bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №135561
 03.11.2016
Take some chips.

Tagged with chips. It is time to think about health.

xxx you are right. Take the vodka.

YYY: Ok

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №135560
 03.11.2016
You are writing something strange.

The problem with the button is not only to decide to kill or pardon a stranger, but also in the fact that after you make your choice, the button will be given to another person with whom you are also unfamiliar, and the next will decide your fate.

What is problem?
Can you die from an unknown cause at any time?
How is it different from ordinary life?

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №135559
 03.11.2016
If some vegan begins to brainwash you, just explain to him that the cells of the plant when it breaks down do not die immediately, first they suffer for a long time from oxygen, water and ordinary starvation, and then those who survived it and were not cut and crushed with a knife and teeth, live into the stomach juice and agonize there, slowly dissolving in acid and enzymes.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №135558
 03.11.2016
I relatively easily find girls "by criteria", from them I sow all kinds of stupid and immoral, leaving only nurses and smart women.

Of them I sow those who do not need me, so that time is not wasted.

And then I sow myself so as not to ruin the poor girl’s life.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №135557
 03.11.2016
My grandmother is Russian, but she has long lived in Georgia. When the troubles began with the breakup of the Union, she could not get out of there and decided to stay a century in this country, where she has a decent private home and her own farm. In the 1990s, the only way to communicate with her were letters. One such letter from my grandmother was remembered. Literally :

“Mom, there is a total deficit here, I work like a horse, but I can’t buy anything for the kids, the shelves are empty. is tired. I will send the money later. Please come if you can, grenades.”



Then the father thought and wrote "fruit" in the clusters.



For any case.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №135556
 03.11.2016
I had no electricity at home for two hours.
I thought everything, the end, the Stone Age, goodbye to civilization.
XXX: I had to sit on a tablet on the Internet

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №135555
 03.11.2016
I went out for a walk with a nice guy from the internet. We walked in the park, it was very fun and enjoyable. After all, I liked him. I wanted to eat, but I didn’t want to interrupt the walk, and I didn’t want to get tired in the cafe, so I offered to go to the burger king, because I want to buy myself something to eat. I went in, I approached the terminal, he went to the box office. When I was almost done with the choice, he approached and added a couple of hamburgers to MY order. I was surprised, maybe he would pay with his card, but no, he looked at me.

It seems to be all, right?

Yes, I suppose I agreed.

He waited a few seconds, but seemed to have done nothing. Well, we liked each other, and the amount is not that big. Somewhere I will pay for him, somewhere he will pay for me. They paid and ate.



On the second date, he wanted an ice cream. We approached him, he chose, he gave him ice cream, he left. Do I have to pay the type? Maybe Naomi doesn’t have it. I bought it and paid for both. I decided to talk about it next time. I am embarrassed what to do.



The next date should have had a continuation. We met to sit in a cafe. He invited because the weather was not good for him. I didn’t mind walking in the rain. The place where we came was... Well, not the cheapest, but not like Pushkin. Usually the account for two I got there was about 2, 5-3k. The young man went to the toilet, and I called the waitress and asked to count us apart. I am what I order, he is what he ordered. He came back and we made orders. I ordered a salad, cake and tea, but the young man ordered a steak, seafood salad and some expensive non-alcoholic cocktail. I wasn’t worried about it, because I warned the waiter, so I just the evening and thought that if he would behave well today, I’t mind becoming his girlfriend. The ordered knight was not enough, he asked for some more pasta with seafood, I asked after that to bring the bill, because after an hour the transport stopped. The young man ate, brought the bill, he looked at me. Apparently, he did not plan to pay at all. But he did not notice that the number was two, because they were lying on each other. I called the waitress, paid with a card, thanked and gave the cupcake right into his hands. “What will you pay with a card?” - asked the waitress of my gorge-satellite, whose eyes were five rubles, when I was moving away from the cafe.

After that he wrote to me and asked why I left him alone in the cafe, tried to call, even once waited at home, only at the entrance opposite (the house with the letter P). A week later, he wrote that he didn’t need a girl who thought only about money. I don’t know what’s going on with him now, but I hope he doesn’t do that anymore.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №135554
 03.11.2016
by Habr
We urgently need a regulatory law to regulate regulators, or they are already uncontrollably regulating everything in a row.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №135553
 03.11.2016
I am not a hunt in my life. I don’t care what a person believes, with whom he sleeps and what he eats. I think it’s everyone’s business, and the main thing is not to impose my own interests on me. But not everyone thinks so.
A vegetarian girl came to work. I don’t care what she eats. A lot of food is sold in the stores for her, in our working dining room too, it is possible to have a vegetarian lunch - her rights are never infringed. I never asked her why she didn’t eat meat, why she didn’t prove its usefulness, why she didn’t give up meat. In short, I did not touch this topic at all. But every time we come to the dining room and find ourselves at the same table, every time she begins to call me a body-eater, calls to my conscience - how I don't feel sorry for the beasts, ticks me in the face with the phone with articles about the harm of meat, seeing in me a coat with fur or leather shoes begins to show pictures of encouraged animals and prove that the skin is removed from them alive and so on. I correctly kept silent for the first two weeks, then told her to look into her plate, and not into mine, and finally dropped away from me! She’s offended and now tells the whole office that I’m a terrible bullshit and hamlo, and that’s because I’m a meat-eater, but they’re all, vegetarians and vegans are the best people.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №135552
 03.11.2016
But I know clubs where there are special programs for women taking into account the stages of the cycle, with women engaging in general separately from men - in another room and with other trainers.

My friends had a club. Women must engage in a separate room, enter through a separate entrance, be in a canvas, with long sleeves and a gate under the throat, clothes of free cover. During the red days it is forbidden to appear in the hall.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №135551
 03.11.2016
Galatea23: I came here to 4 lessons in learning Korean. I make the simplest proposals. Yesterday I extended the book to Andrew: "Igous Czech Imida". He replied, “I think you have the code.”"

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №135550
 03.11.2016
Everyone’s life begins and ends the same way. Only the package is different.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135549
 03.11.2016
I went to my relatives in Germany - my wife's sister married to a German (indigenous, present).
When I arrived, I had a stomach disorder. The pills offered by the hosts gave a zero result. Therefore, I had to resort to a folk remedy - vodka with salt. After a while I was frozen (the air conditioner in the car was to blame). Again, "popular medicine" is vodka with pepper. After a while, the knee began to sink, operated a few years ago. The sister’s husband comes, holds a bottle of vodka in his hands and asks, “What will we add this time?”

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №135548
 03.11.2016
Kadyrov is unhappy that the Ministry of Finance is going to cut the budget of Chechnya. He said that the money of Chechnya was given by God. I don’t understand... what are the claims to Minfin?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №135547
 03.11.2016
I found a bag in a softin, tried to send a bag to a bagtracker. When adding a bag, it gives an error. The company has a group of VCs, decided to write there. There was such a dialogue.

I: Hi, you can't get a bug here in the bagtracker, it gives a mistake.
TT: Thank you for taking note. If the bagtracker works, write to us.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №135546
 03.11.2016
Neradence: No, I just had a psychotherapy session from Victor today.
Opium is successful?
Neradence: Not that word. He listened to me and then said, "I never understood how you complain about the fact that men don't give you a passage, and that you're ugly and stupid at the same time."
And all that. I could not go further.
Opium: A psychologist from God.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №135545
 03.11.2016
News on Yandex: Curiosity found on Mars a metal meteorite of unusual shape
>> is this the case? Brother, are you that? and :)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №135544
 03.11.2016
Job walked out of the rubble of the house, looked around the burned fields, the swollen corpse of sheep, the trees eaten by worms, thoughtfully nodded his eyebrows, and then raised his eyes to heaven and asked:
Do you have any problems? Do you want to talk about it?

Bormor ©

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №135543
 03.11.2016
It reminds me of the 90s, we had 30 branches, so here I sit in one of them, a brother in a backpack runs in and says: Now you are working with me. I’m your roof....I say: leave the phone, you’ll be called....NEa- says- Last time left 3 years gave))))

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №135542
 03.11.2016
xxx: but how is it concise to call a person with a very high level of intelligence, but extremely ugly character?
yyy: I recently saw on some stand a very suitable name for this description of Mudrak...

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