xxx: What fucking youth? What about SOPA? There are all kinds of exams, complexes, broken hearts, an uncertain future.

If you go back, go to the kindergarten. He came neither in the morning nor in the morning, ate, played, and slept in the afternoon!!! Careful teachers, good food! Sleep, eat again, play again in what you have invented! If you are lucky, maybe one of the girls will show the ass! In the fucking! And then dinner, home. And tomorrow again!! to

I would like to go back to the time when I was working in the kindergarten.

Do not let God give you a wife!

Once I was about four years old. A new year, my uncle, and my uncle, who we have a common language. I sowed a lamp from the girland, the celebration was under question, my father shook. As a result, I am in the corner, standing, missing. And here comes my savior, uncle! He asked why, for how long. He said, “Say, forgive me, Uncle Toll, I will not be there anymore. You can walk around the apartment.” I said everything as asked!
He went out, happy, eaten, to meet his father. He looks harshly, clarifies from which I am not in the corner? The guy was obedient, I explain that he apologized to his uncle, he felt upset and let go.
A few minutes later I stood with my uncle both in the corner, he in one, and I in the other. My uncle was nine.

The first date.
She said, “The main thing is not to let him know that I have children.”
Will I order a dessert?
If you want a dessert, eat vegetables first.

xxx: Ten years ago, at work, they were discussing who would want what superpower. I chose not to need sleep. With each year, the desire to have such a super power only strengthens.



With this superpower, you can free up a third of your life. But wish you a couple of millions of dollars and you will free two-thirds of your life by just giving up your job.

Well, as I said below, the teleport is really imba. You still free up the time spent on the road.



zzz: Imagine what imba this ability is for couriers)



XXX is a man. He is given a teleport, freedom from sleep, and he first thinks how well he will work as a courier.

At the previous job in the other department, a girl worked alone. Thin one, and also with a tail, in jeans, and that’s all. I like that look, but I didn’t communicate with her. I knew she was there, and that was all.

Once in the dining room happened. I came a little later, took the only free table, I sat down, I ate, I didn’t touch anyone. Here she comes. I was late, there was only a free place in front of me. She asked for my desk, but I did not refuse. At first she was somewhat weird and ate slowly, but then we talked, and it turned out that we even had some common interests. Then we walked a little after work, and the next day agreed to sit in the cafe.

Okay, she came there, settled, and here she came. Later, I guessed it was her. At a full combat parade, with bright lips, lengthy nails, with a fierce push-up and huge heels, from which she almost fell. In the right dress and with the right hair. In short, ugly, unnatural, vulgar and provocative. I recognized her by her voice, but not immediately. Very surprised. Well, we sat down and talked.

I chose the coffee by chance. There you could order a delicious pizza with sauce from fermented Habanero. I warned her that the pizza was spicy but tasty. She said she also loves spicy, and I definitely ordered this pizza. Maybe it’s because we started communicating very easily and I quickly started trusting her.

In general, we talked for another 20 minutes, brought us a pizza, and I started to chew it with pleasure. She ate one piece, seemingly somewhat insecure for the second. And I sit happy, eat, sometimes I say something. I look at her, and her whole face is red, her pupils are narrow, her hands tremble, and her eyes are filled with tears. And here it broke. Soup, tears, saliva and that’s all. The body flowed abundantly, the eyelids grabbed one eye, she tried to fix them, wrapped herself in the closed eye with a nail, began to give her voice, and she became even worse. In short, this was already the third “image”, if you can say so.

I, after a second stupor, understood what it was, quickly went to the box office and ordered a large portion of ice cream. Fortunately, the coffee worker also understood it.

In general, somehow brought this sufferer into feelings, fed ice cream, ate pizza, watched, and she tries to squeeze out on her heels. On the road, he is still stumbling, almost falling. It turns out that at that moment she understood how I see her now and she was terribly upset.

I followed her and led her home. Their own. Because he was closer. There already insisted that she went to the shower and washed off all the combat color. Then we talked to her. It turned out, I liked her very much, and she wanted to make a good impression on me, attracted a girlfriend, and together they painted her so. Well, the most sharp thing she has eaten in her life before this is the red wing and wings from the KFS. But she wanted to show that we have similar tastes in food. I told her that in the form in which she appears daily at work, I like her straight much more, and the common interests with us and without spicy food will be found.

In the morning, I was awakened by a loud sound from the toilet. Because spicy food, I remember, burns twice.

In general, we have been married for 7 years, and the history of our acquaintance without laughter we do not remember. We’re sitting here now, eating pizza, but we’re already having a hallapeno. I look at her, and this is not the girl at work, but an ancient paleozoic earthquake from Lake Loch Ness. On the clock, or three are written, or the hour is fifteen.

You lie, you will not take it!



Those who encountered sharp fighting cockroaches are not afraid even the most bold fighting mosquitoes.



© Dmitry Sviridov

How to cure dangerous diseases

The famous therapist Sergey Botkin turned to a wealthy merchant suffering from diabetes, obesity and hypertension. He offered the doctor a lot of money, but Botkin replied that he would only take treatment on one condition: if the patient, taking only a kitten with bread, without money will go on foot to Odessa, where treatment will begin. The buyer was shocked to hear. But since he had no other choice (all his illnesses were considered incurable), he only had to agree and go on the way. On the way, he asked for help, stopped for a night in the villages, ate what God sent, walked more than 2,000 kilometers and eventually reached his destination in the hope of a doctor's help. Botkin looked at him and asked why he appeared if he was a perfectly healthy person. The buyer was surprised. However, he had no signs of obesity, diabetes, or hypertension.

The day before it was wet snow, and it froze at night. And when I went to work in the morning, I understood why in Russia the best figurists...

Take everything from life today, tomorrow it will be more expensive.

One day, a man was taken to the regional hospital by ambulance with a suspicion of a stroke: two words cannot be linked, the look is absent, sluggish, almost not moving. The patient was examined. Obviously everyone, the young, drunk, immediately put the droplets. It is three hours, the man and sleep, like, and droplets do not help - washes, turns his eyes. In the evening, change of doctors. The morning doctor gives the patient, explains - his wife at home found it, immediately called the doctors, came, examined and delivered with a stroke
We put droplets, but somehow unsuccessful yet. The receiving doctor was interested, looked closer at the patient. He approached sharply and cleverly returned his jaw to his place. The patient is pleased, the doctor thanks quite clearly already and explains: in the evening with friends they drank, argued and one in his jaw moved. From the pain and drunken he immediately fell asleep, and his wife found, counted, called an ambulance, so here and got. The doctor asked why he agreed to the dropper? The man honestly replied: doctors should be trusted! Would it suddenly help?