bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №41532
 12.01.2011
First working day after the New Year holidays. I call the court, they don’t take the phone for a long time, then I hear that they are recording and silence. I wait, I listen. After some time, a heavy breath in the tube, and hopeless such "Blaze....." a quiet whisper. And I am here with my joyful voice - "Hello, Anatoly Vasilyevich!"

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №41531
 12.01.2011
I take the train on the sides. The followers were a family consisting of a father, a mother and their son aged 4 to 5. The boy is not easy. He doesn’t believe in any nonsense like going to bed, or taking a wolf, etc., enthusiastically collecting a machine and sometimes asking for candy. When the number of sweets approached zero, his mother said:
Stop eating candy, your stomach hurts.
Give me a candy.
The teeth will get sick.
They will not!
The mother had finished all the real reasons and here she gave out:
All the sweets are asleep.
He is silent. O_O

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №41530
 12.01.2011
Snooping, Snooping...
Australia is so dumb! Brisbane is being evacuated because of a flood, and my torrent client shows that someone is pumping out my toy there.
Did you forget to turn off the computer before evacuation?

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №41529
 12.01.2011
Student of foreign languages.
Kot Luis: I don't know how you, and I will begin to say this at the exam: "My summer is from May Hart in English likes Vitaly Mutko..."

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №41528
 12.01.2011
NESTEA
Eshil wrote eighty tragedies, but only seven have come to us.
NESTEA
O Lord, save me

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №41527
 12.01.2011
I was on a train and smoked. and in the tamper above the tablet "stop-kran" someone attributed two words... and it turned out "Jean Claude stop-kran")

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №41526
 12.01.2011
I want as a gift for February 23 bombers, dochera bombs and missiles to it and a set of maps with a list of coordinates of all the wine and vodka plants of the country. We must protect the country from the state.

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №41525
 12.01.2011
The director burned today.
He runs into the office with the camera and says: we smile, or I have no photo of where you work.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №41524
 12.01.2011
xxx(05:26:49 11/01/2011)
Your centuries are heavy.

xxx (05:26:54 11/01/2011)
The breath becomes smooth.

xxx (05:26:57 11/01/2011)
and you fall asleep

yyy (05:27:13 11/01/2011)
In the words of the centuries I pierced

yyy (05:27:15 11/01/2011)
Let me first

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №41523
 12.01.2011
XXX (14:24:02 11/01/2011)
If you believe the writing, our baby is already around eight.

YYY (14:25:03 11/01/2011)
So you still have the sausage.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №41522
 12.01.2011
Darcash: And now that everything is in place, I would like to clarify again the ways to enslave the world.
LAZDIK: And what about the old plan to drink non-dry until all our demands are met? I entered the taste.
Darcash: What are the requirements? I have already forgotten! Who the hell needs them? Drink and no nails.
Lazdik: No, our demands are constant – to abolish the law of universal gravity, to revive Kennedy and to deprive Monica Bellucci of her virginity.
Darcash: Hey, I’m right to tell you, but Monica already has children. Probably innocent, of course.
They are innocent, they are children.

[ + 125 - ] Comment quote №41521
 12.01.2011
XHHH: from an explanatory driver...I go shorter on my kamazike and to meet me WORKSHIP!!!!! to

[ + 48 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №41520
 12.01.2011
My young man (programmer), taking my hands under a lush shirt (very convenient for this matter) and finding there a lot of interesting and pleasant to touch:
- It seems I'm beginning to love sweaters... Definitely... a great invention..mmm... even better than a computer =)

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №41519
 12.01.2011
XXX: Going to work tomorrow
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
xxx: blade in 3 months, army
XXX: the end of the world in a year
Where is he, the light at the end of the tunnel?
xxx: Something brown at the end of my tunnel, and I guess what tunnel it is

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №41518
 11.01.2011
You are a confident person if, by pressing Ctrl + C, you close
the folder without pressing Ctrl+V in another.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №41517
 11.01.2011
In the Metro:
Do you have Lolita?
(It extends the book)
This is a great book! It’s about her relationship with Cécile!
Is there a Nabokov?
(A minute of stumbling at the seller)
This is a singer, right?

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №41516
 11.01.2011
Eldow: How are you with Marinka?
Serg: It’s all great :)
You don’t think about Kesha anymore?
Serg: Hey... no, we’ve been separated for half a year now, she’s a stranger to me.
Eldow: and no feelings remained? Do you mind who she is with?
Serge : Absolutely. Why are you so interested in my personal life?
Eldow: I want to mess up with Khushka, you don’t mind...
Serge: I will kill the naked!! You and that fool.
Eldow: x_x

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №41515
 11.01.2011
You have to be such an idiot. I put it in the USB!!!I sit down, the computer is not on. Please help someone!)

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №41514
 11.01.2011
<[Sky]26916> you know who I have mom and mom sppy tarshy major melitsya

<[Sky]Buy_BK0011> [Sky]26916: Better teachers of the Russian language were.

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №41513
 11.01.2011
I was brought a lot of micro whiskey from the Czech Republic in bottles of 50 ml... and also micro-chren-know-what-so... 45% transparent.
Maybe a tequila?
The 0.33 beer of Pilsner Urquell is really beer.
I am chase! Drink and make a drink. buy glass bottles with a collar of zero two, and put on the micro table a microbubble and a microbubble... make another microbubble, microbubble and drink from microglasses. The microbiome!
Under the minimum techno! Mega... yeah... that is to say, micro-minimalism...)
WOW : Certainly! and a microwave. The pocket. Warming up the sofa.
XHH: corporate in ROSNANO! )))

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna