bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №120553
 13.11.2015
Aaa: It is impossible to simply prove the existence of God, as it is impossible to prove his absence. No one has yet managed to obtain the simplest single-celled organism from non-living matter. If they get it, it will be iron proof of his absence.

Bbb: In other words, if scientists could use their minds to obtain a living organism from non-living matter, would that be iron proof that reason is not necessary for life to arise, and that everything worked out on its own? Funny...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №120552
 13.11.2015
xxx: gave her such a 5 on 5 cm clutch, which unfolds in a full-fledged backpack of liters for 30, she is fascinated by my trips. Take it with you as a reserve.
WOW: so that she can carry a backpack while wearing a backpack?
WOW: (a picture with a rotting icebite)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №120551
 13.11.2015
Chat in battle:
Why does the female crew speak in male voices?
Tagged: transs
FFF: The Trans
ZZZ: The Trans

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №120550
 13.11.2015
Suddenly I started watching Doctor Who.
Judging by the way Tardis is managed, she is a well-advanced ashes. The sounds are the same.
...
Exactly ashes. And the Doctor, apparently, is a Chatlanin. For a pup is too naive, for an ishelop too moral and without eyebrows.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №120549
 13.11.2015
XXX: Let’s go, there are animatronic figures!
YYY: I do not want
XXX: What is it?
I do not like animatronics.
XXX Why?
YYY: Yes, the hernia is somewhat stupid.
XXX is stupid? Faith, half of these things are smarter than you!
YYY: You are there too.
That’s why I don’t like animatronics.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №120548
 13.11.2015
Chronicles of correspondence. Revelations of the First Class.
Oh, the Latin, haha You know what’s hidden underneath.
The Terrible Words of Sakkus Tsekkus
Retrosteroid homeostasis? :D
It’s not a demon from hell, no, it’s a little bit of fascia on the neck, and that’s all.
Or "venther frontalis muscle occipitofrontalis".
This is the very frontal belly that everyone calls
Lobby and Rhodes. A small piece of meat, a cat.
Not an epic name, but an epic name. The Latin –
The epic language. In Latin, even the story of Vasya
Myishkin bought bread and fed the little ones.
the pigeon, will sound awful and solemn, a bonus
You can call a demon-dove that disconnects the community.
My head thought it was a cake.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №120547
 13.11.2015
Mayonnaise is generally called a beaded product.
ууу: For such words you in Yekate a grandmother of the most cultural kind, in the store the kadik breaks! )))
Zzz: Yes, my colleague in Moscow did not eat mayonnaise. After a month here, he was persuaded to try it, so he flew away with a few plastic cushions in his luggage and two liters of stone quas in his hand luggage. So he was not allowed to take quas in the salon and he stood there and drank. He says - "I hope your toilets are not opened like in the trains, but immediately.." )))))

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №120546
 13.11.2015
Internal chat in the IT company:
I will buy my home and repair it. In 2 years, I will learn every talk and become a car slicer, in my garage, I will make a hundred and hit the websites.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №120545
 13.11.2015
The cocktail pensioner
- In a glass with a decoction of calendula drop 20 drops of corvalol, 20 drops of valoserdine, top pour rubbed anapriline and validol. Sending with a tube under the TV program "News"

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №120544
 13.11.2015
zod4iy: And now imagine, judging by recent events (the doping scandal in Russia), that all these years, our football team played with doping :)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №120543
 13.11.2015
He spoke to an American, and at one point during the conversation he mentioned the “American flag.” I did not resist and asked him, but what flag is this? The question naturally brought him into a stupor (how is it, don't all people know that there is such a wonderful country - America?). When he explained that he called his country America, I reached him by saying that such a country does not exist... Then I reminded him that America is a part of the world that includes two continents – North and South America, and his country is called the United States of that same America.
In the United States, one Russofob is more.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120542
 13.11.2015
Tomorrow is the administrative game. Divided into groups. Everyone should create their own company. Well, somebody OOO, somebody GUP, somebody OOO. As a result, tomorrow in the game participates LLC "Alcoy", which is engaged in the sale of alcoholic products and GUP, engaged in the creation of rocket engines called... "Hope";

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №120541
 13.11.2015
xxx is a guy?
Have you ever cried your mother?
yyy: In a technical or incestual way?)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №120540
 13.11.2015
My acquaintance is watching a lot of movies on the net, and at the same time is not disgusted by the most outspoken camouflage of new films.

When I told her I was looking forward to a movie on the net in good quality, she replied:

"Sanya, you have shaken, this is a new movie. Let’s look at 007.?" and at the same time simultaneously shoots a film on the note from the pause. Titles begin, according to which it is already clear that the quality will be atas and degrees by 30 reversed.

Immediately she joyfully jumps and says, "He, look, the guy with the camera has not even been late to the beginning of the film!"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №120539
 13.11.2015
The world-building subtly hinted to me that my hands were from my ass.
He fell on the ice on the above point yesterday. Now my shoulders hurt.
HH: What else should I have thought? O.O

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №120538
 13.11.2015
You can’t do it yourself – teach others!"
Well, a well known phrase. The truth of life, what is the problem?
I said this to a guy who was reading training today.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120537
 13.11.2015
We have a new MMA in the team.
XXX: Architectural deprivations

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №120536
 13.11.2015
A boy who, in fact, is the same defacka:
Baby, jurt - a house made of a cluster, selective, widely distributed in Russia and Mongolia. But not in the north, they live in the plague. Ygl, yes, just so, through Y, there is no word at all in Russia.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №120535
 13.11.2015
Instead of hanging a stone on your neck, sometimes it is enough to throw down the one who sits on it.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №120534
 13.11.2015
One Soviet professor was sent to France and paid thirty thousand francs in a month.
His wife and daughter made a list of what to buy. The women had a catalogue from the wholesale, kissed to dark spots. According to the list, the professor could eat at home.

On the way to the supermarket, the scientist saw a fishing store. I looked at her with one eye.
The eyes expanded and darkened.
The traveller brought home a set of wheels, flashes, a set of coils and all that.
During the interrogation, he added something about hypnosis. He remembers the word "bonzure", then the light went out and everything was gone - conscience, morality, money.

The wife and daughter asked ten times, they couldn’t believe. They raised this professor, fed him, inspired him for his inventions, missed him like a fool. And now he doesn’t let his head push him where he deserves.
In just five minutes, the professor got rid of nostalgia. That same evening he moved to live at the institute. In the name of science and health.
The egoist.
And everything that was not told and not caused to him, inherited to his son-in-law Serge, who lived in the same apartment carelessly.

That same evening Serjozh's son-in-law learned that fishing was a defect, not washed away with anything. Even though he did not fish himself, he regretted bitterly.
Serjoja three times increased the aid to the farm, smoothed the guilt. But everything went badly for him.
He cleaned the potatoes like a villain, carried the rubbish like a villain.

Days and weeks went by, and no one was going to forgive him. Serena didn’t want to pay attention. But women themselves are so able not to pay attention that they do not want to live.
He was embarrassed to steal and kill, and there was no other way to get back the boots, coats, and coatings that the professor had smashed.

Sergei then sold his “Moskvich”. In exchange, I bought two clothes.
Shuba is the best antidepressant, he thought.
But only surgery could help her. Women did not want to be mocked Siberian girls, but wanted to be smooth Parisian women.
When the shoes did not like it, the light was extinguished.
Without any bondage.
He used his tail to make a stock of wood for the winter, worshiped and left.

What happened to the family and the fugitive professor, no one knows.

Now he has a new wife, a young ceramic artist. Her graduate work weighs 800 kilograms. Five hundred colored plates symbolize the birth of the sun. From brown, through blue to red and yellow.
Serjoja carried his diploma to the fourth floor without an elevator, in front of the eyes of a commission of artists. He translated the plates in different ways, spit at the risk of radiculitis.
All with a happy face.

First, I am now a philosopher, he explains. Secondly, the Light calls me a cat.
The light comes out, and he says:
Cat, when are you going to take off the shell? (It was in the case.
The cat immediately puts the shale and goes to take off the shale.
You can see a man from the professor’s family.

It’s the I to the fact that when you’re ranting trying to improve someone, most likely, you’re improving that someone no longer for yourself.

Glory to S.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna