My mom promised to bring me a wheel.
I: How about the hammer?

Why are Daniel and I in a couple?
You have the same character.
WOW: What is his character?
Oh, he’s such a ballbuster.

Can anyone explain to me, after purchasing a licensed film, what sort of scary inscription on a black background I must see from the first shot, frightening me with articles from the criminal code and promising to put me in jail for a few years?

Girls in note. A fool is the same as a fool.

It was I who presented a friend with a salute “Garrem” last year.
The family celebrated the New Year in Moscow.

Well, when the president announced to the country that everything was fine, and it would be wonderful in general, Iljuha and Olga, together with all their fellow citizens, swallowed a bottle of wine, ate little, took a salute and went to the prospectus, where it was already rumbling.
And I explained to them that “Harem” is a combined salute. That is, there is first a beautiful fountain of fire, and then eighteen good hallways.
It is necessary, I said to Elijah, to put it in this way, and then burn it here and set it on fire. And then, say, go away and admire yourself.

According to Ilya, he did so.
Everything is shooting around, and in the sky it blows.
He did not hurry to prepare everything, looked around, convinced that no one was aimed at him with any "Roman candle", and at the same time no one steals, so as to shake "Harem" when he turns it on and runs away.

Well, he exposed the fitil, set fire and went away.

He told about this:
No, we did not see the fountain. It instantly smoke. somewhere,
I have a belt. I saw it on TV when I showed it.
Documentary about the landing of ships on the shore of the Maritime Division
The Infantry. One smoke, nothing is visible, and the commentator says that there is a division
And with tanks. Somehow you believe him. Everything grumbles and lies and
“Ura” is screaming.
At the same time, “Ura” is also shooting around.
and smoke.
And there, in the smoke, maybe there is a fountain of fire, if you didn’t fuck, I don’t know.
And people are standing around – their dohuya came out of the houses to shoot and watch.
And here they stand from the belt and above, looking astonished at the smoke, suspicious of us and Olga, and the shooting is silent.
No one is hunting to bend to burn another fitil.
You go down into that smoke, and there, you know. Maybe a Marine Division.

And it wrapped everything around. I already understood that the fountain was either fucking or we were crawling it for smoke, and I prepared my fingers on my arms and feet to count eighteen rounds.
And I also think, "And if this smoke instead of a fountain, what will be instead of the rails? »

Everyone around looks at us. Some other fools are afraid.
And why are we standing here, smoking everything, and we do not leave.

And then something broke in the center of our smoke, a sling broke out, as if this box had jumped and fell on the side, and the smoke had ended.
At that time, we were all in our hands and stuck!

What about those eighteen shots?! to
There were a lot of people there and without us.
They applauded only us.

Was it boring? Just send SMS: “I’m pregnant!” by a random number.

Silv_m> watched TV at dinner. Whether in 65, or in 1975, the French decided to launch a cat for the first time in space, long prepared for tests, trained a special cat Felix. One hour before launch, the cat escaped from the start complex.
Silv_m> caught a random cat that was on the cosmodrome, pushed into a capsule, launched, flew for 15 minutes, landed successfully, alive... came to pick it up, opened, she immediately also fled) a slide, somewhere in France the descendants of the space cat run.
Ell> They launched her journey in a box of cheese

This is New York!! This city never sleeps!!! to
The voice from the window: Because of you, fools!!!! to

Who did your parents want, a boy or a girl?
Fuck, the fuck knows. They say they wanted each other. And I appeared...

xxx: decided here recently in a counter strike to break up, to remember the turbulent youth. This is funny too XD
YYY: Is that funny?
xxx: well, for us a user played with Nick Alinka, and played, by the way, not bad. And when Alinka had a hard time with the money, one of the men from the team gave him his machine. And the story is this: I accidentally shot Alinka, and there is such a bass in the voice chat: "You ohuel what?and "
See also: XD
A man from our team is like this:"And Alinka is a transvestite!". Alina has left us. I was offended.

Yesterday, a man went into the elevator with me and looked at me as if he had split his eyes.
Usually they say they dressed.
Lena: Yes, I know, but the fact is that his eyes were telling me that I was already dressed!

Program for working with a webcam:

XXX is passing?
YYY : SHE
YYY: all
YYY: The Path
Fuck, I am a shit.

J: By the way, Nastia will come to us tonight.
M: Your mother...
What you don’t like about Nathan.
M: It feels like she was born on the planet of Schleswig. There are no brains, no breasts, the head is inhabited by cockroaches.

Listen, if I have sex with a pregnant girl (well 3-4 months pregnant), will she get pregnant again? If so, when will the baby be born? A few months after the first or what? I just don’t understand such things very well.

taken from one forum:
Well, now I learned all the details of wearing pants under my ass.
I knew a long time ago that the fashion of wearing pants so low came from American prisons where prisoners are prohibited from wearing a belt. How low should I drop my pants? It turned out that how low the pants sit is determined by how much a prisoner wants and is willing to enter into, to put it gently, a close relationship with another prisoner. Since it is impossible to talk about this with supervisors in public places outside the camera, they have come up with this method of delivering signals to each other. The lower the trousers, the more ready and willing he is. Then this fashion went into normal life. So guys, pull up your pants, bleat!

I recorded the customer’s address by phone and asked:
What code is in the entrance?
The client asked surprised:
How do you know about the cat? As an ordinary hairy cat, you will not be allergic to wool.

x: VKontakte commentary to audio "Sounds of Nature"
X: I quote: Just the hair becomes dumb... The tears turn and the whole life flies before my eyes... A real relaxation!
N: I imagined myself in a different way.
X: This is the last relax, fatal

Laziness is the instinct of self-preservation, common sense, when the brain on the subconscious says to you, "Don't do this hinyu, no one needs it!"

by Ilya 17:39
Have the pony already appeared in the macdake?
Rome at 17:40
Aha
I just need to ask for a happy mil for a girl.
They will get some Pokémon if they need them.

Baas.org slowly but correctly turns into answers to mail.ru ))