bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №145814
 23.10.2017
XXX: What is your mother? Without a passport refused to sell energy in the store
TTT: Yes, for a couple of years there was a change that cannot be imperfect. I do not know the details.
I once didn't want to sell Mount Deu without a passport :D
hhh: " imperfect"
by Hail Hydra!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №145813
 23.10.2017
I go out of the strike ball in an electric car, I get ripped out of my hands iPhone 3GS (the case was in 2013). With a bunch of pieces and in bars, you can't catch the thief. I come home troubled, my wife from the threshold:

What are you, Ohrid?

...?

I ask you when you’re coming and you write me “I’m gone!”

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145812
 23.10.2017
Canada, Australia and New Zealand, as well as a couple of dozens of territories are smaller. However, they were all part of the British Empire. Did you teach history at school?

I passed by here, but Canada, the Netherlands and others still recognize the Queen of Great Britain as the head of their states. Go to "Kingdom of the Commonwealth"

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №145811
 23.10.2017
When I was studying at school, I looked like a puffy puffy botanic, so should I say that the attention of classmates I was not worthy at all. Well, if I was just ignored, and often just trolled. “Let me write off” is the only situation where girls smile.



And then one day, when I was on the shift, I once again grumbled down the corridor, a cute girl from a parallel class passed by me. We didn’t know each other, but in eighth grade the whole school knew each other in the face. She walked without taking her eyes away from me, and was barely noticeably smiling, which gave her mystery and romance. At first, I didn’t understand anything, thinking that maybe I’ve got a fist, or a pimple on my nose jumped, or something else that you can stumble over.



Suddenly, at the next change, the situation repeated. I even went to the sorting room to look in the mirror, but I saw nothing unusual, except my boring face. “Strange,” I thought, “another change, again a gloomy look that accompanies me. “Your mother, and I look good,” I thought, and I also looked at her carefully and romantically. All day after school, I remembered what happened. I thought that maybe I was already unnoticedly grown up and stunned, or that maybe not for everyone I look like a botanist, or maybe she likes people like me. Per she has seen my romantic nature, subtle mental organization and other invisible simple mortal things that are so many in me that I just have nowhere to go.



I have to do something, I have to act. All the options I’ve come up with were so good that each ended in a turbulent relationship, walking the pen, kissing under the moon, and of course sex. But as a result, I chose one in which I just kept looking at her dark and in love until she approached me by herself and acknowledged her feelings. He loves it, let him prove it. The first one I approached was not Comilfo. Since I'm such a macho that girls fall in love with taboo - let it go!



The next day, right from the morning, I met her again at school. And I saw again how she looked at me dark and in love, slightly smiling at the corners of her lips. Following my plan yesterday, I began to look at her as closely and romantically as possible, while releasing all my pheromones into the surrounding atmosphere. Well, to provoke overflow of feelings with subsequent recognition in them. So, looking in the eyes, we passed by each other, and I started waiting for the next change to repeat it.



On the next shift, I specifically started crawling through the school corridors in search of her. Here is she! Going to meet me. I prepared my eyes. Well to watch. Pheromones, and that’s all. And here she comes closer, I give myself an internal command to “See” and... nothing. She passed by, just staring at me for a short while, completely uninterested. by VOCEFAK? ? to ? to What happened? Maybe not seen? Looking forward to the next change, here it is! Eyes, pheromones, iii... – nothing. passed by again. What is that, right? Are feromons not fresh?



I repeated the experiment several times over the course of the day. Sometimes he even ran down the stairs from the other side to meet her twice for one shift. and nothing. and no. by Che. Go to go. Has love passed? Can we do so? Well, be a human being, come and explain why we can’t be together anymore. Sorry at the end! But she did not come. She didn’t even look at me anymore. I ceased to exist for her.



When I got home, I was lying on my bed all day, looking up the ceiling. I wonder what women are cruel.



I learned the story the next day. The classmate told him that he wants to mess with one girl from a parallel class, and familiar girls have even expressed his sympathy to her. And since the surnames of our classmates differed only in the end (well, Petrov and Petrovko), I immediately realized that at some point the connection failed. And all the romance was not meant for me. Just the girl, her mother, thought it was me! And I am him! It is in principle (! ) There was a man to build his eyes.



They started dating ( not long), and I was all thinking about how hard it was to survive female betrayal.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145810
 23.10.2017
I was looking for a job in 2012. After reading motivating websites on this topic, I came to interview. In the column "Wage" I indicated 1 000 000 r. I couldn’t imagine how it would go next! When the resume was read by a girl from the administration, she asked if I was serious about it. I applauded approvingly. She stood away for a moment and then said to move on.

At that moment, I thought, like “Nihua to myself!” “”

He also asked if I was serious.

With the face of a man who is accustomed to getting what he wants, I convincingly left, giving him the understanding that he has no possibility to refuse me.

Zam laughed before answering, and looked a bit abandoned. He shrugged his face and said,

“Do not come anymore.”

I silently turned and left.

Do not read motivational texts.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №145809
 23.10.2017
A free country is not a country that makes it easy to get rid of, but a country that makes it possible to stay in it.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №145808
 23.10.2017
is listened.
"Oh girls, the cat is sick, does not eat, has lost weight, the veterinarian said what he wanted, but to feed, or will die. I eat fish, meat and other foods. I sit with the cat and the dishes, revu. In the evening, a husband came from work, listened, called a fool and poured a valerian cat. He came down and let me eat. Well, why is it, because it is my cat, it is I understand and love him?"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145807
 23.10.2017
Citizens will bear the costs of medical care, and the authorities will bear the revenue from the sale of oil. Share it, this is great!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №145806
 23.10.2017
The Career

Yes, they’re gone, and you didn’t know? Wait for 20 years.
And people behind them, too. Therefore, there is such a sign - "Care for hair". After and after.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №145805
 23.10.2017
I have a close acquaintance. The size of a man. As a lieutenant, he was sent to practice. He went for a couple or three days, and left his beloved young wife at home. Take the training and cancel it.
He came home late at night, and there was a wife with a lover. He didn’t bother, went to the kitchen and put a teaspoon. and began to wait. He was the first to go into the kitchen, I don’t remember.
But his wife is now another)))
– Is it spotted?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №145804
 23.10.2017
News: GIBDD cameras will record the departure from the stop line.

Comment: We would apply immediately instead of pricing.
Instead of the stop line – 800...800...800...800...
It is 1500...1500...1500...
Double continuous - deprivation... exemption... exemption

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №145803
 23.10.2017
Posts Tagged ‘Hair Care’
– is 
Service services – service services?
– is 
What do you think of “learning English”?
I wonder what and how to teach English. I can imagine the training of students, pensioners, children in English, but the learning of English is a scratch in the back of the head.

Or the advertising shield of micro-loans: “loan to salary.”
How much do they want to borrow from me?

At the toilet station:

Dear passengers!
Entrance to the toilet of the main building is paid.
The cost of 15 rubles

Cossack on Cossack!
First, just “Toilet 15 rubles”, apparently, is not enough pathos.
Secondly, the cost of payment purely formally is the cost of payment, not the use of the toilet. That is, the commission from the payment for the toilet.
Third, railway passengers have the right to use the toilets at the station absolutely free of charge!
Paphos and lawlessness.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №145802
 23.10.2017
12:06:14 [ZoomY] spinnker> I have probably not spoken this phrase so frankly, from the heart, really, from the depths of my soul, for five or six years.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №145801
 23.10.2017
Have you ever seen the map of the world at least once in your life? India and the UK not only do not have common borders, they are also in different parts of the world.
............
Like the United States, Canada, Australia and New Zealand, as well as a couple of dozens of territories smaller. However, they were all part of the British Empire. Did you teach history at school?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №145800
 23.10.2017
In the apartment, in which besides you and your spouse, live 3 children aged from 14 years to 4 months, it is really a problem to have sex. Because one of the children at any time is at home, and when they are all sleeping, their eyes are already clamped, just because of their age.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №145799
 23.10.2017
gt, "In Darknet you can buy software for unlimited withdrawal of cash from ATMs"

xxx: I offer a ransom: to rob a ATM with the help of a program purchased on a loan issued in this bank.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №145798
 23.10.2017
Keyten: Well
Keyten: Your girlfriend is potentially someone you need to love, care for and live with for a lifetime.
Almost like a dog.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №145797
 22.10.2017
Here is the first snow (Photo)
Why so small?
He just appeared a little before the deadline.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №145796
 22.10.2017
XXX is:
OMZ bought a simka with a direct city.
Previously, this number belonged to the T-Dam. Girls on the challenge.

During the day, everything is awkward, but at night you have to turn off, customers call on the old memory.

Although, Imho, could have agreed with somebody and put a redirect for the night.

YYY :
Buy a beginner prostitute.
Advertising is worth money.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №145795
 22.10.2017
xxx: But with the games is not the same situation as with the movies, conditionally some Titanic of 1997 looks and now great, but here HL1 1998 or even the first Silenh Hill of 1999 now look gently so to themselves.
YYY: I do not have to! Compare DiCaprio in Jango and Titanic! In Titanic, he has a maximum of two or three polygons on the whole face, no wrinkles to see, all some smooth, like a plastic doll.

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