When the Federation Council announced that a murder suspect would be arrested now, half of the senators grabbed the heart. The other half did not understand Russian.

It is noted that whoever has nothing to lose, does not find much.

Dubai today. Family hotel, food is unpleasant and very expensive. We decided to ask the locals where to eat something from the Arab cuisine. A rescue man was found near the pool, he was from Cameroon. We explain the situation – want cheap local authentic food, UberEats does not work, if there are options. He answers that there is a small local outlet nearby here, they do not deliver, but very delicious, Arab cuisine. He cannot remember the name. He shuts his eyes for a long time, clicks his fingers to remember, says, “Now, I’ll ask a friend.” He runs to another savior. He runs happily back and cries, “I remembered! “McDonald’s!”

In ancient Egypt, there were no records of military defeats. Therefore, it is possible to understand that Egypt lost the war by the fact that victories were taking place closer and closer to their capital.

The case was the year edak in 1984. It was New Year’s Eve and Dad brought a paek (!) They were handed out to them at work – grapes with women’s fingers, bananas and a box of sweets “Black Slip in Chocolate”. Opening the box, we found thin rows of large, packed each separately in the purple foil of these wonderful sweets. What a delicious candy! With what a pleasant crush the chocolate bark was broken, revealing the delicious meat of black slime! Previously, no one in our family tried such a miracle and candy was a real decoration of the holiday table, in connection with which it quickly ended. And when there was only an empty box left of the candy and it was about to be thrown out, I, either out of curiosity or inadvertently, pulled out of it the golden pad with the nests, on which these same candy rested in their purple wraps. This is the real New Year’s miracle! There were three (three) more of the same candy, carefully wrapped in the same purple foil. Thus e. Each member of the family has a whole candy. And next to it was a small cardboard with the inscription "Packier No. 2", the date and the inscription from the hand "New Year!". How many years have passed, and thanks to the unnamed "Packaging No. 2" remained in the soul apparently forever))

Any woman is available if you know the access code.

My daughter was surprised today. He runs up with my mom’s iPhone and says:
Dad, look at me!
It extends. I look at the screen – I see the App Store open, games like that there, nothing interesting.
Thank you Dad!
He takes an iPhone and runs away. I sit, I think it was.
It turned out that this whole ritual had one very important meaning. It itself can download from the App Store nothing (specially set such a limit to control). She wanted to play in one horror. Of course, we would not allow it. In order to download, you need to know the password or... The Paramount! Identification of the face of the parent (FaceId which). What she did to me.

“Rosa Markovna, what is that Jewish young man living for who rents your room?
He writes and gets well.
What is he writing? The Poetry? The Romans?
No, he writes letters to a wealthy uncle in Canada.

If you think you’ve gotten married well, wait a year. When the warranty ends, it will be seen.

My parents bought me a house in the village. The father began to rework it little by little, removed the old partitions and to prevent them from disappearing, collected a dog bucket from them. I didn’t know about it and was a little surprised to see the dog in the cabin with glued wallpapers.

After the painting "Crimea" was stolen in Russia, it would be worth paying special attention to the protection of Vereshchagin's painting "Kuril Islands".

Customer: On one of our computers it looks darker and on the other lighter, so we tend to the lighter.

There is such a myth that a man can become smarter.

not my own. Just found it on the net.
Today I want to tell you about the new way of divorce by the DPS employees. In this case, you will not have a chance to prove your right, because they have everything caught and prepared in advance. That day I went shopping in the city. Parking at the 5th floor, as usual. After 20 minutes, he left the supermarket, threw his bags into the trunk and went home. Approximately 500 meters later, I see the DPS car and the inspector, as the naked stopped me. He first asked for documents, and after inspection asked to get out of the car. He asked to approach the hood and pointed to the numbers. The numbers were covered with paper.

I was just confused, I didn’t know what to say about the surprise. The inspector read the text of the article that I broke. 12.2 part 2 of the Code of the Russian Federation on the management of vehicles with state registration marks equipped with special means preventing identification. A fine of 5,000 rubles and deprivation of rights from 1 to 3 months. An employee of the DPS threatened with deprivation of rights and a fine of 5,000 rubles, asked to enter the car where his colleague was sitting. He said that the protocol will be drawn up now. Of course I did not admit my guilt, but how can I prove my right? Immediately it is clear that this is an understatement. And I can only help with surveillance cameras, they are probably installed on the parking lot of every store. After all, that’s where I closed my number, it’s 100%. Do you often look at your car from all sides before you take the ride? That is what is calculated. But you understand that in order to obtain the viewing of video cameras, an investigation must be started. And it is not the fact that the camera recording will exist at all.

While one of the inspectors started drafting the protocol, the other asked me to get out of the car, and there decided to offer this option. Let what happened be a lesson for me, and the amount of 1500 rubles will be an adequate penalty, so that I do not stick my number again.

And I didn’t have any sense in clinging, I couldn’t prove that the number was not closed by me personally. So think for yourself who needs to close the registration number of the car, except the owner himself.

Unfortunate situation for the goats. A thousand and a half had to be paid. That’s better than paying $5,000 on a receipt. In principle, you could pay a fine with a discount of 50%, but it would still be a thousand more. Now, when I leave any store, I always check my numbers both in front and behind.

Next week I went to the store again. I turned to the security guard to find out if the cameras were working on the parking lot. It turned out that a month did not work. An amazing coincidence. The security guard does not matter.

This time I didn’t see the goats there, but they’re not stupid to pasture in the same place every day. I think there is a well thought out scheme with different points. The work scheme is simple. A store with a suitable parking is selected, where buyers can park their vehicles so that when they leave they will not see the front of the car. The suspect, most likely for a certain amount, glues a sheet of paper onto the victim’s car, after which, 500 meters from the store, a GIBDD employee stops the car with a glued number and begins to write out a fine. Proving anything is almost impossible. You can not count on the camera at the store, it is either not, or it is strangely not working or turned off. In this regard, everything is clearly thought out. No one will listen to your excuses in court. Who needs to stick the number on the car, except the owner himself, who wants to avoid fines for excess speed recorded by cameras. Naturally, it would be wiser to agree to 1500 than to pay much more on the receipt.

Tell your friends and acquaintances, share this post on social networks. Drivers, be careful, always check the numbers before you get into your car. Per the method is not so popular yet, but from getting into such a situation no one is insured, and tomorrow in my place you can provide.

Vladimir Soloviev, the head of the Kremlin’s anti-Russian anti-Russian group, responded to a new round of anti-Russian sanctions with the purchase of another villa in Italy.

When reading news about attacks on women, at least most people always see a man as the attacker. Have you heard a lot of stories where a woman was the assailant? I never heard of it, but I experienced it on my own skin.

It’s been almost a year, and I’m still afraid of the passers on the street. It was a winter morning, I was quietly going to work (I was doing rehearsals with the children). A woman came out of the road with me. I quietly headed to the house of the girl I was working with, talking on the phone. This woman went after me, well few others in the same direction as me. And here she holds me by the hand. A strange conversation begins between us.

J: With whom are you talking? Just try to say that you saw me, I will kill you hate.

I am a woman, who are you? I do not know you.

Q: Are you stupid? Tell him that you saw me.

“Woman, what did you smoke?”

And I get my fist in the skull. I was so upset that I started crying. She, of course, was not confused and started to hit me in the head, I only had to cover my head with my hands. A grandmother passed by. I started screaming, something like: Ah, you hate such things, the slugs are fighting here! My attacker immediately found what to say: Yes, grandmother, it seems the girl attacked me, her teeth raised me (showing her smile in the form of a fence). And under the screams of the grandmother, she washes in an unknown direction. I scream, my neck hurts, my grandmother hurts on me. At home, the child with whom I was going to work, I was calmed and sent home. For some reason I was so ashamed of myself that I was in this situation. It’s been a year and I’m still afraid of people on the street. Be careful, women are animals too.

I am changing the right to elect the president to the right to get rid of him somehow.

The trainer.
I have a maid. Our good grandmother. She lives almost 100 km away from us in a former military town... That is not a bad and a good story... ;)
But someday she became quite bored and she decided to press our conscience... the saying “you don’t come at all”, “I am bored”, “I am lazy sometimes even to get out of bed” and all that... “I would at least have a dog or a cat”...
Well... we have the most beautiful curbobik (Courillian bobtail), with a stunning brick colour... and she wanted something like that...
We, of course, with some calculation decided that a friendly cat-friend-courbobik would not hinder us and for the New Year gave my grandmother such a cat...
My cat is almost 3 months. All so kind and positive. Grandma is pleased. She read “the whole internet” and stated that “courbobics are dogs and are easily trained.” And before that, she “raised two cats who were taught to walk on their own needs exclusively to the toilet”... And she started training!
The cat after going down to the bowl - was squeezed in the bowl, the bowl was squeezed into the toilet, then the cat was squeezed there and everything was washed off with a light press of the bowl button...
After a while, my grandmother calls me with all her emotions. The cat was trained. Now she, when she goes down to the bowl, jumps onto the toilet bowl and presses the wash button... All... hit not for anything... But the problem is that the toilet is unfortunately not made in Europe and her cat’s weight is not enough to normally press the wash and the valve moves... Now the water in the toilet lies until the grandmother covers it...
I tried to stick the button with false means. It does not help. The cat fanatically breaks everything and presses the button.
The problem is that my grandmother has a water meter to save money. With that savings it is not all right now.
I don’t know how she’ll get her back...
Be careful with the cockroaches, set them the right goals.

A man bought his wife several identical pants of the same color.
They are exactly the same! Why did you buy them? People will think I don’t change underwear!
What kind of people?

True love is when a loved one is not forgotten even during intimate intimacy with another.