bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149714
 14.03.2018
A break is when you wipe out the sweat from your forehead, finish the pit, the commander comes, roars with the commander’s voice and starts to break the pit!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149713
 14.03.2018
They have degraded mentally, there is nowhere else to degrade.

You are too skeptical. Humanity always has a place to degrade.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149712
 14.03.2018
In truth, it is better not to get caught up. If it is dried, it is toxic.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149711
 14.03.2018
In 1997 my friend Zhenka's parents bought an apartment. Well, like an apartment, one of Khrushchev’s, that he should take away from them. So here. In the first payment for the public transportation service there was an incomprehensible line: a "radio point", in front of which there was no such amount at that time. Especially since she was a student at the time. It was decided to abandon this radio point, in connection with the fact that Levitan has long since left (the kingdom of heaven), and we do not expect an air alarm. And the radio itself. The wire from it, long rested under four layers of wallpaper. We get into the contact node. Well, of course, we are writing a statement about the refusal of the services of the radio point. The next joke.
You have a debt!
And what?
I have to pay!
And otherwise what?
Otherwise, we will turn you off.
It was a long time, and with that girl...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149710
 14.03.2018
Russia is a country that is always ready for a nuclear war and never ready for a warming season.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149709
 14.03.2018
of the weather;
A: How do you feel?

M: I cough out flocks of birds and whales in the ocean respond with greetings

A: I would send this line to the Splin band and offer to write a song.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149708
 14.03.2018
>> Yes, yes, but not at all. And something I haven’t seen passenger cruise icebreakers, can you tell us more about them?

And you went on cruises to the North Pole... Only if the heart is weak, the prices are better not to watch.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №149707
 14.03.2018
"Active six-year-old swallow" is for a loving mom.
For any foreign adult, it is an intolerable, intolerable child. And for a neurologist - hyperactive, with increased reflexes, excitable, and uncontrollable. Which really will interfere in the classroom with all the "stupid" who don't have a tail in the pop.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149706
 14.03.2018
Recently, a report watched, "gaec" checks the car, gets a bit underneath the seats...
"Gayz": -The-e-e-k!!! Do you like to play baseball??? How many pitchers on the base?
Tagged with: beye-e-e
"gayez": I-a-a-s-no!!! to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149705
 14.03.2018
>> Before the era of the Internet, the sofa troops (clops) were eliminated by carrying sofas for the frost in the winter.

In the room of Uncle Vani.
Where the cabinets and cabinets,
Living in a small sofa.
The evil, red spots.
They were starving,
It was cold,
Dried in powder,
Drying with water,
They were caught with gas.
of Kerosene Masali,
Nothing helped –
Do not lick and do not lick.
Everything that survived the battle,
It only became evil.

Tired of Uncle Van
Between chairs and cabinets
Holding yourself in the sofa.
The evil brown bugs.
Remove them cold.
to starve them,
Stir them with powder.
Drain them with boiling water
And putting them in gas.
Pull them up with kerosene.
He bought and sold the sofa.
The wise man was Ivan.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149704
 13.03.2018
xxx: in my memory burned forever the word "andedovka": so began to be called pepsi in narrow circles after a dozen-two translations "Feel the taste of life with Pepsi!" from Russian to Chinese and back through the industry gave no way out "Shipping water will raise your dead!"

Yyy: In the days of the Fido, any cola, not just pepsi, was referred to as an andendovka because of the similarity of color with a donor blood package. The Chinese translation came much later.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149703
 13.03.2018
With Hicks:
Trabant: I have met somewhere in the literature about the deadly dose of salt, a single 200 grams of the total.
sergku1213: Well it’s quite toxic. For example, in relation to titanium oxide, a case of taking 2.5 kg of titanium oxide is known. Without significant harm to health. It was revealed that the man took the substance by mistake. I have a question – with what did he confuse titanium oxide? All 2.5 kg? Only beer comes to mind, but it is liquid.
A man in the kitchen for the first time. Ispek blades with flour from a strange package. It turned out to taste not like his wife, but did not want to admit his culinary failure and ate. All of. Then the woman found the missing white...

[ + 20 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149702
 13.03.2018
This is what to do, right?

On the one hand, it is good that medicine is at height, cares for the deeply premature, adapts seriously sick.

On the other hand, natural selection is not working, the genome is deteriorating and humanity as a whole is becoming more and more sick and weaker.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149701
 13.03.2018
>> in the school before the high school was convinced that LESRUK ("wood of hands!") - is such a mythical creature, a mixture of the woodlord and the physician, always and at any lesson ready to go out to the board

In fact, the teachers said “Let’s rock!” but we didn’t know English yet.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №149700
 13.03.2018
xxx is. My cat taught the dog to beat with his leg...the dog can’t control his nails like a cat and I, lying on the couch and watching TV peacefully, came to the neck with his nails in the eye, and it hurt.
xxx is. Today in the morning in the shower was almost overwhelmed by terrible sounds - this cat really GAVKAL, only he did it in his own way "MaAAV, MaAAV" loudly and very not like a cat.
xxx is. I am afraid that will happen next.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №149699
 13.03.2018
A convenient thing is a voice set of text. Put one empty bowl next to the microphone, the other with water. You begin to transfer. The diploma is ready.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149698
 13.03.2018
Article on 4pda: "Apple will fix one of the main shortcomings of the latest MacBook"
Commentary by the programmer:
1st deficiencies are
2nd Some disadvantages
Three Among the shortcomings are the main
4 is Some major disadvantages
4pda trolley Apple

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №149697
 13.03.2018
There was a funny situation in the store today. The man bought a robot vacuum cleaner and decided to test it. The vacuum cleaner turned on and left his new owner in the store.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149696
 13.03.2018
In the distant 1977 I finished high school. I am so old. Our school was called a high school. Probably because it introduced professional training, namely driving (after school at the age of 18 you could get the rights) and drawing (the certificate of a drawer-copier was given to the hands). But not this matter. When I got into the army, for some reason I was immediately ordered to issue a stengazette, appointed a political informant, and one lieutenant even asked to write conscripts for him. A month later, I learned from this lieutenant where I got that attention from. It turned out that somewhere in the documents was wrong. And in the field of education, it meant that I had finished high school POLITICAL. No one knew what it was, but I was treated with respect.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №149695
 13.03.2018
xxx: Here they thought that when you make a sign to a customer "WE OPENED!", it would be good to add another piece with two letters with the same font "ON". If the business fails, you use it "N" and notify everyone "We HAVE COVERED!".
yyy: By the way, for the "disadvantaged" areas will be useful when opening: "We have opened up!"

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