Doors, hammer, squat...I was seven years old, my grandfather squeezed a pair of walnuts in his fist and broke them apart. He said he didn’t respect men with the "shit hands". I have hardly eaten nuts since then. The strength in the whole body was only enough to split a couple of nuts a day manually, but to lose the respect of the grandfather was very scary.

From the long-distance drivers forum, about the newly introduced boards:

So go, bring them to court! Have we all studied attorneys?
I’m at the doctor, at all. Maybe they will cure me there.

On the day of release of Fallout 4, pornhub traffic dropped by 10%
The comments:
I know Pornhub. What is Fallout 4?! to
It looks like the left hand c ;)

Man is a by-product of love. Stanislav Jerzy Letz

I'm trying to get through Witcher 3 without fucking anyone. Is it normal at all?

From the forum of carriers, regarding the introduction of road travel fees.

Pay three rubles!
Sorry, something to me!
At least one and a half!
The victory, people! The Trail!

We didn’t have to...
Now I need a little.

There are "men" in the government!

Let’s hit the palms!

What are the fucking days? One "poor people can’t make friends", the other "washed the accelerator to focus on the lighthouse".

The second life of the coffins.
Yesterday, the neighbors curated the whole night, orals and songs sang, a personal visit and a visit of mints did not solve the problem.
I locked them in their own apartment, cut off the shield and finally there was silence, the whole house breathed calmly and only a pleasant panic of drinkers inside the ugly apartment caused pleasant satisfaction.
The coil proved to be the ideal tool for closing the door to the deboss, it is adjusted in height and has rubber pads. I fixed the door pen and fixed it so that it could not be lowered down to open the door and finally fell asleep at 5 a.m.

In the morning, the grandmother of the concierge shared her indignation about the deboshires and told a funny story about how someone calmed the alcoholics. I pretended to be surprised and laughed pleasantly for the company :)

How to make a man crazy?
He has a cheap cell phone in his bedroom. Go through so that you do not find it.
And in the phone for the night there are alarms with a sinister whisper on them (one repeat).
Also for the blowing effect to set a terrible whistle on the call and deadly screaming on the SMS. Have fun at night, choosing effects as desired.

Do I have any talent?
You have talent – you have it!

A humble person is someone who wants to get on the Forbes list and get lost there.

A parent’s family of 12 years was renting apartments, relatives’ apartments – in a word, not before it was to have an animal at home. And that’s when we finally entered the new trunk! My mom first brought home a crazy cabbage, a black pudel. He was graceful, trained in teams, emotional, but, most importantly, was noble and kind. Therefore, when a month later the mother brought home a frozen kitten, the dog smelled the new one and graciously accepted it in the herd.
The dog was very patient with the kitten: he allowed him to play with the brush of his tail, to work out the cat's techniques of attack from the assembly, to take the best pieces from the bowl. Maybe that’s why when the cat grew up they were very friendly.
The pudel had a bad habit when it was left at home for a long time and did not walk out, not just to make a loaf in the hallway, but to pour the wall of the kitchen setup. He was punished for, no matter.
When the cat grew up, he begged out on the street. He left, but always returned. At first, the cat came home with scratches on his mouth and ears. Then somehow the wounds stopped.
It turns out, the red trick before going to the street all rounded around the described wall of the kitchen setup, until it began to crush a dog. In this form, all the surrounding cats were sparkling from him, and his precious red-white skin returned home whole and unharmed =)))

The government is preparing a law that citizens who have lived until the retirement age can no longer be considered patriots.

From FB:
xxx: Something I don’t remember that Buddhists exploded anyone.
YYY: Do not tell me. I exploded a lot of Buddhists.

If you — fucking know who is sick — fucking know what, then it is Alzheimer’s.

And yesterday these cats, these, let me say, pets continued in the interior of the apartment my Shiseido eye cream... They, in general, went to row the calyan, but the Japanese superhero Shiseido kicked his chest on the ambrasures, saving an Arab friend. International in action! And the cats are cosmopolitan frogs: two Americans, one is the hot daughter of the mountains, another is the hopota of Luberc. So I cut off the Japanese. I searched the apartment for two days, but did not find it. They ate it together with the bank.

by someoneblack

here here :
Is it about the 90s? When all kinds of engineers from the NII with the "best Soviet education" and after 70 years of scientific materialism suddenly rushed to charge the banks in front of the telephone with Chumak? by LOL.

If you have received a higher education, it does not mean that you have received it. Among my acquaintances there are many interpretative engineers of the old hardening and many witnesses of Alan Chumak and Kashpirovsky. But many of these do not cross the word at all. But this is only my case, I probably lived in another USSR.

Whatever I say, you must be overwhelmed.
Don’t overdo me, I have enough of you.

All people are divided into two types, those who love karaoke and those who hate those who love karaoke.

There is, of course, a lot about these notorious Charlie, but someday it was thought that it was their necklace today that was thrown into the corner: they will try to laugh at the terracts - shia, nothing holy at all, decide to keep silent - even larger shia, racists and hanji, only sympathize with their own.