bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 80 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №41652
 14.01.2011
I have a friend for whom the lower row on the table for vision check is SHB... -7 shorter. So here's the story: We stand like in the feed near the food bar and here it is pierced - "I want a waffle"... Looking through the window, and there are the waffles "Privacy gnom", straight and written "Privacy" with large letters, and "left gnom" small entirely. He knocks at the window and says:
He said: “Hello (only that word he saw in the name of a wafel).”
A: Do we know each other?? to
He said: Give me it!
The Seller: Oh! Oh!? to

Everyone who was next to the lark and heard it just cried.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №41651
 14.01.2011
xxx: Oh, sometimes a remote desk is not enough. Distant working hands are often needed.
Yyy: Sometimes even to stifle a customer.

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №41650
 14.01.2011
The repair. My father and I have a huge Soviet TV. Putting him in the snow, the father pleasedly says:
How long have I dreamed of doing it! His mother did not give it because he was a worker.
He is a non-working man. My brother and I had a radio bite 15 years ago. It was terrible to admit immediately.

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №41649
 14.01.2011
The acquaintance had the habit of relieving stress by cleaning. Stress is a change. Once I came from work late... While dinner, while there and here... In general, at 11 o’clock the stress did not pass, I decided to change. In the process, he hears a sinister voice: "Larissaaa, go to sleep."" She threw herself onto the couch with fear, shut herself down, and is afraid to shake up. The minute 5 goes by, and again the voice: "Well, what, reassured?" It turned out that the neighbor in the socket was squeezed))))

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №41648
 14.01.2011
Allve_bpb: After sex, the girl smiled somewhat tightly...

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №41647
 14.01.2011
The Festo:
What is the difference between Matan and Algebra?
and Nekromant:
Like between the uranium rod and the finger battery.

[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №41646
 14.01.2011
- We have one attraction in the park, I got sick after half a day!
A laurel with a shawma?

[ + 91 - ] Comment quote №41645
 14.01.2011
Yesterday I reminded my husband: "Have you not forgotten that we are going to the Opera Theater on the 15th with my parents?"
Man: "What are we looking at there?"
I am: "Flying Mouse"
My husband depends...
I: "It’s not about Dracula!!and "
The husband....?
I am "And not about Batman!!and "

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №41644
 14.01.2011
The xxx:
Do you not grind the grass? and [
YYYY :
Oh, and what do I need?
The xxx:
I have 3 acquaintances, the flow dampened, and immediately behind the pipes :-[
YYYY :
Ipanucca... Well, I still lacked to work for complete happiness...

[ + 81 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №41643
 14.01.2011
xxx: People ask why the letters of the disks in the wire start with C. I feel old.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №41642
 14.01.2011
What doesn’t kill us, we don’t buy anymore.

[ + 111 - ] Comment quote №41641
 14.01.2011
it was normal, come to the urologist for an examination, drop your pants and proudly say "Boss, touch!!!" and? to

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №41640
 14.01.2011
The baby’s mouth:

Mom, are you in a parish?

WOW: Yes

Good luck you guys.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №41639
 14.01.2011
I’m cooking chicken and garner at home.
M: So, do I have to buy a delicious, juicy shurma with beer for dinner today, or will we eat what you have prepared?
by :
Tag: buy

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №41638
 14.01.2011
an optimist is a person who at the internet 512 kb / s putting on the night to upload a 20-gig file puts in the settings "disconnect at the end of downloads";;

[ + 52 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №41637
 14.01.2011
There are three stages of alcoholism.
The first time a person begins to cuddle in the morning
The second is when a person drinks a lot and does not get drunk.
The third is when a person drinks a little bit.
The fourth is when a person is sober, but everyone thinks he is drunk.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №41636
 13.01.2011
The tribe (2 years) said:
Sitting, the package ("mama"), long so, then thoughtfully stops, looks at the work of his hands, after 2 seconds exhausts the breath of disappointment, and issues this phrase:"Ehkhkhh, blade, parвалася!"

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №41635
 13.01.2011
Initiative should come from a man. And I don’t care about your progressivity and the 21st.
He: In that case, you shouldn’t be feminists, and you should obey us in everything, like in the 18th and 19th centuries.
She: and the ass with the beetle not to pray?)))

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №41634
 13.01.2011
xxx: xashi, ninja myths are probably the most established in the minds of people. This is probably the most mysterious ninja art. In our minds formed the ninja image of the movie-people in black clothes, with the face closed, roaring on straight swords, which they hold with a reverse grip. It is all nonsense. There were no such swords at all, they did not fight against them naturally, if they were not. They had such a dress, but they rarely wore it. Ninjas come from the impoverished Ronin.
Ninja are turtles living in the sewerage and their teacher is a rat.

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №41633
 13.01.2011
Can I look like a psychologist?
macess: then the psychologist will go to the psychiatrist))

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