bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №135681
 08.11.2016
in the confession.
The Holy Father is no more. There is no money, children need to be raised. I don’t know how to live on... and want to eat deliciously and dress well.
It’s all temptation from the devil. Be reconciled to what is. and tolerate it.
– Holy Father, I saw in your courtyard very nice big cars.
The priest interrupts:
You noted everything correctly! Do you know what their expenses are? 20 to 25 liters. We also tolerate! Where to go?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №135680
 08.11.2016
Can you explain how relationships differ from relationships?
Relationships are in the database, and relationships are when the brains fuck.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №135679
 08.11.2016
N+1: Astrophysicists have discovered the most distant source of high-energy gamma radiation. Its light has traveled to us for just over seven billion years.
Artyom Avramenko: Finally came or I waited
Valery Pokotilov: roughly the same speed goes pants from Ali-Express

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №135678
 08.11.2016
xxx: I have a couple of jokes about your breasts, but they are flat.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №135677
 08.11.2016
I thought everything was stupid on my job until I went to Answers.Mailer's section "Technique".

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №135676
 08.11.2016
Now I am in the electric car in the tambour and the door has not closed outside. The people are filled, hanging in the hole, risking to fall out on the way, and at this time the aunt is somewhat out of the wagon and cries: Are you coming out here? I have to go out! The man tells her not to worry, maybe many will come out on the road.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №135675
 08.11.2016
Today I was in a tea house in Riga, with girls 13 and 14 years old sitting next to them and talking loudly about the mask, their age and the boys. But then suddenly I heard one issued "and there this ruby is still stupid, nothing is understood"
xxx> Others said they have a pitch, and everything is understood
But until I understood what they were saying about computer science in school, I almost had time to go to a schizophrenologist.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №135674
 08.11.2016
You just need to know that not everything you say on the phone or TV can be believed. What is wrong with this?
YYY: And now how? Can you believe what is said on TV?
xxx: Well how to say... Here I am when my dishes, I never lack two drops of detergent! He is just angry! So it’s all well :)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №135673
 08.11.2016
I moved to Germany for six months to work. I speak German, but I need to improve my level.The organization in which I work has decided to arrange German improvement courses for foreign workers. Within two months (!) Courses did not start because they could not find a German teacher. and in Germany (!) And finally that day came, and the teacher they were looking for for so long was... a Romanian with a fierce accent, who had lived in Mexico for 13 years before that XD and another group found a Russian teacher, as if someone else, apparently... I love the Germans, they are so logical.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №135672
 08.11.2016
Your will shall be done
In this case, it will not only mean future time. Shall has a shade of promise, guarantee, not just "Your will will be fulfilled", but "Your will will be fulfilled", "I promise that your will will be fulfilled". It also corresponds to a more formal, formal style of speech.
It has nothing to do with (in particular) illiteracy and (or) simplification of grammar in American English. On the contrary, the usage shall be characteristic of good British English.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №135671
 08.11.2016
This was in 2011, summer, August. Walking with a friend around the area, at the stop, they saw a man lying on the asphalt, as placed in a hole of urine and with a bowl of some alcohol near his head. I was warned that I was dressed decently, aged 35-40 years. Well, I think everything happens, sleep at any age. Then I looked up and saw a small slice under my head and an iPhone and wallet coming out of my load pocket. Shortly thinking I checked whether he breathed (breathed) and immediately called the ambulance, where I was clarified about the smell of alcohol and the appearance of the victim, they said that they would get along. A couple of minutes later came a family couple, asking what to help, left to discuss the situation. There the iPhone in the pocket of the lying, his mother called. I approached and when she heard the voice of not her son she began to panic, I calmed her as I could and asked her to come to us if she lives not far away. She lived across the road and ran in what she was in her coat, shoes, and the obvious thing in tears. Seeing the son began to whisper that the son is dead, I told her that he is breathing and it is better not to lift him or move him, well on the street +30. She handed her phone and her son’s wallet, and she seemed to be calm. Here the police arrived, saw that the man was not a bombe and alkas and called the ambulance, 15 minutes passed as we found him. Five minutes later, an ambulance arrived and took the man to the hospital. He found out the number of the mother of the victim before her departure with her son to the hospital. A couple of weeks later I called to ask how things were going. He said that his son had an epileptic seizure, for the first time in 39 years, thanked.



People, be careful and do not pass by. All are good.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №135670
 07.11.2016
Americans, who are you waiting for tomorrow? Boy or girl?

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №135669
 07.11.2016
Once in the school asked to fill out some questionnaires, I accidentally noticed that a neighbor on the party in the column “nationality” wrote “Ariez”:
The Arians? What are you...? About yourself like that...?! to
Take care of.
Looking at “Mary”

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №135668
 07.11.2016
The manager delayed his salary for three months. We survive with our colleagues, as we can, on all the savings. Due to the lack of extra funds for trips to the dining room, food (very scarce) we carry with us. Recently, I found in the corner of the freezer a pack of shrimp that I bought for my birthday and forgot about them. They prepared their lunch for joy. But, judging by the animal views of colleagues, taking pasta with shrimp to work at such a difficult time was a failed idea.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №135667
 07.11.2016
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ha ha ha. The neighbor threw the tree today. 7.11 and 16.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135666
 07.11.2016
xxx> need to learn java what=that while there is time at work. Something is broken.
yyy> yeah they, look at the video with the enotics
xxx and gt; where?
yyy> I don’t know where it should be
xxx> I am generally harmful to look at the enotics, I had an imaginary friend-enot in my childhood. It is dangerous! Will he suddenly come back?
yyy> so what about it? Do you think he’ll tell you what you’ve done with your life, did you dream of flying to another planet, or something like that?
xxx> yes

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №135665
 07.11.2016
From comments to the article on Hicks:
XHH: And I also had a friend who adhered to paleo diets. They ate what was in the Paleolithic period. hit me with this. I also went in once, I asked him, “Do you have a salad of washed vegetables?” he was upset. I then offered him not to fry or buy meat in the store, but directly from the cow to bite in pieces.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №135664
 07.11.2016
TheShock: What about the pros and cons of calcium compared to cigarettes?
The one who thinks water cleanses smoke well has never burned in the bathroom.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №135663
 07.11.2016
How to fight alcoholism?
Do not drink!
No to drink. It doesn’t drink only because it sleeps during the day and is not sold at night.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №135662
 07.11.2016
Comments to the video "20mm anti-tank rifle against iMac"
Are they doing that hole for the headphones?

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