bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149894
 21.03.2018
Reporting in the Company:
xxx: I recorded the task in redmain "Recording tasks in redmain - 4 hours", but I was told not to do so anymore

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №149893
 21.03.2018
The answer is one:

> is right And other things - blends and pancakes! Down the Foreigners!
And if seriously - it's the same thing, but in a different recipe.

"Only "Grenka" can’t cost eight dollars, and "crouton" can".

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149892
 21.03.2018
This is:

I watch the old Soviet cartoon "The Secret of the Third Planet".
Alice Selezneva, all the work.

There are two episodes in the eye:

1st They fly on the flyer, suddenly the flyer breaks and descends to the ground, they come out and go on foot, Captain Green begins to repair it.
2nd The spacecraft lands, one support is not opened to the end, the brave captain jumps out and brings the support to a normal position.

This is how much this Soviet habit of believing that the fucking working technology is normal, that even the screenwriters included it in the cartoon!

The twenty-second century!

They have a flame falling from the sky.
Their ship's support is not fully revealed!

But all the Niibatzos are heroic captains.

Swallow, his mother
– – – +

The twenty-second century, the twenty-first century, the twenty-first century, the twenty-first century, the twenty-first century, the twenty-first century, the twenty-first century, the twenty-first century, the twenty-first century, the twenty-first century, the twenty-first century, the twenty-first century, the twenty-first century, the twenty-first century, the twenty-first century, the twenty-first century, the twenty-first century, the twenty-first century, the twenty-first century, the twenty-first century, the twenty-first century. Behold, you are a trunk, not by time, but by spirit.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №149891
 21.03.2018
No so
It is so

"Store" is the same borrowed as "shopping", a word from the times when French was in fashion. The French borrowed it from the Arabs.

Is it hard to borrow another word to refer to the same concept, if the first was perfectly lived? Then, when the fashion of Anglicism passes, will we introduce Chinese terms?

Then that is not the same.
In most cases, if you dig, borrowing is justified. In particular, shopping is not "going shopping" (which is already 2.5 times longer than shopping), it is specifically "going shopping for pleasure, not buying really necessary things." There is no such word in Russian and there has never been. And, say, prank is not just a joke, but a certain class of jokes. And not every noise of hip hop, and not every motorcyclist, and not every horror of crypto. The meaning of the borrowed word often differs from the meaning of both our analogues and, that is characteristic, the foreign original. Rarely there are accurate, unattracted replacement for the ears. The language is borrowed and enriched.
A reserved language is a dead language.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №149890
 21.03.2018
When I was 20, my father bought me a room. A total of rooms on the 8th floor, respectively, cabin with toilets 4 - one for 2 rooms. When I went there, I immediately replaced the old toilet for a new compact at my own expense, since the old one was almost 50 years old, still with a "butt for a rope" tank. The other "co-owner" did not live there, his room was empty. After some time the room was sold and the new owners let the tenants. They pulled a "fashionable" colored toilet and put it without notifying me, because I didn't live in my room at the time, wheeled on business trips. My "white friend" was taken away by them in an unknown direction.

I come on vacation somehow, in a week the neighboring tenants gathered together. And then I get an extremely interesting offer from them - to pay for a fashionable fashion miracle of 5000 Re, the type, they put it, spent. It was in 2010, which made up such a crazy amount, I still don’t understand. I, of course, refused, referring to the fact that bought by me, almost new, they replaced by their own lust and for it I did not take money from anyone.

I left for my business all day. In the evening, a huge surprise awaited me - their toilet, unpaid by me, they forged and took with them. And I left a hole in the floor and pieces of cement, for memory.

The next day I bought myself a new, though not very fashionable - white color - for 3500 Re.

I wonder, somewhere now these tenants and are they driving all their rental apartments their fashionable green miracle?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №149889
 21.03.2018
I saw the day that was darker than the night, and the night that the light burned the eyes.
“Petrovich, let’s go, we’ve heard about your trips to the north a hundred times.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №149888
 21.03.2018
I am going hysterically.
Getting to Depressive
and anxiously
I take tablets

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149887
 21.03.2018
>>>A little more - and they will get to "the Bolsheviks undercover stole the deserved victory from Germany".

“Welcome to Mexico – Silver Prize winner of the Mexican-American War”

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149886
 21.03.2018
And you, the sociophobes, who are isolated from society by the stream of sound shit (yes, for most of you it is not music, but shit) from the player, sit better at home.

And you, the authoritative music critics, indicating who and where to sit, go better naked. And don’t forget to capture your own super-value but unwanted opinion about other people’s audio tastes.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №149885
 21.03.2018
Would you read the whole news about the rhinoceros before you panic, or did you have a scientist who raped a journalist? First, the northern white is not a species, but a subspecies of a white rhinoceros, which are still a couple - three thousand safely grazing. Secondly, it was in this case that the sperm of the last male was cautiously frozen, so that the two females still have a chance.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149884
 21.03.2018
You probably didn’t have any luck in college.

The less problems people have, the happier people are.

The more solved problems a person has, the happier he is.
That is, if problems do not arise at all, a person turns into a vegetable, the result is unhappy.
In addition, over time, the same type of problems cease to exist and more and more complex problems need to be solved in order to maintain an acceptable level of happiness.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №149883
 21.03.2018
"In our country, many are offended when they learn that for the work of others it is necessary to pay."

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149882
 21.03.2018
wut: - I will explain why you need a live corrector on the example of the phrase "the laboratory staff for the collection of tests tried that there is urine"

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149881
 21.03.2018
I saw in the Western Pharmacopoeia such a word form: flavours with fentanyl, their children are given if, for example, their hand is broken, they suck the flavour, get anesthetic and they can be twisted.
You can make salty cucumbers with a hepatoprotector.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №149880
 21.03.2018
I sit in the evening without touching anyone, reading a book. The husband arrives, begins to dress up: “All the little girl has fallen asleep, I’m ready.” I pulled out the book, awaiting the continuation, removed the maika, bowed, whispered:
M: Let’s go now...or I’ll forget.
I am – Eeeeem? OOO
M: What is it? I told you half an hour ago, my back hurts, I need to wipe the ointment, let’s now, or then I’ll forget.)))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №149879
 21.03.2018
We live in a country of bright future. I want to live in a world of light!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149878
 21.03.2018
The year 90. of Donetsk. The USSR.
There is a smell of money and pogroms in the air.
Some have already had them.
In the sense of money.
In other words, the pogroms.
In these circumstances, I am collecting manats to Israel. All affairs have already been settled, documents have been handed over and received, dollars have been exchanged, withdrawals have been paid to the state. I say goodbye to the city, friends and friends. Often in the evenings I sit in visits to a couple of close friends (Slavs), where we tremble for life and for Israel.
Friends have a daughter aged 4-5, who listens and absorbs our conversations and sometimes disturbs us with her childish ringing and disgusting voice.
A friend’s wife travels once a month with her daughter to their parents in Gorlovka.
In the bus.
The people rejected. In the good sense.
The next is from the words of my friend’s wife, decorated by me.
On the right of advertising: I sell oil paints consecrated by the 13th Apostle. and personally.)

They go by bus to Gorlovka. The morning. and autumn. The opposite rain.
Ugly and ugly.
The people in the bus are dark and angry. Especially those who are not lucky enough to sit.
The girl becomes bored and sad.
In order to dispel the sadness, a conversation with my mother was chosen.
The voice is loud and ringing.
The topic is, of course, the most appropriate.
(On the whole bus, irritating sleeping passengers) Mom! Where are we going?
and quiet! to Grandma.
- (The word "silent" is perceived as a guide to increase the volume) And when will we go to Israel?
The dark proletariat and the students who have joined it are interested in potential Jews.
Tension is increasing.

Silence, daughter, we are not going to Israel. Uncle Sasha is going to Israel.
(After feeling the awakening public attention, even louder) When are we going to Israel?
The people start to choke and ask each other whether they are going on the route, who is going out at the next stop in Israel, etc.
- (With the cheeks of the colour of first-class Russian rubies) Quiet, daughter, we can’t go to Israel. We are not allowed there.
After a brief pause, during which the Slavic girl suddenly discovered all the injustice of this world, the wickedness of the Jews in general and the Zionists in particular.
All the bus...
At the level of 130 decibels.
Oh yeah yeah yeah! Oh my mom!!! I want to go to Israel!!!! to

The further journey was undergoing continuous gooths and screams of the public.
The Woman! I want to go to Israel too!
I want to marry Uncle Sasha.
I want to go to Paris!
If you go to Israel, you pay for tickets.
I’m going to go to Nice!
Miner Haifa is a champion!
And the driver's verdict on the speaker:
Fuck you, not Israel. The bus is going to Biobidjan!

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №149877
 21.03.2018
Do you remember Yavlinsky? We’ll see him next time in six years.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №149876
 21.03.2018
>>>Even after the bombardment of the heights, (where is it at the tractor factory building of 73,5-100m high?) Those on which the roofs are fixed, It was difficult to shoot from the premises into the zenit) the fight did not stop. The Germans moved forward, pushing both guns and girls (which are on the roof of the 73.5m-high building). >>>>

At the time, buildings of 70+ meters were a monstrous rarity, and the height or height was called the defensive position on the hill / high point of the terrain. Everything will immediately get to its place.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149875
 21.03.2018
Separate branches are needed: first, Emergency moral support to get to the grandmothers on a leap of pressure, to show human attention, to listen to how forty years in the factory worked, the husband to the mistress dropped, the son drunk, and grandchildren are only waiting for her death, the maximum inked or excavated, second, educational, when the fourteen-year-old whistleblower came home drunk, and his mother, whistleblower was uncomfortable, demands that the baby wash the stomach to do, third, the real need for emergency medical care, which neither babies nor mothers will distract.

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