I woke up today, looked out the window... The sun was rising... I thought I was still up. Then I looked at the clock and realized it was sitting.

I am not cold, I am in my hat.
2: I can’t see anything.
1: It is in your pocket

Do not put your finger in your mouth.
Would it go away?

We have one at work with the name Black.
That’s how the employees offer him to call his son a coat =))

Depends on 6 heroes. Mother comes
Do you need to wash something dark?
I: (artistically, loudly and pathetically) if only my dark merciless soul!
Mom: (with the same indiscriminate tone) Oh, and I still wash my shirt...

In the discussion of the boy star "big difference":
A very interesting boy.
Grow up and get married to Pugacheva.

A big greeting to the people who call on January 1 at 17 am :D

XXX: He introduced me to the course of affairs.
XX: That means he introduced me to the course of affairs...
YYY: Oh yes, introduce me to your course of affairs!

Employees are allowed to work on public holidays only with the permission of the Director-General or his Deputy on the basis of previously submitted lists.

Harsh New Year holidays.

Here in Central America, behind parking spaces for disabled people, there are often signs: “Do you want a chair like mine?” So don’t take my parking lot". In my opinion, inventive.

with u: Mother attacks subtle hints: she left a calendar on the table, and on it the inscription "Do you want to make a million? Go to work!"

I went to the store on New Year’s Eve. People are purchasing products with such persons as if they had declared war on the United States, and it is urgent to remove all goods from the shelves.

The question
I live alone in my apartment, I earn well, I will meet the New Year alone. But! I am happy!
What is wrong with me?
answered
A full man!

It is noted: dust does not sit only on money... It just doesn’t have time!

I studied at the farm institute for a veterinarian. The summer session approached to the end was surrendered relatively well, although the head was hit by a few others: summer, heat, sea, (bycal) sun, water, and then some session grabbed, but it is necessary to surrender since more than half have already learned and not hunted into the army.
My friend, a city guy (let’s call him the woods) lived in the center in the private sector and asked me to help him put up a fence, one is not friendly, and I’m a village guy. There would be enough electricity for beer and boards - I said to a foolish question of Petya (I will call it) beer with boards in abundance. They began to ward off the hostile world by abundantly soaking the process with beer (hot for 30 grams anyway) and by 9 p.m. the fence stood beautiful and wooden. It was necessary to wash it, and how else, suddenly not washed will fall again, go for a walk around the city and drink beer.
I forgot to say that I had to take the clinical exam in the morning.
c of animals. In general we loaded the picture so that we slept for 3 hours in the morning for the exam This was a fairy tale, but now the story itself.
The bush was sick, the legs were cotton, the cats were sleeping in the mouth, how to go to the exam with such a load? They approached the group, everyone was in shock, said the professor, the current of 5 people passed. We scratched the woody tail to do nothing - you can do so if a couple of words, and if you did not come to the exam, then there may be problems.
For the sake of justice, I will note that the predecessor was a good good demanding man, a real Abolite of the countryside, not especially complaining about pupils, just accepted the book and everything, the podhalimov did not like, and with normal boys and girls communicated well. Such a good village man. I loved drinking, but never lost my mind. So here we went to the exams, we laid the checkpoints and supposedly slept at the last parties. I thought in a couple of words we will be treated at the lark and on the transfer we will cubatury, the shortest wowa to fall asleep began and I sat in such a state shilo, pull my hand and ask to answer without preparation, I think I immediately recognize and all. He sat in front of the professor and placed a ticket, and, miraculously, a student flew into the office and placed before the professor a bottle of cool, pure, delicious mineral water, and his eyes glittered. Oh, I thought to see the teacher do the fence yesterday too.
He says, opens the bottle and begins to drink, deliciously so.
Like a camel after the desert, my head turned. Put a bottle.
On the table, his eyes are amused, he looks at me and says, “How do you?”
I respond badly. Drink and look at the bottle. Without hesitation, he poured out probably half a titration with one throat, put it on the table, and the professor tells me - and now how? I respond well.
Okay, so I write it up and put it in the record well. I am just off the chair.
has not fallen. I’m not the only one who says, the cowboy is also bad where he is.
He’s here... – suits the wolf, he’s heard our conversation – also drink? and sing. He drinks and woes, and the preacher asks how you do the woes.
Good luck, happy wolf
“You lie,” said the professor, “you’re fine too. He gives us an assessment and gives us an assessment. I have to say the last exam. The summer ahead. And for such a gift to the respected teacher a package of medicines with sausage and what was hotter was presented.A real teacher, thank you. P.S. I work in my profession.

When you watch the "United Russia" congress on television, Stalin's deed, who shot the majority of delegates of the similar congress of the VKP(b), ceases to seem so monstrous.

I got the cognac, and you?

I eat at work.

HH: I am the same...

There is such a tradition in the last days of the passing year to read the best of this year =)

We, the parents of the seven-year-old son, ask him: - and you guessed what Santa Claus will give you?
I guessed...
And what? (To make sure you choose a gift)
I won’t say, or it won’t happen :)
How to?