Something has stuck here.
This is my phone. Press on him or he will not calm down.
All in you.

Our sanitarians signed after work and scandalized a little.
They scared each other with the air.
Someone, without understanding, called the police.
Report of inspection of the place of the accident:
In the corner of the room is a closet. In it, on the upper shelf, a pneumatic rifle ISH-61 was found, in a faulty condition. Next to the sanitary room, in the corridor, ten bodies were found.

mutant: you know what they ask at the casting in the battle of the extrasensors)) Who will be the next President of Russia!
Ignat: harsher senses only in Belarus.

In the Kherson region, the owner of the house robbed the cowboys

At home I hardly eat, at work I feed 3 times a day. Expenses only on weekends.
Do you work as a pig?
No, in the IT
2: One does not interfere with the other

Natasha Sedna invited me to teach me to play chess
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY) and how?
XXX: What is it? He taught me :(

I called my girlfriend who went out for a visit.
I: Hi, what are you doing?
A cake to drink.

I heard it in my childhood (may someone have heard it too?That a white strip on the nail, next to the cuticula, indicates the amount of health.
222 of UAH. The length of the hair is an indicator.

XXX: Is it terrible? Are you not getting married at all? Give me your number, I’ll call you at 4 a.m. and we’ll talk about it.

It is hard to find and easy to lose.

A professional hiding player.

I believe in a single Prime Minister and his re-election.
(From the Oath of Unity)

Everyone is immortal
I went to my favourite town of Peter.
There was only one driver in the coupe – a hairy, dry old man.
Double costume and some pre-war manners. Some of the covers on the manches are...
For example, I was last seen in a strict costume in 1984 at a graduation exam. This one in the train. Even in a tie.
Kolya ran into the tambour to kill time by smoking, and I started to catch satellites on my CPC, to see if far away from Peter?
Grandfather, as soon as he carefully hanged his jacket on the hanging, immediately began to stick to us with his large lost chess board.
It turned out that he is the chairman of one Moscow self-dealing chess club and he is going to organize a tournament with his colleagues in St. Petersburg.
He was named according to his status – Yanos Albertovich.
The Father sets the figures:
Young people, let’s cut the day to the evening with a good chess game.
The party.
I am :
“Good” won’t work, and “somebody” don’t want to insult yours.
The Chess Intelligence.

I and, indeed, I played even worse chess than Ostap Sulejmanovich.
by Kola:
No thank you. I have to refuse too. In the table tennis,
Yes, but in chess you will definitely be uninterested with us.

Grandfather continued to appeal to the sighted species, carefully arranged figures, as if offering cold water in the desert.
But we did not want to drink.
After an hour, he squeezed us a little.
And then I push Kolya to his side and whisper to him, “Consent on the black. We play »
I sat down at the table by the window, Kolya next to me, Yanos Albertovich, in anticipation, rubbing the dry pins in front of us.
My grandfather started E2-E4.
Kolya responded strongly and massively, thinking no more than a second, but before every move looking under the table.
We lost the first game in a tough fight. Only a few figures remained on the board.
Before the second game, I made global adjustments to Colin’s game – we moved from the first level to the sixth.
The grandfather joyfully arranged the figures:
“Don’t worry, Nicholas, you’ve got the tips, but you can’t get the keys.
moments to concentrate and as a result childish and unthoughtful moves. No is
Think a little before every move.
Yanos Albertovich reluctantly, but agreed again to the white.
In this game, the game of the grandmaster Nicholas has transformed to the unrecognizable: the board does not look, the look dispersed, before each move all the same looks under the table, but does not think for a second, but for a second.
3 minutes and 20 seconds. Not much, but where to go – he is a grandmaster, he is more visible.
as a result. We drowned his grandfather in his own lodge. The game looked strange, as if it wasn’t chess, and the Alpha group blasted Amin in his own palace.
by Matt!
Amin-Yanoch Albertovich nervously crushed his head and shaken his hands:
– Well you, Nicholas, didn’t even give me... Somehow you so immediately... And that.
This is a bad boat, I could not expect you at all.
Collie extending his hand:
Probably enough. One is one.
Father shakes and shakes his head:
After such a defeat, I will not sleep at night.
The third is decisive.
I didn’t change anything like Colin’s coach, and so everything went well.
Grandfather started, and Cole picked up in 3 minutes and 20 seconds...and how powerful!
There seemed to be a few more moves, and we would again squeeze the poor old man on his own foot.
Suddenly, Cole broke because I, his coach, broke. Broken all
Colin is a grandmaster game.
No need to look under the table.
Our moves became meaningless and, of course, grandfather soon stumbled, bringing the matter to a fast matte.
Yanos Albertovich smiled and gathered the figures in a box, almost kissing each one:
- Nicholas, I will tell you this: you definitely have an unusual one.
A chess talent you don’t even know about. I only won.
I have a lot of experience behind my shoulders in the tournament. and here
Your character is weak... In the third part: your great breakthrough
Elephant, so it was necessary to bring this idea to the end, and I got a mat.
Two steps, what about you? Some incomprehensible, teethless moves... as if you were
Don’t be upset about losing a strong player like me.
Untoldly.
I am :
The battery sat.
The Grandfather:
You said it as if the battery was in the hands of Nicholas.
Colla insulted (silent not to hear the grandfather):
He was fortunate that he was immortal and we died. Would be here
220, I would show him the experience of a tournament fight... and what kind of figure is an elephant?

How did we come to the world?
God created us.
My dad said we came from monkeys.
I tell you about my family and he about his own.

Woods, throw it to hell. He is Dolby.
23 cm
and what? He is a psychopath!
and 23 cm.
and o. Well, in principle, not a psychopath, but simply an emotional.

Sitting with a friend like that and under the beer remembered "old good". After a couple of bottles of the elixir of thought, she gives out: "But you remember how it was at school - you chew all night in a cabbage, then you fuck until dawn, and after that you go to math...

Give me a trapez!
I: Let’s go, or I have a headache.
He is: O_O

and after:
He said: (happy and joyful) Rabbit, you are the best!! to
I: (thinkingly) and the head did not pass... repeat?
He: Oh (terrible) Well, once the head hurts, maybe it's better to take a pill and sleep? (It’s already complaining) Zhao, right? Is the pill better?

The question is, who of us is a husband?

I visited our consulate in Osaka today. The attraction is called "the swallowing of the fox" - they carefully set up in the harsh Japanese reality the corner of the native dull fool. Room 2x2 meters without windows, layout typically zekovskaya - sovdepovskaya wallpapers even on the ceiling. Of the furniture shredded chairs, and it is unclear where the table came from in Japan, as if it was specially delivered from some post office of the Russian Post. Threatening inscriptions are glued to the walls with a thick scotch, with the same scotch attached to the table samples of documents, which arouse memories of long rows. By the way, about the turn - a mandatory element young mother with a young child... and yes, they managed to create a line, although we were only 3rd not counting the child and even couples of Japanese who tried to file documents for a visa and who were sent to the forest, because the documents for a visa are accepted only from 3h to 5, and the shots are 11-30 and so they can be free! Well, the final accord of all this situation was two real Zhukov windows, able to withstand the direct impact of a haubic projectile. Both do not work... and both do not have microphones, so to call someone you need to knock quite persistently and for a long time. And as a bonus, each window is decorated with a single-use pen on a wire... In the end, to get a dumb passport, I had to spend 40 minutes in this communist reserve...

How many people in the ASCII
Everyone fell to work.

I’m going to Karelia with my friends for the New Year. At 6 p.m. I was in the hospital and I received the following SMS:
You are where?
I answered:
I go to preaching.
The following SMS:
Breathing is what?
I don’t get into it for a long time, then hysterical rust)))

xxx is. I have two signatures here.
YYYYY Figas... and the cats then?
xxx is. They are, they are, they run and they sign.