You want to laugh?

Republicans in Texas say Russia is sending gay people to destroy America.

Well, what cattle, after flying to hunt for dinosaurs, once again hit a butterfly?! to

zzz: I was excited to buy a model of a European shipwreck for the channels - penny. And somehow suddenly realized that some search engines see the situation differently.
"Maybe you meant "to buy an assembly penis model?" - they tell me.

Some even show pictures.

D is girl
P is a guy

P - by statistics, the peak of sexual desire in men at 19 years, and in women at 36
D-Ah, only at 19, you have little experience to give a woman pleasure.
P and you have a little.
P - you're now as an employer - "You don't have experience fuck, so we won't fuck you"
Where do you get experience if you’re not allowed to fuck?
D is logical)

Mayor of Nikolaev (Ukraine)

Most people are against crematories, because in Christian religions it is forbidden to burn people, because the Second Coming is coming, and everyone will have to get up from the graves to meet – literally, if we speak, so people do not use crematories, even if it is time.

XXX is:
Ragnarok is cancelled. They just that Fener had hit the actor Panina.

YYY :
Showing on NTV?

and ZZZ:
Rather on Rental.

Elections in the United States 2016
xxh: in the course of the case, the Pendoza carried out the unsuccessful Russian dream - preserved and voted for Zhirik :D

I was in Astral yesterday.
Olga: I came home, the car froze, cleaned it to take my grandmother away. There was ice, my mother was afraid that my grandmother would turn around.
How the chicken was wet.
The jacket through.
Is she not sick?
Olga: I am strong
Olga: I can't: I am a wife and a mother
Olga: they are prohibited by law
Olga: to us

Taska creates a character in a computer game. His name is "Tanya".
I: "And why is it so modest?"
Tessa quietly washes the cloth. In the right window appears the "Queen".

Logically what...

Very educational.

The umbrella is a decreasing-loving from the word "sort", today in the vast majority of cases so called a female umbrella."

You are wrong, exactly the opposite. The word “Zontik” was borrowed from the Niderl. zondec – the curtain from the sun on the ship. Later, the last slang "ik" was discarded because of the similarity with the diminishing-lapping suffix, forming the usual word "sonde".

I work as a bank analyst. An application from a credit expert with a description of the business of a potential customer:
...the customer has exclusive contracts with suppliers, which gives him strong competitive advantages in the market. He had, has and will have clients.

I lived the way they would talk about me at my funeral.

To the story of Neko Loshi about that “In the background of that war we still live well, healthy and happy. In addition to those unfortunate people who always lack something, the bitterness of the ruble falls by another 50 cops. And that kind of shit.”

It is all so, of course...

My grandmother also remembered the eyes of a German pilot... who stormed a refugee column on the way to Minsk, and she was sitting in the body with a 7-month-old mother on her arms... and it was the greatest happiness then – not to be injured and to sit in the body of a truck, which still had fuel in the tank.
Because the rest of the ants slipped on foot along the side, with suitcases and chariots, crawling through dead horses, burning chariots, cars, and bombed tanks.
And through the bodies of those who were even less fortunate, although many of them breathed it.

50 kopecks to the rate of the ruble is nonsense, I do not argue. Russia is almost at war.
I am not a “Western” in my personal beliefs. I don’t earn a lot, but I would easily withstand with my family and another 50 rubles to the course. If I could see that this is an inevitable calamity, coming entirely from there, and the whole country suffers from it, we are all more or less equal.

But here is the problem – I live in Moscow, and therefore I see especially clearly that to whom is the war, and to whom is the Mother’s birthplace.

Petrers also see the Gazprom construction at Ohta. Very cheap and timely construction.
And I see that Bentley and Maybach on the capital streets did not get less, rather the opposite. That in social networks, then and then, the pictures of the next person holding the power, "caught" in the next hours for 30.. 250... 600 thousand euros. Or for a million. Or even more.

And I also see there - on the Internet and on TV - constantly screaming for help: a child dies, the diagnosis is confirmed, the operation is done, the cure is guaranteed... but only in a foreign clinic. The disease is very rare, in the country hundreds of cases per year. The sum is unrealistic for the average family, but compared to a million is not cosmic at all. Usually in the price range of "under-officer" hours for 20-50 thousand. The Euro. The state, of course, can help nothing. Save my boy! Save my mother!

At some point, I had a strange habit. To measure all the amounts stolen in the dead girls, yes.
Limit amounts of unnecessary or ineffective expenditure of budgets and state-owned enterprises - municipal, urban, regional. State budget, funds of state corporations.
The giant amounts of underpaid taxes from the exploitation of the country’s subsoil, on which the seven-month-old girl Masha from any distant country, wishing to live up to one year, has no less, exactly the same rights as the daughters and grandchildren of presidents of Rosneft, Lukoil, Gazprom, and it is scary to say, President of what else.
Taxes that did not reach the budget legally (due to the “friends for friends” favourite regime of the mining corporations) or illegally, due to the unhindered application of a multitude of clever international schemes that are only available to very large around the world.
The amounts that have come to light are "money" found in the safe of the chief of the shift at the customs post, the larger amounts stolen by purely state craftsmen and their mistresses, who are unknown how they occupy the highest posts in the army, and serious amounts found in the apartments of real personnel colonels - fighters against corruption.
Finally, the prices of foreign and domestic real estate, Maybach and Bentley, watches and jewelry from the capital's official-oligarchic secular chronicles.

And now cut me down, kill me, but I don’t know who would be harder for me to put my hand on – that German pilot who, though he was the exemplary product of the most human-eating ideology in human history, still believed that he is killing the enemy, “cleaning the living space of the German people,” and fighting in such a terrible way against strangers, for his country...
Or these figures in hours for a million or 100k euros, who are crushed about insufficient patriotism in the ungrateful population, teach us “correctly love the Motherland”, send to the “wrong” exhibitions and performances these groups of “Horoughenos with castets”, and on the TV screen – a cute young man with the song “Well, you wear a fig?” (in a censored version).

What are you wearing? Do you live much better than in Somalia?
Where do you go, stinking rye, with your questions – and why should we, living on wages, go between us to treat the dying girl Masha, to be taken and rescued to another country, where these operations have long been done to all citizens on health insurance or state subsidy? And why does the budget in Norway fall in the end to 81% of the sale of extracted oil, and we only 36%? Why did the Olympics cost 18 times more than the average of the previous three winter games? But there are rumors, in Saudi Arabia, in the UAE, in Kuwait, even in the state of Alaska, citizens receive dividends from mining from the subsoil? And finally, why are we producing the most oil in the world, although we are only eighth in reserves, and what will happen to us when the oil is out?

Don’t ask too many questions, and don’t worry. Grizzly shale, steep pedals. Do sports, let go of the pair. For meat and big you have enough for now, shops are working and cyclists are not shot - rejoice. In Somalia, you know... So be an exemplary citizen.

I will... for now.
But for some reason I already have the feeling that this is the next mother of the girl Masha, to whom the state says, “...we can’t treat this. And the money to pay for treatment abroad is what you are! There is no money, no! Break through the central TV, gather through the innet - the people are good at us... in their mass. Or keep it anyway. Young people, you are giving birth!” – so, this mother feels NOW not much better than the mother of a wounded girl, who pressed her to the chest on the terrible side of the June front road to Minsk three quarters of a century ago.

At least because then it was clear to THIS mother – the enemy – he was all there, in the rumbling and shooting air... well, on the ground, of course, but for now still beyond the horizon, far west. Here, on the side, no matter how scary, but on the earth around – all its own...
And this modern mother, what does she think now?

Poroshenko proposed to Barack Obama, who is leaving the post of president of the United States, to occupy the vacant chair of the governor of the Odessa region.

Wasn’t this devil taken from the sky? By the way, if you believe Wikipedia, something close to the modern umbrella appeared in the 17th century in France.
The French were not very confused with terms. What does an umbrella do? Stops the rain - umbrella (parar - stop, pluie - rain), and stops the sun - umbrella. Also, by the way, and in Spanish - parasol and paraguas.From the French word parasol was borrowed from Polish. The Poles were apparently not interested in the subtlety of using the umbrella (from the sun or from the rain), so the word lived in both meanings. Well, from the Polish umbrella came to the Ukrainian, where a little slavised. So it turned out funny for the Russian ear " umbrella" in the Russian language appeared " umbrella", and only then - " umbrella". This is due to the fact that "zonnetek" is a Dutch word perceived by the Russian ear and digested in its own way. This is a shipping term, so it is not difficult to guess thanks to whose efforts and at what time the word appeared in our language. The Zonnedek on Dutch vessels is a tent that was stretched over the deck (dek) to protect from the sun (zonne).

xxx: Because they are usually not looking for a slave on the gallery level ebanoe.it. A dollar millionaire in 30 without registration and SMS is the case. More often it happens that you need to write 1x a line in the evening, and sometimes 100 lines are enough in a week. No one knows what will happen in a year. I don’t want to take a man for a year. A test task? Are you a programmer or demagogue? Do you know how to write code?

YYY: You have now written something so incomprehensible and unrelated, as if you are not a human being, but a failed AI...

zzz: Judging by the fact that you respond as a person, you are quite successful.

Score in the CS-GO Timespike:
X: Yes, you have a pederast voice!
Y: You hear your echo in the microphone.
X Left the Game

I once asked a friend:
Do you want to see aliens?
(It was difficult to answer)
Then I asked again:
Do you want to see aliens but they don’t see you?
and yes!
Do you want to see aliens, but they want to see you too?
No is!

Sometimes it seems that in the songs of Spline you can change all the words for something rhythm of the same part of the speech - and the meaning will not change.
Take yourself in the legs, grandson of the Balinist
Take yourself in the legs.
From top to bottom they become predatory frogs.

^ Umbrella - decreasing-loving from the word "sonde"^
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
The carshell! Zonnedek literally means “the curtain from the sun.” It was in Russian that it was reduced to umbrella, deciding that -ik is a suffix. He came to us in the language precisely as "zontic".