When I was 5, I remember asking my parents for a dog. Or a cat. In general, something lively and furry that you can have fun playing with. The parents refused and then asked, “Do you want a monkey?”



This is not a dog, and I knew little about monkeys, but the offer still thrilled me.



I: The real one?

R : Of course!

I: And she will live at our house without a cage and can play with her?

R is yes!



Then came my brother.

The president noted that in no place in the world a manager earns less than his employees.

He probably does not know that there is no concept of revenue anywhere in the world, but there is a profit.

I approach the passageway, people are tired there: someone is passed, someone is waiting for documents, etc.
I sweep my hand into the pocket where the radio frequency label for the turniquet should be placed, and I just touch a pack of new crispy thousand notes. Before that, he took it off in the ATM, put it down and rolled it into his pocket. It is clear that the flat pass just found somewhere inside the package between the notes. Looking for and removing lazy. Even if in the center of the package - there is a thickness of only 1 cm, for the radio frequency label should be enough, and if it is shifted in any direction and you do not guess from the first time, I will attach the other side. These thoughts passed in a second. I approach the turniket, on the move I take out the folded package, without stopping, I attach one side of the package and the other, the turniket is open, I pass. I hear behind my back:
And what? Was it possible?
Look what the money makers do!

Who would have thought that in the 21st century the world will again turn into the Middle Ages: America is closed to Europeans, the plague browses in Europe itself, and in Russia-motherly disputes between the Kiev and Moscow princeships, the opričnina and the boyars celebrating the tsar-batyushka...

Beginning of the nineties. My father is sick, he is in the hospital, his mother is in the garden. Just planted in the greenhouse tomatoes and on you! and freezing. seriously and for a long time. At night, it was down to minus eight. For a couple of days, my mother was involved in saving the red-skinned, but decided that I should also work for the benefit of the family, the more Batty should write out and meet him.



Call me to work - come to the garden, I will teach you to save tomatoes from freezing. I came, my mother gives me her post - here is the stove, here is the boiler on the oven, the water boils and every half hour you change the boiler with cooled water in the greenhouse for boiling from the oven.



has left. I looked at those cages, scratched the tail and walked with my extended hand through the garden. The neighbor took a large boiler, went to a friend on a neighboring street, borrowed a wire from him. Forks - the sockets were their own and after half an hour of work there was a crooked, but reliable extender, which was enough to the greenhouse. He also found two bins of strawberries, each with 5 to 10 liters, poured into them coal from the oven and hanged it in the greenhouse.

At night the coal was shaking, giving heat, the boiler boiled water in the tank, and I slept, not distracting every half hour for any smoothie. Arriving early in the morning, mom and dad found a functioning system and shaking me. And comfortable plus five in the greenhouse.



It turned out that my laziness and little technical knowledge gave me significant advantages over pure humanities.

Like a cherry on a cake - the next year there were freezes too, and my mom used my scheme, but instead of coal, she drove all the burning garbage into the cans. The greenhouse was full of smoke and all the leaves from the tomato bushes fell off. Then they grew up, but it was later.

When I was still going to kindergarten, I was poorly hearing, was not communicative. Children are generally angry at those who see poorly and hear poorly, and one boy has insulted me all the time. He pulled his hair, pinched, called, well, the classic of the genre. And once I could not stand it, and I cut it off. I remember I was just covered by a white diaper of anger, and I... Well, in general, the next day we go to the garden with my mom, and we are waiting for this boy with his mom. And his mother begins to complain that your daughter beat my son yesterday. I was the youngest in the group, almost a year younger. And the boy is above my head and generally healthy. Mom says to this woman, look at her and her son. If she beat him, what was it for? The woman looked at her son, breathed, took him by the hand and left silently. It was my first victory in society.

Today I heard a compliment that I have a brutal face. The reason for this is a few visible scars. He immediately began to smile because he remembered the "brutal" origin of these scars. A scar on the eye - tried to break a rod to fight with a urticaria. The stick gave up. A scar on the eyebrows - played with a metal tube from a vacuum cleaner in a ninja turtle. has lost.

A healthy economy is when cows are more profitable than officials.

Dad decided to put the hamster on the table to run. The hammer of happiness first stumbled, then began to chew a bag of dry quas. Dad pulled him away, and then the hamster ran to the wipes, took one, stuck it entirely in his mouth, but it didn't get in, and so the piece was torn. Dad rattled over this and drove the hammer back into the cage, where the hammer first came to his house, took the towel from his cheeks, put it on, covered it and fell asleep.

The old Russian fun of sticking the expiration date on products today came to a new, state level.

I regularly watch posts about the conflict between consumers and shops. I wanted to tell you about my experience. There were a lot of fun things, I might write about them. Now a little about something else.

The motto prefix, sadly, means that our buyers are unexpectedly deadly much more often than we would like. It happened that they ordered spare parts for a motorcycle, paid for it and disappeared. And then one day I call to tell you that spare parts have arrived and I am answered by a woman’s voice. I asked the employer, but in response, "He died, I am his mother. What did you want?” I try to explain that her son ordered spare parts, paid them entirely, but suddenly I understand that this is all in the form of spare parts and I just offer her to return the prepayment. Apparently the woman did not understand what I wanted, said that I should not bother her anymore and put on the phone.

I don't know why I was so itchy, but I put spare parts for sale, sold it, and the amount there was a lot. I call the same number again, but it’s already out of the area. Through social networks, I find a dead customer, calculate his girlfriend, explain her the situation, she gives contact to the customer's mother. For a long time the woman could not understand and believe that I was asking her to come to the store so that I could give her the money. I finally realized that I came with a cake. The store did not suffer losses. My conscience too.

I work in a bank.

The history of repayment of the loan.

This time there is nothing unusual, just let’s enjoy the person.

Today came a 43-year-old man who took a mortgage in 2005 already far away. I made my last payment today. In general, it is a very rare case when the mortgage is cancelled for the entire term, usually selling an apartment, making refinancing to another bank or simply making large sums and closing prematurely. The client has been here for 15 years. He tells us that in these years, he married twice, from the first marriage was born and a child has grown up, changed several jobs, lost friends, planted health, in general, everything like an ordinary man. He says: "So many years have passed, a whole life, everything has changed, even the president has changed (Kazakhstan), and only one thing always, I came to pay for the mortgage every month."

Glad for him, but also a little sad.

When I was fifteen, my father somehow became psychotic and cried out, "You read little!" he grabbed Remark from the shelf of "Three Comrades" and handed it to me, and it was a turning point. I really liked the book and aroused interest in reading. The side effect, however, was the interest in the use of strong drinks, which Remark described with his inherent skill. It’s strange that I didn’t get caught up with crooked prostitutes.

According to legend, during the time of colonial rule in India, the British became upset that there were too many cobras in Delhi.

To get rid of the poisonous snakes, the governor assigned a reward for each cobra killed.

At first, the number of snakes rapidly decreased as a result of their destruction.

However, soon entrepreneurial Indians began to breed the cobra themselves for the sake of the prize.

When this became known to the government and the reward for the killed cobra was cancelled, the breeders released the depreciated snakes, and thus the number of poisonous cobra not only did not decrease, but even increased.

Order and discipline in Russia are synonymous with lawlessness and arbitrariness.

The financial problems of any company start with the fact that it is planted fairy dwarfs. Over the past six months, I have received at least a thousand pop-ups offering to install a Yandex disk and a Yandex browser. 5 times a day from all devices. No one in my life has been so persistent with me. No poor on paper. I said no, I mean no. But after a thousand do not start thinking - the respected once company began to behave inappropriately.

What is the result of this advertising campaign? Now I hate this company. About an hour of my precious life. Why am I born to this world? For another million times to click the rejection button on repeated Yandex proposals? Yes, hell will freeze before I use the services of this shameful shame called Yandex again. What is Tom’s reason? The company hired an efficient dealer, able to handle the entire planet.

Oil has dropped by 30%. The gasoline is traveling again.

I went to the room of a single lady. She was very curious. In addition to asking for life, she also looked at my things. I noticed that things were put in my big bag, but I was silent, I didn’t want a scandal. Before leaving home for a week, I put a note inside my bag above things: "Please don't climb my stuff." When I came back, I saw that the bag was opened. The mistress is angry, and can say nothing to me, because I would have to admit that she was lazy on other people's things. Without a scandal.

Aaa: Life is actually full of shit. How many years have I lived, but I have never understood it.

bbb: And what to understand, I bought an electric car, I norm)

ccc: This is the same as some expect, “global such happiness” that will fall upon them, unexpectedly but inevitably.

And no, it turns out, a small "happiness" you do yourself, a car, watched a movie, bought a "chivas" of 15 years, small dreams, and small joys.

DDD: My chair is not liquid today. The day succeeded

A few days ago I saw a movie advertisement on TV. The voice behind the frame says: “... natural spices, thin paste, and most importantly, a filling of meat that we produce ourselves...”

And on this phrase on the screen, the following happens: a woman (apparently a mother) chases a little boy and catches him. The next picture: two older twin boys, sitting at a table and wrapping up the pelmeni. No younger... I thought.