bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120593
 15.11.2015
Charlie, I’m so curious, are the cartoons going to be?

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120592
 14.11.2015
The morning. By habit, without waking up, I bring my wife coffee to bed. Here it comes to me that yesterday's light rhinitis seemed to have turned into a condom of ARI.
I am ohhhh!
Wife: What about you?
I was cold.
Help me to sit down, pull up the blanket.
I will take care of you now.
Drinking Coffee
My wife: Yes. Bring a thermometer, notebook and pen. Now we measure the temperature and I will write what you will buy at the pharmacy...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №120591
 14.11.2015
My wife and I use the computer at home. My wife usually does this while I’m at work. So I’m not surprised when the director offers me to buy children’s books, curtains or a vibrator. But the other day they fought - I left for the weekend to the country alone, I sit in the net, and here in the directory pops up the advertisement... guns. I don’t even know whether to go back to the city, or to sit down for a week or two, until everything goes well there.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №120590
 14.11.2015
Tag: in the crap
"Reflections of eyes" Yes, that is he.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №120589
 14.11.2015
xxx: I remove a small adjacent to the house, the adjacent iron roof. The climate is southern and it rains every night. This is actually usually a slight frost, but the sound of the iron is such that every night I feel like Noah in the ark and pretend to have taken all creatures with me in a pair.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №120588
 14.11.2015
My mother-in-law cat loves running water. Once he had to drink from a syringe (he was sick and too weak, afraid that he suffered from dehydration), and since then he has become addicted. Every night he goes to the hostess, eats and demands a syringe, the addict is cursed.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №120587
 14.11.2015
This morning, I was late and drank a cup of coffee and a large Redbull bowl.

And when he ran on the highway to work, he remembered that he had forgotten his car in the garage.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №120586
 14.11.2015
Reducing the retirement age for a third child is a good idea.
Children give you grandchildren, and you are still young, and along with your grandchildren in the spring you let the boats and come home with wet legs and ice bars.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №120585
 14.11.2015
He is my fish.
She: I have always been a cat. The decline in the food chain.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №120584
 14.11.2015
Husband from a large family. He is the youngest, with the older brother 20 years difference. His best friend is a child of a school romance, he and his father have a 17-year-old difference. I am the “typical” second child in the average family, my parents were about thirty.

In general, recently in the conversation the phrase "generation of our parents" broke out, and all depended. But it became clear where generalizations on the internet came from and why they are so strange.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120583
 14.11.2015
The exact fact that man (and all living things) appeared artificially does not prove anything.
Humans could have been created by aliens. Including a multi-dimensional dimension.
Man could have been created by an entity whose goals are far from the same as those postulated by the church.

Man could be created in a pocket universe and forgotten, thrown out for unnecessarily, as a failed experiment.
After all, humanity and the universe could have been created as a computer game. The creator does not necessarily design the universe. He could just start it.

In my opinion, the greatest achievement of mankind over the last 100 years is the mass transition from worship of the unknown to the willingness to study and use it.

God is a hypothetical, powerful alien, with unknown goals and no morals about killing people.
He wanted to make a flood. I wanted to burn hummingbirds. Not God, but Milosevic.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №120582
 14.11.2015
peter_udkm: we were not released to friends in the DDR in 1989 under the pretext that "they came to you less than a year ago"
They were offended and broke the wall.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120581
 14.11.2015
The Tyumen Forum. The director of the department of culture, which has become famous throughout the country for the removal of paintings from the museum fund, was appointed the rector of the college of arts.
Question: Are all the paintings in place in college?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №120580
 14.11.2015
Kinosmit: Guys, how do you feel about incest?
Conditer7: Incest is a family affair.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №120579
 14.11.2015
Microsoft has developed a service to recognize human emotions
YYY: I imagined a situation: I am inhibited by the Gopars, and I have their phone in the face and see if they are aggressive enough to push off this phone from me...
XXX: And they look at how bold you are.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №120578
 14.11.2015
They say that to change the world, you have to start with yourself. Right, you need to start with yourself: for example, to force yourself to write a complaint.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №120577
 14.11.2015
We talked about the color of the wedding:
Let’s be a deep blue indigo.
I: Which of the three?
She: O_O

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №120576
 14.11.2015
I used to really like to carry big bags, everything was in them, but now I prefer small ones to maximum wallet and phone. And all because my husband and friends adjusted to steam me a litre bottle of whisker when they went to the cinema, women are not checked. They bought their own glasses, spilled and drank the whole film without rush. And I had to carry them back home afterwards.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №120575
 14.11.2015
"Russian employers are obliged to pay the debts of employees on taxes"
Is there a quarter pay on this list?

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120574
 14.11.2015
Is it about the 90s? When all kinds of engineers from the NII with the "best Soviet education" and after 70 years of scientific materialism suddenly rushed to charge the banks in front of the telephone with Chumak? by LOL.

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