bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №41672
 14.01.2011
Gray Cat: I used to think I knew what cells in the bank are.
I traveled by bus in the city at a peak hour.
The naive...
I drove out of the house on a gazelle today.
22 km.
38 people on landing 12
standing, if you can call standing, class z position
but this is what, next to the boy was driving so his height is generally under two meters in total he was driving about this way: Echo's position is called a grown-up dude in a bowl of under mayonnaise
Fuck...

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №41671
 14.01.2011
Give the elderly right in the universe an electronic cigarette, well in the break went to smoke - at the same time let him try.
Everyone, respectively, smokes ordinary cigarettes, this new toy plays, the break is over, everyone leaves, throws bulls into the urn-this fool throws his habit there.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №41670
 14.01.2011
hrs (19:43:31 13/01/2011)
Physical protection of objects

I wonder what the subject is.

ccc (19:43:36 13/01/2011)
HZ is

hrs (19:43:42 13/01/2011)
Type "Where to get there equipment"

hrs (19:43:47 13/01/2011)
and squeezing on the fucking

[ + 139 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №41669
 14.01.2011
Who is already an adult and still runs to the package that the parents brought from the store?
and c)

[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №41668
 14.01.2011
As you know, the words said a moment before the cheek is the truth; so this is another time before the cheek I say to myself quickly:"you will become a millionaire!".
I never sneezed.
Such a destiny.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №41667
 14.01.2011
xxxxxxxxxxx:
By the way, I seem to understand why I don’t like people. For example, I have a simple task in anti-spambot to find a derivative.
xxxxxxxxxxx:
And I’m starting to guess why my schoolgirls don’t meet me anymore:
xxxxxxxxxxx:
The boss called yesterday. I asked for authorization because I couldn’t get through a spam bot.( by

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №41666
 14.01.2011
Princes, princesses... Here are my acquaintances, a three-year-old daughter in full seriousness stated that she is a princess! The princesses don’t go! I refused to go for a few days.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №41665
 14.01.2011
(From forum lenti.ru, flame on discussion of fallen GLONASS satellites)

A: My mother says nothing good will come out of Russia. And she is right.

B: - What came out of your mother is also, gently speaking, untold.

[ + 61 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №41664
 14.01.2011
The evening. I smooked my father’s shirt, shaved my brother’s socks, hanged my underwear, washed dishes, helped my mom with dinner, worked out my desk, put on pastels... Such a strange inspiration comes to me on different days and numbers... But this is a coincidence, these numbers fall on the eve of the exam.

K. K

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №41663
 14.01.2011
Alconavt: I want to start a new life, find a wife, stop drinking... where to start?
Sugar: Probably with Nick

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №41662
 14.01.2011
I am so psychic today.
I was dragged for a month to every theater, opera and other hernia on which you sleep.
I didn’t want to upset her, so I didn’t say anything.
XHH: And today she says, “Do you know when will you stop driving me through these theaters?” I am sleeping there!"
See also: Fac. I would kill)

[ + 105 - ] Comment quote №41661
 14.01.2011
I go into the room and my sister is watching porn. When he sees me, the window turns up so quickly :)
I ask her: What are you doing?
She is innocent: listening to music.
Why without sound?
She is even more innocent: her head hurts.

I laughed a long time =)

[ + 81 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №41660
 14.01.2011
You don’t have to talk about “before was better.” It was before.
YYY: It was better. And it was.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №41659
 14.01.2011
My wife and I work at neighboring tables. My girlfriend is full, I am thin. Nearby the boss crawls, looking for something on the shelves.
Ivan Ivanovich, what are you looking for?
The boss: No, a little bit less.
I: (I don’t think about it) Then can I?
The boss didn’t even find what to answer.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №41658
 14.01.2011
- So, so: Money for holding the 2014 Olympics and the 2018 World Cup we will receive from MMM-2011...

[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №41657
 14.01.2011
Sgt. Here are some interesting stories!
Sgt. French diplomat Bernard Bursique at the age of 20 was in Beijing and met opera singer and employee of Chinese intelligence services Shi Pepe. Burzico did not have sex with women before, so Shi managed to pretend to be a woman and even enter into sexual intercourse with Burzico (hiding the genitals, quickly and in the dark). Four years later, Shi presented Burshiko with a supposedly born son. All this led the Chinese authorities to blackmail the diplomat and obtain secret documents from him. Later, Burzico managed to take Shi and his son to France, where they were arrested, and the whole truth was revealed, after which the diplomat tried to commit suicide, but unsuccessfully.
Sgt. Their love relationship lasted for 20 years.
Sgt. The Joker: Crying

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №41656
 14.01.2011
The desire to create completely destroys the desire to work.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №41655
 14.01.2011
What to pay attention to when buying a washing machine?
$ting: by breast size and waist volume
$ting: and the jump is about to throw

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №41654
 14.01.2011
When I was a teenager and lived with my parents, one day there was a rat in our apartment. She was completely invulnerable to all my attempts to take her away, catch her, or destroy her. After a few days of looking at these futile efforts, my father got involved. He was a military officer and graduated from the Academy.
The General Staff and operations were planned with the appropriate scale. First, he fired from a gun into the plinth, behind which a rat scratched.
The gun was really low-caliber, but we didn’t hunt the cockroach.
I think she began to binge after that, but after a few days resumed her binge. I will not even describe the next three days of the battle – this is a short story, not an epic “War and Peace.” I will only say that at the final stage of the battle we localized the unfortunate rat in the kitchen and took out a bit of ALL the furniture and dishes, leaving only two untouchable refrigerators, under the engine of one of which she was hiding. There was a deep sense in the presence of two shelters – my father was splashing hot water on the engine, and at this time I caught a rat with a clutches while trying to break into the second refrigerator. Somewhere after her five successful breakthroughs, the rat disappeared at all. It seemed absolutely impossible in an empty kitchen, our protection could not be described. Finally, following the method of deduction, I raised my eyes to the ceiling and found her there – she walked around the garden. When I caught her, she painfully bitten my finger through a thick cloth and arranged some kind of fighting with me. I would have drowned her in the toilet without thinking, but my military dad was more humane. He decided to take her to a remote wash with the words "other people will tell us not to appear." Mother echoingly noted that with such kindness all the rats of the area will come to us at least out of curiosity, but the decision of the father was relentless - although a few days ago he almost shot her, now the defenseless rat has obtained obviously the status of a prisoner of war. The father pushed the cloth with the rat into the old tea box, closed the lid tightly and had already gone out to the entrance door, but ran back home for a minute to pick up the cigarettes. When he returned to the doorstep, the tea bar was no longer there – he was whispered. The bitterness of the loss of the tea barrel was softened by a quite predictable picture of further events – a happy thief came home, put the tea barrel on the table, opened the lid, pulled the cloth...

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №41653
 14.01.2011
An employee of the tax inspectorate, going with his wife for a costumed evening, dressed up as a vampire: in a black suit, with spikes and throwing in the eyes "blood" on the nails of paper-mashe. When they entered the bar, a familiar bartender, looking around him, asked:
Directly from work?

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