bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №74974
 28.12.2012
Viktor: It should not be as flat as my ass, but convoluted and voluminous
Viktor: as the thorns of the tits
Designer: I understand it!
You know how to make analogues.)
Designer: Speaking the Truth
Viktor: Meaning of the truth?
Designer: Well, Tanjuhu you wrote with a small letter, and your breasts with a large letter.

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74973
 28.12.2012
XXX: Where did he go?
YYY: Yekaterinburg-asbestos-Yekaterinburg-novosibirsk-vgno-novokuznetsk-vgno-office-vgno

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74972
 28.12.2012
The spectator:
We are not entitled to answer any questions! ?
I’ll tell you right away, we don’t answer all of the questions.)
We answer questions that need answers! ?
What are the questions that don’t need answers? Interesting movie you have in the cinema world!
So why create a question section? To leave them unanswered?

The Administration:
Dear man, if you knew how much shit is going on with us! Today, for example, removed the question: "I watched Avatar in 3D and I had acne on the opera, what to do?"
Do you really think we should answer them?

[ + 119 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74971
 28.12.2012
Dear Father Christmas! I do not ask you for anything special, but let the person who is reading this message now be happy in the New Year! ^ ^ ^

DELTINKA

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №74970
 28.12.2012
Dad today: you go to theaters, but your education is not at all.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №74969
 28.12.2012
Explanation in Gaia:

I, Maximenko P. I claim that I whispered the lightning without warning about the post of the DPS, but creating the New Year's mood.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №74968
 28.12.2012
Julia: How about this? The Beautiful!
No, this is a banana.
by Julia?! to
There are girls, and there are boys, bananas, and even bananas.
What is a bad banana? Coffee cooking, sitting on the window, taking to London
Lorraine: No, that’s what he’ll do, he’ll be waiting for him to be taken to London, sitting on the window and drinking hot chocolate.
by Julia Agah. Dear, do not bother yourself! Now I’ll drink latte and dream of London instead of you!
Lorraine: Here is thanks! I will finally be able to repair the crane, cut the wood and change the oil in the engine.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №74967
 28.12.2012
Laboratory work on SCH:
Q: What is the laboratory installation made up of?
C is from atoms.
P: OO

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №74966
 28.12.2012
Twenty-first: The wife guesses the scanword, the word horizontally does not fit, although she is sure that she picked up the right 100%. He calls me. I am lazy to approach, I say: Well, you check the word on the vertical, maybe there is a mistake!
There is no mistake!! to
What is there?
Shit, will you come or not?? to
I fit. I see: the word of four letters, the famous American actor Mickey... and the beautiful handwriting of his wife is written MAUS!!! to

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №74965
 28.12.2012
By the way, about advertising. And no one is surprised how Sber breeds the Olympic gods, offering to first put all the money under 8% to save, and then gives a New Year's loan for 13.5% And after all, they are happy "Well like children"))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №74964
 28.12.2012
Well Peter, I congratulate you on the first winter rain!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №74963
 28.12.2012
Real advertisement in our newspaper.The phone number is not specified, but unfortunately (literally):
A young man without education, specialty and desire is looking for a job. Are you happy now, Mom?"

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74962
 28.12.2012
How the new hair made, so he did not notice!And as the bumper on the car scratched, so he ran out to meet me in some cowards!! to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №74961
 28.12.2012
Step tension - when you need to walk somewhere, and you are stressed.

[ + 52 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74960
 28.12.2012
I work in a car salon, a couple came to us - a husband and wife. Choose the car. to him. They walk, they look. Finally, he determined with the model, asks his wife:
Do you like it? Do you approve?
And she to him:
- You take the car for yourself, for your money, so buy what you like, I don't understand them at all.
So I decided to joke and say:
But then he will choose your car and also buy what he likes.
She smiles, shakes her hands and says:
“Oh no, you guys, I even manage to collect all the pillars on the road on a bicycle, put me behind the car – I’ll shoot someone in the first week. We agreed with him that he would then buy me a dishwasher (and all this was said without sarcasm).
Here are the respectable women.
Some of you know how to ride, but for the first time I saw one who was able to admit it!!! to
Pussy: Man, if you suddenly read this, know how lucky you are with your wife.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74959
 28.12.2012
The Scriptural Truth:
There is more truth on sites about prostitutes than on sites about decent girls.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №74958
 28.12.2012
Stupidity is not so noticeable under the gold jewelry.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №74957
 28.12.2012
I stand on the light. With me, on the neighboring lane, the red "Ford C-max" is equal. A thirty-year-old blonde was driving. On the hood, next to the courtyards lies a dirty wallet. I start sensitively signaling to attract her attention – zero effect. I open the window:

You have a wallet on the hood.
What is?
A wallet on the hood, I say.
OOO OOO!

He jumped out of the car, his eyes rounded even more. He grabbed him, jumped into the car and said goodbye to me from the window:

Thank you huge! I lost it a week ago, I thought it was stolen!

and leaves...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №74956
 28.12.2012
A nice girl doesn’t rub your nose when you accidentally break out your mother’s word. A really decent girl should ask what this word means.

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74955
 28.12.2012
She works as a medical expert in Morga. The correspondence.

From a recent talk about health:
I have a living example...
I: And I am dead!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna