I am crying)
The topic of the discussion (!) How to distinguish a virgin from (!) Ordinary woman?
Answer: If the ratio of the square of the distance between the nipples to the difference in the number of teeth and ears is equal to the volume of the thighs divided by the volume of the waist is greater than 1.44 - then the woman is necessarily virgin.
Just like that)

I really felt that I live in Peter when walking on a weekend night in the Duma watched a picture as one just in a salad drunk guy stood and, absolutely not embarrassed by the illumination and the number of people around, watered the barrier, and at this moment from the company passing by no less blue was issued the phrase: A young man and you do not seem that it is a bit uncultured from your side to do so.

The kitchen is preparing for the feast, the cat runs through the kitchen, asking the masters: Well, cut me anything, well cut it!
Germany: Hans, this speaking cat seems to have to be to the scientific bureau!
England is you! The speaking cat. Let’s drink tea? You’ll tell me about your difficult life, we’ll play chess and walk around London!
Russia: If you don’t shut up, I’ll cut you down!

amendments to the law of our government on the prohibition of "cat topot" - I prepared - my 2nd dogs were strictly punished, promised not to subvert...

He worked as an engineer in one of the city's 1C companies. Since then, my father has been pushing me in this direction for a very long time and, as if, stopped. Today, my mom took a package with the logo 1C brought to me a few months ago, put it in and thoughtfully asks: I wonder, can it withstand a lot? Dad smiled, turned to my side, blinked and said, “Everything except updating, right, Vasek?”

Announcement at the City Forum:
I sell a faloimiter B / U, pink, relief, 20cm. It was not used for purpose.
Disadvantages: at the base scratched inscription "ya pipisco".

Gertzog: I am a girl. Confirm it is not difficult, there is a Skype, there is a microphone.
L'ecran: Sissy, how did I understand, isn’t it?

In Yulmart, the discount section sells the Death Star - a giant combat space station, equipped with energy weapons of extraordinary destructive power and capable of destroying entire planets. Comments from buyers:
Is she on wheels?? to
Shelaev Andrey Vladimirovich: Is it necessary to change the rubber for the winter or will it run?
DarthAlex: I don’t use ion guns. How to update the driver?
Realpartzet: When will the new party appear? I am very close to the house, the rebels are noisy in the evening, I cannot sleep.
Dmitry is a great thing! I use it for the second year, never broken.
Master YODA: I will give it whole or in spare parts by authority... Not beaten, not painted... The second master... Ask YODA...
Jonick: Since this year, my Death Star has to make insurance for the event of DTP in space all the time.

c 4pda comments on paper flashes

What they will not invent.
A paper smartphone, for example... talked, smiled, threw... talked, twisted, smoked

Domestic automotive industry did not get into the Top Gear broadcast of the worst cars in history, because of the The authors do not consider them cars.

Sometimes I think the wires under my desk will be easier to break.

When a lie becomes the norm, the truth is persecuted.

From one of the sports websites:

xxx:"If some fans think I don’t respect them, I hope they understand it isn’t!"

Chernomyrdin turned in the grave after this phrase

YYY: approvingly turned

The news of the crash of the oil train. The stones:
The oil is running at such a speed that the railways can no longer cope with such a load.

I lie in the hospital with a knee injury, today I had to have a novocaine blockade to do. I lie in expectation. However, instead of the blockade, I was suddenly placed with a huge enema. They are confused, mla... ><

As they said in our company: Wednesday has come - a week has passed
YYY: Did your company consist of students dismissed because of wow?

If your wife is a chicken, you are not an eagle.

I want a cat home. I dreamed of a black cat. I wore an animal in my dream until morning.

Especially for these:

I work as a seller. long time ago. I noticed regulation. If the buyer is a pair, he always pays! Regardless of age and social status. What is the matter? What can I not understand?

You are absolutely right, and I fully support you. M must pay, and J must pack all the goods in bags and drag them home. It is logical, isn’t it?

From Chat WOT:
Does anyone want to have a death note?
What is your name?
by Daniela
- recorded