bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №135741
 10.11.2016
I went into the elevator today and I don’t understand: is it still Obama or is it already Trump?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №135740
 10.11.2016
A physicist can be a lyric, but not a turnaround.
A physicist can be literate?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №135739
 10.11.2016
We sit in the plane before departure. Someone is angry that she doesn’t have a blanket. The man who sits behind her stretches her. She asks:"How do you?" The man answers:"And I’m going out soon".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №135738
 10.11.2016
It is a joy that our chancellor-friend, throwing on people for shorts, now has two more children - now teaches a young boy that it is supposedly shameful to dress up to cowards in front of the FAMILY.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №135737
 10.11.2016
Trump on TV: I respect women, I respect women, my mother...
I was a woman! :)
Why are you laughing? In America, these things need to be clarified.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №135736
 10.11.2016
Wife: Interestingly, when I write the word Vadim (son), Skype offers me the words from the bottom: soppy, pick up and upset.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №135735
 10.11.2016
A friend came to visit, the owner of a laptop with a matrix 12.1. I asked my note (17,1') to see something. Her first words: "Oh thy! How big it is!"
The guys! How I understood you all at that moment!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №135734
 10.11.2016
Again, I am told that there is no internet. by electronic letter. Through the Internet.


[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №135733
 10.11.2016
<Aleksandr> "Yesterday. Unable to cope with the load burned the factory for burning photographers"
<Industar> only to burn the photographers :(
<Olka> and I’m not a photographer))) now I’m not even an amateur))
<Industar> Three times before dawn you will renounce yourself

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №135732
 10.11.2016
It is not a matter of shit. The man’s logic is like that. Give someone a mouth - I am a hero, I was given a mouth - here is a fox; eat all the bananas without leaving a piece to my wife - I am a hero, eat bananas without me - here is a fox.
By the way, there are not so many women who use this "male" logic, although women demonstratively have no such possibility.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №135731
 10.11.2016
From comments to the news about the election of Trump:

"From the pipe of Admiral Kuznetsov came white smoke.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №135730
 09.11.2016
Gamers have assembled a gaming computer for $11,000.

xxx: But the frisures in Assassin's Creed Unity still remain.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №135729
 09.11.2016
Madonna has announced that she will have oral sex with every voter who votes for Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton.
The threat seems to have taken action.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №135728
 09.11.2016
We also had a story on a similar topic. The case was in the 90s, the food itself wasn't what was, so the dogs were happy to buy any unsuitable by-product for people, the good was where. We lived with a friend in a private house; she has two of her own dogs, on natural food, and mine, the metis spaniel, a crooked, naughty jumping face on a diet after enteritis. The neighbor pulled a bunch of beef carcasses, including bull hernia. Imagine, I am standing in the kitchen, a gentle trembling fialko, I hold this unit in my hands with two fingers, and I think about how to cut it... or so to weld, and here the dogship jumps, pulls the object out of his hands and immediately hurts into the yard, because he knows what to scratch. Furthermore, all those who wanted could observe how a dog with a whirlwind in the teeth is carried in the courtyard, and behind it is a stunned mistress with a cry of "fu!" Get back immediately! It is not yours!"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №135727
 09.11.2016
*xxx included the Imperial March*
WOW: If somewhere a galactic empire ever appears, it will be obliged to take it as a hymn, there is no other option.
Oh yeah, it wasn’t on the Voyager record, oh no...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №135726
 09.11.2016
A lady goes on the phone and quarrels with a man for the whole quarter:
Do not dare to call me that! Do not laugh!! I am not crazy! I am Julia Konstantinovna.! to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №135725
 09.11.2016
Description of the bug: "Button behavior does not correspond to the user’s mental model".

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №135724
 09.11.2016
From the Mommy Forum (Chelyabinsk):

Q: Can I give yearly nuts?
You can, but only cleaned.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №135723
 09.11.2016
Chere Mila: I'll go to the psychiatrist :) don't ask why, the whole life answer :) Then I'll tell you what's curious happened

Chere Mila: She said I’m more normal than normal people. It’s so similar to my own completely abnormal opinion that I now doubt if it’s normal. But she is so cool...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135722
 09.11.2016
From the comments to the news about the closure of 25 porn sites by the prosecutor’s office:

Mimishka: I thought the prosecutor’s office didn’t work, and it wasn’t working.
The mosquitoes probably struck.

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