Laughing at politicians is not a reason to choose them.

I needed to make an important call. I was afraid to remember, and decided to turn to artificial intelligence.
Alice, please remind me to call at 7 p.m.
Include a reminder.
The evening came, I safely did not forget, but I decided to wait for a reminder (although it sounds).
19:00 is silence.
19:01 - in confusion
Alice, why didn’t you remind me to call?
And I forgot.
Good people, is this intelligence really artificial?! to

To sell something unnecessary.
Aliexpress – buy something unnecessary
© by

We gathered for a family dinner.

My brother and I have almost one son. They go to the garden.

Children play in the children’s room and suddenly scream.

Give me the machine or I’ll hit you. A boy is screaming.

- Fighting is not good, - wisely notices the second.

Fight well! A fan of violent methods of conflict resolution. I’m knocking your door now!

Fighting is not good! The young man begins to get nervous.

I say you do well!

No, it is not good to behave! The young pacifist can’t stand and beats his brother with his fist in the eye.

I from 5 years to 17 every fucking weekend went to the country, on a fucking, overcrowded stool, grandmothers with wheelchairs, men with bodies, they were gathering there like on vacation. I was not so sad even when I was taken to the army, as before entering this branch of hell. How many times have I been beaten by fucking bags, and one day, by the flow of babies, I was taken off at the wrong stop and the bus left without me, a child’s injury forever.

I begged relatives to go later or get on the bus last, but they didn’t listen to me. At exactly 6 o’clock in the morning, a line of 666 people ran into the guard for 40 people. And now it seems all, there is not a single micron of free space, but the grandmothers with wheelchairs thought differently, they literally flowed like a liquid and occupied those atoms of free space.

For me, a puddle the size of a scarf, there was not enough air on the bottom of this hellish pot.

And then, around 6.15 a.m., "it" woke up and at this moment even the most stubborn grandmothers with the largest wheelchairs began to nervously read prayers.

At 6.16, fully awake, the conductor began to move. From nose to tail. She was like a icebreaker, blurring passengers, no "transfer for passage" only movement in front and a cold contemptible look. I was usually in the middle of the bus and awaited with horror the moment when it would pass by and with the same horror awaited the return of the conductor from the tail.

I just closed my eyes and gave myself to the fate, if it is supposed that my head will spit between the butt of the conductor and the grandmother's cart, then fuck him.

The problem is not that our power works badly, but that it works badly for our money.

I live on the first floor of a multi-storey building, working from home.
Most people go out for work during the day.
The rest are very sick. Every week an ambulance calls. After the doctor’s visit, the mailboxes were filled with advertisements.

I got tired of it and I inserted the cap for the entrance:
Hi to you! This is an ambulance, please open it.
Hi to you! Go through the drop to prove that you are not a robot. What happens at high pressure?
– Eeee
- Free

A few days later I call again:
The ambulance! Open it!
What happens at high pressure?
What...? Dybazole and Papaverine! Open it!
enter in

Before you crack the bubbles in the packaging polyethylene, remember - the air there is Chinese.

of Moscow. I sit somehow in the park on a bench, and nearby workers from nearby abroad work - set up borders along the road. I hear a dialogue between them.

“Russell, go away, I’ll move myself, you’re disturbing me!

Sabbath, are you God?

- Let's argue, will I move the broom, the pipe and the brush?

and ahaha! Allah will help you.

Sabit uses a large lever and moves the plate.

Oh yeah yeah yeah! and Sabbath! So unfairly! You used physics.

I served 10 years ago as a temporary officer in our internal troops. He served as a soldier’s kitchen chef. Before each meal from the medical unit, a woman-pastor must come to check the quality of the cooked and the absence of cyanide potassium, nails or glass beaten. Grandma is interesting. The bicycle continues. He told me in one of his visits.

"They brought a young guy to me, only to the service pulled out from the mommy's shirt. He tried this comrade in the "dryer" account with his life. It all shakes. I wonder why, I say, do this. The guy says he doesn’t want to be here, what he wants to do with his dad. I tell you to endure a little. Service for a year. You can’t look back at how time goes by. Dad is waiting for you. You will serve him right away. It reassured me how.

And then I take, he says, the personal case of this suicide and read that daddy has been dead for two years.

Uncomfortable how it happened...

When I was doing the repairs, my father moved me to the kitchen with the couch. I have chopped! My personal room. The kitchen in Stalingrad was huge. I immediately glued all Nirvana and Aerosmith. But the father ordered everything to be removed, jokes with the bullies of the colonel do not play. It was painful (

And now I watch my daughter glue her room with incomprehensible guys (I don’t even know their names). I asked about one, the daughter, what for a spire you hanged on the wall. It turned out that he was a drug addict who died of an overdose. Knowledge may suggest who it is (type may be a rapper, but I’m hz). In general, now I’m a father, and... I remembered my poster with Kurt Cobain. He stopped asking, he left. Every generation has a drug addict whose posters hang on the walls.

Over the years, I see the details worse, but the picture overall is better.

Today, my mom wanted to wash her precious crystal and so she turned on her favorite classics, poured wine on herself and told stories of her youth while I was washing everything in the closets. A wonderful woman.

The deal of the century: Sberbank bought ourselves at our expense.

When I got a report from my American colleagues about magnetic photography, where the field gradients were indicated in nanotests per foot (nT/ft), I wanted to send them our report the next time, in which nanotests per meter were converted into nanotests per arshin.

You had an apple and I gave you one more. How many apples do you have?

Yyy: one apple Because one + an apple = one apple.

xxx: your native language is java script

The last ones leaving the battlefield are not the heroes, but the maroders.

I will share my experience of purchasing goods with imposed payment.
The case is old, the times when there were no internet shops, but the service "goods by mail" worked.
Once I found a booklet from “Book by Mail” in my mailbox, I ordered a geographical atlas of the world. I don’t remember the price right now, but the atlas was quite expensive. When the mail received the package, the mind was not enough to refuse, because the banderoll was suspiciously small in size. Immediately unpacked and found that I was sent a 6x8 cm format souvenir booklet.
Yes, theoretically it was an atlas of the world, but to read something in it, I needed the Hubble Telescope, which I never had. In response to my calls for justice, the staff members of the communications department compassionately complained to me and angered me.
I found that advertisement at home. He killed a lot of time, but patiently ordered almost their entire library.
For two weeks I was beaten up by the postmakers with their demands to pick up a mountain of mailings. They were threatened with incomprehensible penalties, but I was morally prepared to do so and absolutely refused to receive them.
The books were returned to the sender.

The airline "Victory", whose aircraft due to the wind arrived at the destination one and a half minutes earlier, asked passengers to pay extra.

We had meetings with the Director-General once a week. At the same time, there was a strict rule that all mobile phones should be turned off. At my first meeting, the head of the transport department was deprived of a part of the prize for ringing his phone. I learned the lesson.

as though.

At the second meeting I sit in the company of other bosses (their 30-40 people), some of whom I don’t even know. In the middle of the meeting, a cocooning begins. Nothing surprising – on the street summer, green outdoors, open windows. But then I realize it’s knocking my phone in my pocket.

It was my first phone — Panasonik (pictured in the comments) with polyphony, seven different background lights, and a factory recording of a cowboy in the woods.

The phone is knocking, and I’m afraid to move, but I see a few people counting how much they’re knocking. Very carefully and imperceptibly, I manage to cut off the challenge in my pocket. And I see how these people breathe unhappy, not counting until twenty.

And I got so much adrenaline that I even got a “ku” in this job.