In the pounds acquired during these hideous holidays, I am pleased only with those 250 grams that have been delayed on my chest.

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<Jon> I was awake!!!! to
<Jack> and Jack> You asked your girlfriend if she had a boyfriend.

Looking at the catalog in the furniture store:
Business class, premium class, and where is the poor class?! to

Sometimes my friends left me. Then I shot them in the knees.

I love when the word "eat" (in the sense of transportation) is mistaken and it comes to "edim" (in the sense of eating food). My colleague recently distinguished:
We eat with our baptismal with him from Novocherkassk to Rostov.
I have two questions: is the Baptist delicious? The crucifix is a man. O_O

Scene: A man and a woman after a long and violent sexual intercourse. The man releases a comment about the sounds with which everything happened, the woman is offended and begins to hysterize.
After half an hour of discussions, it turns out that the girl thought that all the other people were doing it silently.
M: "Forgive me, who did you take this from?"
J: "Well, you can’t hear it in movies..."

Why is the Nokia 3310 unmatched? I dropped her on my leg five years ago. Broke the screen.
Yes, the Russian women.

The Goat:
After I broke up with a girl, before going to bed, instead of "good night, dear," I hear "translated Jordan" again, the maxmaster said.

Commentary on the battle of Fyodor Emelianenko:
"Fedor goes out to battle as if he came for bread) There was no bread and it made him slightly upset..."

XXX is:
No, it's brilliant when my friend in the dungeon friends couldn't understand drunken how to close the crane and tied it with a knot so that the water didn't go...
........................................................
Chuck is you?

I read the demotivator:

Boys, bet your girlfriend that she won’t be able to touch her navel with two elbows at the same time. Watch, enjoy and thank me later.
Yyy: You are just God."

One of the comments:
I didn’t understand the joke because I got it right away.

>_<' and

I didn’t get to the internet.
xxx: I got in the bedroom (((

Call from Dad in the New Year:
Hi, how are you doing? And we have mandarines, salads, sandwiches... Well, my mom drank (pride) I don’t!

We are talking about Android 4.

xxx: But the app shutdown and notification gestures came down from webOS.
yyy: Mathias Duarte, the chief designer of WebOS, and now Android OS, so rough that it slips on its own :)

There was a case in the summer. The child of the acquaintance cries, takes the grass and pretends to smoke, says to his mother:
Look at me, I smoke!
You are, it is bad.
I am a grass.

What is the difference between oranges and mandarins?
The oranges are cleaned in the kitchen and the mandarines are cleaned where they are eaten.

Nothing, someday this black strip will end.
Loki: And the next...

How did the NHK meet you? :)
Oooo: Yes, the shake of the champagne luster was broken, the guillotine was accidentally set on fire and the telecome burned. Pizzac is simple.
Oh))) And I hid one mandarine to the NH, then the side started to hurt a little. And when I met NH and I decided to eat mandarines normally, I found a rash on the side... Well, caroche, I had an allergy to citrus (
You have won =(

Who is Barbara Streisand?
The singer was popular before.
– and! You say I’m similar to her ?
You are lying!
And why?!!>.<
You look like a leon!!! to