From a discussion of the post on dirty about Leo Schlosberg’s speech on the anti-orphan law:

All my relatives and some of my acquaintances voted for the Apple. Yes, the ballots have shattered our country. But we can safely say that we are behind these fucking monkeys. They did not vote in the word.
Dmitry_N: In this case, “fuck” should be written with one “n”. This is a completely different matter!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no In our village they used either the "fucking" with emphasis on the second slang, as an adjective, or the "fucking" as a suffering communion.
Dmitry N: Fuck on the roof. There is no need for a double “N.” Learn the language. There are no quotes or dependent words. All of it?
GeRom: I fuck, what an intelligent conversation you have here, gentlemen!
Den2121: Monocle, cylinder, dictionary of Russian mat..

From the forum with reviews about gas columns:

Everything is regulated simply, if not the wife would not turn these pins, but normal people in such water as it is washed, sausages are cooked or peelings, however, according to my personal observations, the female sex loves hotter.

From a group about the Galaxy Note in VK:
I have file. I dropped an enema into the toilet, and you know what? He was stuck without getting to the water. Oh my God, you are so great.

There was a medical commission and near the doc which records all the initials there was such a dialogue between the doctor (B) and the guy (P):
A: Please name your initials.
Q: What is Cho?
A: Please name your initials.
Q: What is it?
The first three letters
Q: Yes ABV
Everyone is already starting to crack (along with the doctor)
The first letters of your name.
A: Oh yeah, I would say so.

I am so angry that I entered my email address in the address line.
yyy: look at the evil flash not safely pull out

Bones: In the summer, we have kara-orks in all the cafés of the central park!

The family meeting grandmother teaches us how to live with children, and in the end says: and you are enough for one child, I tell your mother all the time, that in vain did not listen to me and gave birth to the second! I just fell off the chair, I love my grandmother :)

Series "Doctor Who" 3 Sechons 11 series from 10 to 11 minutes
100 trillion years, and the protection "kalashis"! This is a weapon for all time :)

In a dispute, the wise man will always let the fool speak fully.

History of Efremov’s “Modernist”.

Alla Pokrovskaya said that Efremov so infected his actors with the love of the Stanislavsky system that any talk ended in discussions on this topic.

Once on a tour in Romania, the artists gathered after a performance in one of the hotel rooms. We are talking about the Stanislavsky system.

Kalachin and Gaft argued about the System, and Evgeny Evstigniev, who marked the end of the working day, fell to bed and fell asleep.

Eventually, Gaft and Kalagin argued before they decided to find out who would be better at the "Evaluation of the Fact".

The fable was invented as follows: in the cabin of the public toilet a man is waiting for his turn. He waits so long that he can’t stand, breaks the door and finds him hanged there.

They did not let go, built a hanging man from a pillow and placed him in a wall closet.

One played a terrible horror and rushed with a cry for help, the other, presenting possible troubles, quietly slammed until nobody saw... Both played great.

The judges are in trouble. Then they decide to wake Evstignev up and see what he will come up with.

They scattered, persuaded, explained the situation... Evstigniev went to the closet.
Within a second, the whole room, seeing how he sits, jumps in front of the door of the wall cabinet, compressing his knees, first gently knocks on the door of the "toilet", then just drums.

Finally, brought to complete despair, he breaks the door on himself, sees the "hanging," without a second of doubt, catches him, knocks off with the rope, throws out and, jumping into the toilet, with a wild shout of happiness does his simple deed, even without closing the door!

A thunderstorm, screams of "bravo", and the unanimously awarded EVSTIGNEEV victory. The artist crashed and collapsed.

Please give me a double whiskey.
The girl! This is school dining!
Sorry, I have thought about it. Compound please.

<xxx> You would close that topic anyway. There, the people already from the worklessness of the ascii-art draw the mating bobs, there is nowhere to go to the off-topic.

The story of a fragile blue-eyed 19-year-old girl:

I went shopping yesterday. The 30th birthday of a friend who should smoothly transition to the New Year’s meeting. The matter was in the evening, and in order to be sure until 21:00, first decided to pick up and pay for alcohol.
At some point, there was such a disposition: we go to the box office, someone ran forward, someone stood behind, looking at the goods, and I am alone in a cart, in which there is only a backpack and 9 bottles of vodka. In front of it comes a shop worker, the appearance is Central Asian. I see him slowing down and turning his eyes from the cart to me and back several times. Compared to him, I hear a very respectful quiet: "With the coming...".

The New Year’s corporate evil.
We sit, we do not touch anyone, we spend the old year. The boss looks from the hallway, wondering where half the people are from the office. One idiot began with a thin voice, and the other idiots continued in full voice:
Congratulations to Jay! Congratulations to Jay!! to
Well, you have understood. Presents from Santa Claus are unlikely to come.

I am in favour of a healthy lifestyle.
I started smoking because I was drunk.

Gogol’s response is late.

I understand ─ for you, Volodya,
Gogol, that Gogol is one shit.
But you, WOW, the meters are there, right?
So why didn’t you, shit, read me?

I forgive you! Certainly not a bitch.
I agreed. You are not so!
But you know, this is what ─
I am not generous. And not the salads.

Where did you study? In the States? Shut up?
Now you see, Wolf, that it is not ours.
We and Pushkin (a poet like that) think,
You don’t give up fucking.

Read more about WOW.
No more screens on the screen.
It is foolish not to show up again.
Revealed again! Well forgive me.

I forgot to add that Vaska, whose good grandmother clothed the room with sex lions, is a 14-year-old girl, very decent, excellent, a high school student...

I had to change the lamp at work. Like a regular house in the shape of pears, only big. by 500W. Or another room on the street. The sun is bright. And the lamp has no perfect shape (and why does it?And the light, passing through it on the ground near the shadow of the lamp, draws on the ground such a plasma sword. It is as if the two sides are divided. You turn the lamp - and the drawing also changes as a three-dimensional. He has already entered the image. The sword began to sound. and up. Monsters and alien assholes are flying apart. Big Boss asks me:
Dmitry, how old are you?
by Valery Petrovich? The 28...
And your son?
Two years...
You can give him a burnt lamp. And go and replace it until you break the ashes.

Do not disappoint! Everything that is not useful at the end of the world will be eaten in the New Year holidays!! to

How good when parents have a sense of humor. I study far from home, I contact my parents via Skype. We discuss with the Pope the work of Welbek and Begbeder. The conversation comes to an end.
I: What a highly intellectual conversation we had about French literature.
What else can I talk to you if you don’t have a grandmother?