As my grandmother said: if a husband is poorly fed - he will lose weight and the cowards will begin to fall from him... and - not at home!

I have not been on the car to work lately. About the snow collapse on the roads of Peter did not hear only lazy. switched to electricity. 20 minutes walk to work. On the road, I began to notice one girl, we always cross in the same place at the same time. The meeting of eyes gradually evolved into a smile. In other circumstances, a few words could be clearly crossed, etc. The girl’s eyes were so pleasing. But no, I say to myself I am not like that, I have a beautiful wife and kids with sweets. Before yesterday, as she expected, I did not smile in response. Yesterday I went on a different road in order not to meet that praying look again. I walked the usual road today and did not meet her. for the first time. I think we have the first silence. And all silently, only at the receptor level.

I started dating a girl. We talked, walked and coffee.

They were ready to start a relationship. And then she asks me to take the tests. The guy doesn’t want to date a guy who has a shameful illness.

I say - no problems, even tomorrow ready to take tests and take a certificate. Take the tests as well.

She – why? You don’t trust me?

What is trust or not trust? You want to make sure I’m healthy. I also want to make sure you don’t get sick.

She is what you called me a fallen woman with low social responsibility?! to

We never had a relationship with her. And what communication it was.

But I gave the tests anyway. I got the certificate. All is well.

I am concerned with the question: will Kazakhstan have time to complete the transition from Cyrillic to Latin by 2025 or will the transition to hieroglyphs occur?

It was a long time ago, at the time of the Dotkomov bubble. All Russian immigrants suddenly discovered a talent for programming. I taught programming at Business School. I had a student from Odessa. In Odessa he was the chief of the sausage shop, and it was unique, since he was almost the only non-party chief. According to his stories, the partorg of the enterprise regularly caught him somewhere near the shop, grabbed his sleeves and wondered:
Why don’t you go to the party?
He was thirsty lying, saying, I am non-partisan, what should I do there?
Then the CPSU dissolved, the USSR ended and he moved to America, where he began playing drums in restaurant jazz. And with the beginning of the growth of the demand for programmers (with decent salaries) decided to re-learn. He comes to class and says:
I walked past the synagogue yesterday, and a crowd of people came out of it. Among them is our parrot. He grabs my sleeve and asks, “Are you not going to the synagogue?”

The government has allowed access to the apartments of citizens to police in the framework of the "Accessible housing" program.

Plunder the working people, feed the unemployed - this is the motto of Russian economists born in the USSR and trained in wild capitalism.

History of Military School

We go on a patrol with the senior. We meet a student with a violation of the shape of clothes. It’s summer, it’s hot, with three open buttons. We are going to ask him for documents to record the data and pass on to the command, and he asks him not to smoke, such as he is an athlete, he is going to go to some zone competitions in Kaliningrad and he really wants to go there, and for such a flight can also get away from the national team.
Our senior is an ambitious man, and he says that he is also an athlete at all, and here is about 500 meters to the red barrel, let's say, we will bet: if a student runs faster, then they will let him go, and if he loses, they will give up with a little bit. Well, standing on the line, I commanded: “At the start – Attention – March.”

At the first hundred meters, our commander went into a good break, but I did not have time to boast of them, as it turned out that at the second hundred meters the student turned to the nearest street, and while the commander, rushing to the goal, noticed this, the student had already left the trail.

“Why do you not clean the snow, but you have the Beagle’s blades?
I thought it was for money...

We go on a patrol with the senior. We meet a student with a violation of the shape of clothes. It’s summer, it’s hot, with three open buttons. We are going to ask him for documents to record the data and pass on to the command, and he asks him not to smoke, such as he is an athlete, he is going to go to some zone competitions in Kaliningrad and he really wants to go there, and for such a flight can also get away from the national team.

Our senior is an ambitious man, and he says that he is also an athlete at all, and here is about 500 meters to the red barrel, let's say, we will bet: if a student runs faster, then they will let him go, and if he loses, they will give up with a little bit. Well, standing on the line, I commanded: “At the start – Attention – March.”

At the first hundred meters, our commander went into a good break, but I did not have time to boast of them, as it turned out that at the second hundred meters the student turned to the nearest street, and while the commander, rushing to the goal, noticed this, the student had already left the trail.

The ruler, when he goes on a long journey, should not call with him friends, but those who are dangerous to leave in the capital.

In 1993, the French electrician Emile Lere drove his "Citroen 2CV" through Morocco (where and why - history is silent). He had a full tank, a supply of water and food, 2 additional fuel cans and a trailer.
After leaving the city of Tan-Tan to the southeast, Emile was stopped by the military at the post in Tilem. “The road is closed! A zone of armed conflict between Morocco and Western Sahara.
Emil turned around. Having taken a decent distance, he turned off the road and went deep into the desert, hoping to bypass the forbidden zone. Driving around it was quite acceptable. Only occasionally the car jumped on the rocks naked. Lare used to the shocks of the suspension and decided to increase the speed a little. On one of the fingers, the car jumped a little higher and knocked his nose with a loud metal scratch.
The inspection showed that the lower lever of the suspension and the front part of the frame was broken, the front axle was bended. Lere dismantled the car and came to the conclusion that it was impossible to repair under such conditions.
Not walking to people. But there is a supply of food and water for a few days, a tool and a bunch of spare parts. Why not build a motorcycle from steel?
Thro the night, Emile was thinking about all the complexities of the project: how, what, how long. There is no right to error in the desert. Finally, I decided to build. I started 2CV this morning.
The body he did not break down, adapted under the housing. In order not to burn at work, I had to make shorts with short sleeves. Of the tools were keys, cloves, hammer and metal scissors. To make a hole in the sheet of metal, Lere bended it in half, cut it off with a scissor, bended and beat out the weakened plate of metal. Of course, when assembling he tried to use the already existing holes. It was especially difficult to regulate the gas and traction. The drives had to be disassembled and reworked many times, until, finally, the "steel camel" began to obediently touch and accelerate. Managing the "apparatus" was fucking difficult with a weight of about 200 kg.
All the work took 12 days.
The water had already ended when Lere drove to civilization on a trampoline without brakes.
The first police patrol fined him for driving an unregistered vehicle.

Life has taught me two important lessons. I don’t remember the first one, and the second one needs to be recorded.

I was going to visit my older sister, she called me and said, "I am in the clinic, as soon as you come - put up to cook potatoes."

While I drove from the platform to the house, I called my niece — she was ten at the time — and asked, “Do you know how to clean the cardboard?” He answers something like, well... I didn’t have my children at the time, in addition, at that age I already cleaned potatoes on a constant basis, so that answer convinced me quite well, and I told my niece to proceed with the task.

I come in 15 minutes - she opens the door to me all in tears, hands cut - in blood and dirt (I didn't wash the potatoes), in the trash - cleaning the thickness of the fingers, and lies a single potato - the size of a ping pong ball.

She regretted her niece, of course, then taught her to use a knife. And now this case is always remembered to laugh.

And I just went on a date =) after which there was no second either:

In the process of communication there was a conversation about romance... The girl asked me the question: Basyan, what is romance for you?

I: Dinner, the road going to the horizon, I’m on a motorcycle...

The girl behind you hugging you.

Why a girl? O_O

I have four children, and like many, children sometimes come at night and say, “Dad, I have a monster under my bed.” We love animals, dogs, cats and many other cute creatures. I think cats or dogs could laugh under the bed at night and scare a child with a rich imagination. I once said to my daughter, "We have an empty cage, we would have some more life to bring home. You said, “What kind of monster you live there... Let’s catch it!” For a couple of nights in a row, she honestly tried to notice him to tell me, but in the morning she was upset that she could not find the monster.

Xxx: I'm sorry for the off-top, but are the family quarrels of the wizards happening with the involvement of truffles or magic sticks?



Yyy: Magic sticks and magic holes.

In the 90s, when my father was paid a wage at the factory with some unnecessary products, my mother began to tie shirts, hats, sweaters and wore to sell on the market. At first, just by hand, standing at the entrance, then opened IP and rented an official seat. Then, in addition to his, woven products, began to take clothes for resale from his acquaintance. Then she began to drive for this clothes to major wholesale markets. Then began to carry large wholesale batches for other Ipshniks. Thus, for 30 and a little years, on her hobby, she raised the whole family, bought an apartment for the children, and arranged a home for the soul.

I go home from Moscow by train. I sit at the window. A man and a woman aged 40 are in front of me.

A man takes a huge suitcase on the wheels and puts it right above me on the upper shelf. Half of the suitcase hangs from the shelf. The further dialogue:

I: Man, take your suitcase off the shelf, it’s dangerous.

M: We have no place in our feet to put him, people walk side by side, nothing will happen to him on top, where do I put him?

I: Well, if you are so sure, move him closer to you from me, so that he does not fall on my head.

Q: Girl you are so interesting, and he thinks that should fall on my husband's head or me?

A ten-second scene, a passing conductor begins to argue, a worcha man removes the suitcase.

Here, while a conductor stands next to it, another man with a child comes in. A couple of villages in their place. The woman suggested: since you are still late (before leaving another 10 minutes), sit down on the free seats, we have already unloaded things and top clothes.

The man who has tickets to these places says: if we were late, the train would have left, here is not a show in the theater, free the seats.

The spouses blow, deliberately pull the rubber, gather like turtles. Eventually, they leave with shaken faces. It turned out that their seats were side-by-side, which were cheaper.

A foreign horse always eats less and paws deeper.