Three friends "B" "D" and "O" decided to humbly celebrate their birthday at one bowling club.
After a lot of drunk O left as needed, D and I stayed on the couch pulling alcohol.
If it becomes boring, you have to get the girls upset.
by - ))
D – I’ll go to the bar, I’ll radiate sexuality.
And he stands at the bar, and radiates: the elbow on the bar stand, the whisker, all as needed shorter.
Returns to O
Where is our D?
A - Yes, the girl he wanted, out of the bar the sexuality radiates))
Oh, I understood you, I’ll go and take it until the pits are given...

I want a time car :(
YYY: What would you do first?
xxx: oxygen (% of

Mmm: Show at me.Yesterday I joked about my employee. He asked me which antivirus is best for him to buy, and I advised Contex. So this fool yesterday evening in M Video went Contex to buy, says that the consultant laughed just a whimper.

In the forum:
I am in distress (
The book is just a book.
I turned my laptop yesterday. Well, I think fortunately. Nevertheless, he had long wanted something like this to surprise him to invite his neighbor-computer-gick-no-s-biceps from the 11th floor, on which he placed his eye a month ago. She dressed up and called her hero-saviour.
Connection is life.
has arrived. I wandered around my mast for two hours. He committed. I ate my refrigerator. has gone.
I am not sorry for eating. But this... (even the epithet appropriate I can’t pick up) I didn’t even remember my name. and shrink.
The way to the heart, through the stomach.
Noah has earned...

We once stood and drank a beer and thought what would happen if we pushed our feet into the toilet. They came together in the opinion that she will get stuck on the ankle, while theoretically it should be easy to enter, and to get out - a cock.
After a tumultuous discussion, there was some uncomfortable silence.
xxx: It was interrupted by the words: “Boys, and let’s promise each other that when we come home... None of us. No one is..."
XX: We agreed that we would not try it. It was hysterical.

XXX is
Early in the morning
Shepherd of Tr-ru-ru!
Cows are in his hands.
They answered: Mu-mu!

XXX is
Truth jump I heard the shepherds, I "tra ru ru" did not hear)

XXX is
I have heard "e", "he", "goed", and "cable?"

You can always arrange a local New Year by drinking vodka and snacking it with mandarins.

They told me that if you work as an admin, you will marry immediately. The acquaintance is stumbling on the virtue, and always wanted to try the virtue with a girl.
I take off the linen of the penyuara from you, he falls off with his naked chest and silk clothes.
Wait... I’ll be back in 20 minutes. I have a computer account (

I love my younger brother (learned in 2nd grade). I come from work, he sits upset and shows a diary. I quote: "Dear parents, your son wrote in a pot with flowers at the literature class. Please take action to educate."
While I was roasting, he told me that his teacher did not let him go to the toilet in class and in order not to suck his pants he calmly removed them and soaked them in a pot with a flower.
I called the director. Two minutes later, the teacher called and apologized.

Roma is
17:31 Natasha grit sexi kaku!! Electricity with Gandalf!! to
17:31 is with you.
»
17:31 O_O

We received an angry letter from our partners from Altai. This papyrus was filled with a detailed description of the reasons for discontent.
But most impressed by the signature:

With respect,
Your partners from Porno-Altai

Even scary to think what they meant.)

Sometimes you have a painful desire to put the status of a mother, but you remember that you have friends, a fox, decent people. And most disgustingly, they also consider you a decent person.

c their

There was a kind of hoax when during the war in Avgan were captured adult villages in villages and auras.

They caught a shepherd near some aura somewhere in the south of Azerbaijan
and passport.
Sheffield is running, turbine.
Load it up!

In two years, the language is learned, the debt to the homeland is given, and the documents are hanging - in the district military committee can not find his village, in order to organize as it should. They began to understand, took a detailed map of the area, look.
This village is in Iran.

I sit behind the compass, my husband is in the bathroom. The sound of the opening door, the wild cry from the bathroom
M: Do you take it!
I : What?
M: Do you not sleep anymore?
I : No. And you? and :)
M: I am in the bathroom!
The sound of a closing door

O_O

Results of the match Spartak - Marseille:
The game didn’t go...It was all against Spartacus – a green lawn, a round ball...

I heard from a sweet, smiling colleague:
and WOW! You are always so happy to look at you!

As long as you do not tell a person that he is a fool, he will not become smarter than that.

It was well planned under the Soviet government. There was a simple joke among the people:
In the Armenian radio came the question:
Is it possible to make sure that there is no sand in the Sahara desert?
and yes. In order to do this, the State Plan of the USSR should be sent there for a week.
But here is another joke, and maybe not quite an anecdote, because this is already a completely real case, such as the overwhelming number.
The basis of economic planning was the iron rule: for the preparation of various arrangements, all applications were accepted by ministries and departments for the year ahead until September 2. The mountains of the maculature were sent to the Primordial. Specially trained officials understood and planned what and how they could. What came out was confirmed by their ministers, after which these weapons automatically acquired the status of a Law, and a law more unwavering than the Law of Universal Gravitation.
When building a single house, two units were needed to increase the capacity of the boiler. Their name is water heater.
We planned to receive them in the city of Voronezh in a year.
My construction moved faster than the scheduled deadlines, which was unusual in Soviet times, and created a lot of inconvenience for the suppliers. Our supplier turned away from me and stopped not only talking to me, but even drinking vodka. I started calling the factory - manufacturer in the city
Voronezh is useless. I was knocked in my nose on the phone and that was all. In our ministry remembered that somewhere in the world there is a city
Volgograd, where they were also manufactured. I was advised to try to negotiate with the city of Volgograd. Volgograders could not be pleased with the supply, but suggested that these units are also manufactured in the city of Krasnodar at a repair-mechanical plant and Volgograd heat technicians themselves drive them from this Krasnodar. Apparently in our ministry solid knowledge in the geography of the USSR was limited to the MKAD.
He got on the tram and went around the city of Krasnodar on the RMZ. It turns out that these heaters are actually made there and this is their main product. Here, only to sell can not, because they have a very tense supply plan in the Volgograd region. They advised to contact the Volgograd heaters - maybe they ordered too much there. So if they give up a couple of pieces in my favor, then, through our ministries, the issue can be solved.
I myself never saw these units in the eye and asked for permission to go to the workshop, to see what it is - a water heater. When I saw that there was a great multitude in all their territory, I found hope.
Having selected the worker with the redest nose from the general team, I asked if, purely theoretically, it was possible to get a couple of such units. He replied that it was not easy. To do this, I have to have a truck and vodka behind the fence as many products as I need.
I called my director and after an hour the truck brought me two bottles of alcohol. These same products weighed a kilogram by two hundred. For this reason, the whole team of the factory probably participated in the transportation through the fence and loading. The work disputed. A minute after ten, my red-nosed friend, glad that I did not have vodka for him, but a wonderful alcohol, gave the command, and I was immediately pulled and submerged with a third heater. in the reserve. All the workers, friendly, began to explain to me that in difficult times, I can always change this thing for a bottle of vodka.
I felt like a hero until it was time to put the house into operation. There were no documents on arrival, neither in the accounting nor in the supplies, for some reason. And then all forgot that I was a hero and began to demand from me documents on payment and bills. This is where the third heater helped me. The assembly organization stopped demanding some foolish papers for him and the question disappeared.
The buyer became my friend again. And six months later, the Voronezh mechanical plant, in a categorical form, began to demand payment and self-export of the water heater ordered, a year and a half ago, in the amount of two pieces, according to the order No.
The manager stopped recognizing me.

Before leaving work, half-Moscow people go to the internet, look: where there is no traffic jams, and create the largest.

Talk with support:

Uzer: We organized an Internet lottery to help the agriculture, and you blocked our website.

Tech Support: We participated in your lottery a month ago. We won, who is the car, who is the house on the sea. And our boss got the control package of oil company shares! Waiting for prizes. Until you return our winnings, we will not unblock the site.