bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №75765
 13.01.2013
A neighbor speaks on the phone:
When I was a child, I was a Donatello ninja turtle, so I can not stop with a stick.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №75764
 13.01.2013
Rolla: Vasya, you are a drunk muddy! When I told you to turn off the blonde, it meant not to fuck out about “I don’t want to shake my hands” and burn the mangal. Do not send a flower to the necklace!

[ + 28 - ] [9 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №75763
 13.01.2013
References to an IBP:
8 years of compact dumb from the router I pull out when hanging, I work every day, and none once broke - why IBS at all
For 8 years, I stopped the car by crashing into a tree when it rages, I drive every day, and never broke - why do I need brakes at all?
For 8 years, I stopped the Bulgarian toothlessly with her teeth when she was ragged, I cut every day, never broken - why safety equipment is needed at all.
I have been writing for 8 years without SEO. I can’t write anything.) The computer is constantly crashing.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №75762
 13.01.2013
Commentary on the film on the router:
In this princess, such a simple, in general, that unattainable filmmaker. You can see. There is no mouth. There is no wild fool. There is no pseudo-intellectual madness. There is no excess pathos and excess retention. There is a black man in the film and he is not dead. A very original course...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №75761
 13.01.2013
xxx: girls, do you really smell your sperm face like a cream?
Only the lips.
ZZZ: only YYY

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №75760
 13.01.2013
I go early in the morning from work through the market. In front of me are the bumerang and his madam, the bumerang pulls a heavy bag, the madam wraps behind him. Bohm puts his bag and says to Madam:
I pulled my bag, I had to smoke.
Then give me a cigarette.
I: I do not smoke.
I went to my wife, I couldn’t smoke.

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №75759
 13.01.2013
I see the more illiterate a guy is, the more he cries, pointing to the place of women.
Relax now bear. And that is the feeling that you are waving over your head with a banner with your complexes.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №75758
 12.01.2013

xxxxxxxxxxx:
Do you want to have a girlfriend?

WOW :
Fuck a difficult question.

xxxxxxxxxxx:
Take it and answer now.

WOW :
You can crack for a week.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №75757
 12.01.2013
Commentary on the list of actors of one Korean film:
"In the main roles were filmed slogs, and in the other letters!"

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №75756
 12.01.2013
F: I was in Dmitrovskaya, the car broke
D is strong?
F is half...

[ + 14 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №75755
 12.01.2013
Better cellulite in the hands than a silicone on the TV

[ + 32 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №75754
 12.01.2013
Pavol: 70% of us consider themselves Orthodox and consider themselves high-spiritual. At the same time, 70% of the country cheats on grandmothers and cheats on each other. And obviously these multitudes are intersecting, if, of course, we do not have 146% of the population.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №75753
 12.01.2013
If your sense of humor never conflicts with humanity, you don’t have either one or the other.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №75752
 12.01.2013
I don’t understand why they didn’t take Bezrukov into the role of Rosomaha, much better would have been Hugh Jackman.
Yyy: And the role of Iron Man then Gosha Kuzhenko can be taken, all better Robert Downey Jr.
Zzz: Under the direction of Mikhalkov of course.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №75751
 12.01.2013
Girl: Maybe the end of the world was, and now we are re-born, we are re-creating! You will soon have a third eye opened.
I opened my third eye after the holidays. But I drank the festival and it was fine again!

[ + 38 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №75750
 12.01.2013
Bewarden:...I want to show you what questions you can’t ask in the U.S. when interviewing a candidate: family status, gender and sexual orientation,...
Star1ck is tolerant. Family status, gender and sexual orientation. and Paul? Are you really in your Americas? Suppose I am an employer, I have the right to know what sex being I take to work in a bordel.)))

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №75749
 12.01.2013
The VKontakte.
Deffacko: I will live my life with the one who even in the greatest quarrel will say you need me... who will fight for our love with me... who will not let me fear anything, even that I can lose it... who, having heard from me I don’t love you, will embrace and say you will have to love... who, even when busy, can find time, call and ask how you are, dear?
HH: One of them?
With my mom!

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №75748
 12.01.2013
Yesterday I went to see "Anna Karenina". After the session, two women, wearing nork jerseys, passionately discussed what they saw.

One lady says to her friend, “I didn’t expect her to jump under the train, honestly I didn’t expect it!”

The second with interest supported her: "And I did not expect such a tragedy at the end..."

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №75747
 12.01.2013
XXX: Greetings to my sister!
I found my girlfriend at the end!
YYY: Congratulations))) only "finally" is written
YYY: although... in this case and separately =)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №75746
 12.01.2013
A couple of days ago, my wife bought a running alarm. It’s nice to come to work on time, of course, but I bought a pneumatic gun today. I work at night!

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