A photographer is a person who managed to keep the first thing in his soul: "Oh you, photocopies!
I’ll click someone.”

Pure English Mentality

Near our house there is an English supermarket, belonging to the largest chain of British supermarkets. We arrive there after eight or nine in the evening. Reductions begin at this time. Products dated by today's number are priced to the limit. I don’t know why, but at this time it’s as unpopular as always. On a special shelf lies food, preyed ten or more times, and only a rare old lady is interested in it.

What I will tell next is very difficult for a simple person to understand (I only understood this from the third time, and then not to the end): among the extortioned goods are products with the motto: "buy two - get one for free". That is, for example, two packs of bacon, each pound, together cost one pound. Until the assessment. Now imagine that they were valued up to ten pennies. Now for these two packages you pay ten pence, and one pound is returned to you! The account is down -1.00! yesterday
Romka went to the supermarket, picked up four bags of food, and the young English treasurer said a little crazy: "Sorry, I can't understand anything: we owe you 3 pounds... " “Well,” they say, “sorry, we can’t give you the money, so you’ll buy something for that amount.”

If you do not understand, read the previous paragraph again.

Dad eats a candy, a little boy rolls around.
Wife: What, Daddy doesn’t give you sweets?
Husband (melancholic): - Mother does not give, Dad does not share...

On the 1st channel, there is one detective series in the evening, where cool uncles for DNA analysis calculate criminals. Today we are showing another series. At some point, a room like a morgo appears on the screen, on the table lies a corpse covered with a shell. A pathologist rubs something clever about injuries that are incompatible with life, approaches the table with a corpse and rubs a slug from it.
Apparently, the corpse did not expect such a turn of events... and... the whole TV will be flashed! I forgot to remove it XD))

I have a shaman father: from the morning to the frost he leads the seven, it is in no one, it goes out and grit: it is worse if you do not start new wheels and paint you do not see! The fucking! He hits the wheel with his foot, sits down, starts!!! I’m in a shock ?

What is "Lost" in English?
Is at home...

My wife is an English teacher.
One of her students answered a message (book for 1 class):
I have a sister, her name is Kate. I have a dog, his name is Spot. I have a cat, her name is Pussy.
A girlfriend, a corrupt man, unnoticedly smiles; but the child seeks:
My sister doesn't like to play with Spot. She likes to play with Pussy.

My father is worried)
He is, as far as I understand, afraid that I am fucking.

xx: And you know that while the princes are hanging somewhere, normal girls have to date horses?
Xy: I will disappoint you. If a girl forgot about the "prince" for the sake of meetings with horses, then she was the cow herself, otherwise she would not have been on the horses.
XX: How did you call me??? Do not write to me anymore!! to
xx goes offline
Xy burned herself.

E is!{uk: Here everyone says magic does not exist, magic is the fate of the rollers, but at the same time every self-respecting Russian knows how to cast 3 basic curses: 01- protection from fire, 03- replenishment, and my favorite 02- challenge demons.

During that thunderstorm from direct hitting the house burned a laptop at my neighbor, disconnected from the Internet and power network. that is. Galvanically independent, he also burned the magnetophone imported three pieces, the adidas cedds and the virginity of his daughter.

XXX: Listen, and how to bring the young man pleasure?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY ;)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

(in the evening)
XXX: What is a minet?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
xxx: well we were given the test, there was the question was what you would give a young man (girl) on the first date? I didn't know what to write, I think you know better.
YYY: Search in Wikipedia)
( the silence )
XXX: I will kill you!
XXX: I thought it was a job of some sort!You are totally nonsense?! to
YYYY: “ROFL” what did you write there?
xxx: "On the first date I would give a modest gift-made by me personally passes well and so on in the same way" I will kill you tomorrow!! to

Raskalbas: And we had a typhoon in the class, so he made himself a precise computer layout from cardboard, inserted sheets into the monitor, and wrote on the program sheet in pascal) and life as a PC.
Raskalbas: Then he bought a real PC... no one has seen him again))

111 neon condoms)
222 of them!!!Are they burning in the dark?
111 Well...not to burn...it’s not Bengal condoms.

She told her boyfriend about a movie she recently watched:
There’s also Katy Perry’s husband.
and stop! Does she have a husband? The fucking!
“Yes, I’m also very sad that Johnny Depp has two children.

My mother and sister are cooking cake in the kitchen.
What else would you like to decorate the cake?
Cut on the rings)

Visit cards are broken to distinguish a personally handed out visit card from the one sent by mail, attached to documents, transmitted through agents and other methods of delivery of visits. The blown card means that it was handed over personally and with the person you know personally.

I bought the King on Saturday. :)
xxx: Kolya number received - x022cm
WOW: Is it true?
Yes no, less of course.)
I am about the car!! to

<nm> delayer: there were times of shit, I remember carrying a disc in my pocket with jpg tile, slipped in the winter and pipet - no tile

I couldn’t give up on volleyball, no matter how I tried. The last time we go with a friend to the sports hall to try our luck, the rest are waiting for us on the bench near the institute. Sitting under the grit 100 times and I will deliver. Without any problems, I sit down, my friend thinks, the teacher is watching..... once at 90m one of the classmates calls, say you where, we waited, and I answer something like: "..aaaaah..даа..щааас..yet a little huhuut..", he throws the tube in a *u. After the receipt, I go out sweaty and satisfied and on the stretching half curved legs I go down to my astonished classmates... Should I say that I have long forced them to believe in the true cause of my condition))))